FENG=D

Heels

2010-10-17T16:29:00.002+08:00

I'm sooooo much into heels now. I need my fat short legs to grow and illusion ppl that they are long. Hahahaha

I just bought a new heel online. First time shopping online! So fun and excited! Now awaiting shipment and all that for a month. =( So long lor....

Junhao dun allow me wear 13cm heel shoes. AHAHAHA. He say i will be taller than him so he rather me buy 9cm de. Mehh~
I've been so indecisive on what shoe height to purchase cause 13 cm look so much nicer. However its steeper and i cannot stand too steep heels cause my legs will ache the entire day. 9cm, of coz not that nice looking and i will still look short, however, is more confortable cause the steepness is only 7cm diff.

Anyway, im so excited for my stock to arrive! Hope it doesnt go out of stock.

Assignments and assignments. Holidays are meant for rest and not assignments! Yet i have assignments for the entire holiday even till now(last day of holiday) still choinging assignments. I bet the rest of my classmates have almost finish theirs.
=(

Gambatte to myself.

One more thing, school sucks.
Mehhhh~

Don't bother.

2010-10-06T01:16:00.002+08:00

I keep telling myself not to bother. Keep telling myself its nothing anyway. When people don't treat you the way you treat them, don't bother caring about them.

Sometimes i just hope i never knew those people. I will avoid as much as possible, they're not worth my time.

Why are some people like that? Seriously, making yourself look pitiful makes you want the world go your way? For heaven sake, look at how many millions of unfortunate people hoping that the world take notice of them and help them.
You? Yea, consider yourself lucky enough to be surviving well. Don't expect everyone to go along with you.

Your misfortune is nothing.

You think only you yourself have those thoughts? If you never want to say anything out, why even bother telling people you are not going to say it out? Attention much, no?

Every status regarding things that people already know makes you an attention seeker. Uh, we're not idiots. We don't need your status to let us seek 'light'. And uh, we don't gain much knowledge from them too.

If i had the chance to choose whether i want to meet you in life, well no.
Never.
Not to let myself suffer.

When you are safe, you don't care about others.
How true is that in reality?
Sigh.

Hang on.

2010-10-05T00:31:00.005+08:00

Sometimes when my heart really cannot take it anymore, i'll need something to hold onto. To prevent it from sinking further, and hurt myself.

Sometimes, humans can be so selfish. An unreasonable amount. They care only about themselves.
They think its ok. Yea?
Yea. Only for them alone.

Sometimes when things gets above the line, be alittle more sensitive.
When its over the line, have some common sense and stop.

Uncontrollable state. Made me came back to blog out. I dun have twitter, neither plurk. so blogger is my only way out.
Sometimes, blogging is your only best fren. Blogging comes into life partially, when nobody understands me at all.

Stressing out over assignments. These few weeks have been crazily busy. I have to force myself to get into work when im in the most reluctant mood.
Come on, its holidays! Cut me some slack man. Seriously.

Is this the life i really wan? I keep regretting the choices i made certain times in life.

Refresh, refresh. How i wish a refresh button is available when things goes wrong.

Grr. Fuck assignments.

Well...

2010-06-24T01:16:00.003+08:00

Concert had finally come to an end!
However, i am still very disturbed with the ending - Viva Rock. It should be a very beautiful full-stop to the concert, however, pretty much due to the volume, the whole damn song is screwed!
RAWR!

Nvm, its over.
Hais, i kinda miss the times where i get to put my legs on the auditorium sofa while watching daikoreans practising upstage, or lighting crew adjusting their lights. I miss those moments where i get to snuggle in the seats covered with my jacket, while daikoreans walk about and doing their stuff to keep the rehearsals going. I miss having treated KOI bubble tea by alumnis and every daikorean get to drink. We haven actually get to thank them for their little treats! I fell in love with KOI bubble tea, i mean it. I also miss having to paint the flags as well as teh-ping(taping) the stage. Hahahaha...
That plain few days just made me feel like auditorium is another daiko clubroom, only bigger! I miss those times where we simply treated auditorium like our home.

Its over. Mummy and sis and her bf and jh came to watch our concert. My sis and mummy dun really appreciate daiko arts, so they might not enjoy that much. Jh pretty much could appreciate some. I just hope this years daiko concert gave everyone who came a very memorable time with us. The whole thing was added with so much sweat and heart from our lovely daikoreans. Pls do appreciate =)

I'm left with last few days of holidays. IT WAS SO SHORT! First week was spent on daiko rehearsals! And now its going to school reopen. Eff sia, i hate school! I have having to face codes and more codes everyday, and knowing that a pile of assignments are drawing near. AHHH! -stab stab stab-

Still very bothered with my photography assignment. Seriously photography assigments are really going to make me hate photography. I HATE PHOTOGRAPHY! Anyone? Interested to act emo and let me take a few pictures? D=

It bloody cold now and i have got no idea wad to post and my fingers are going to freeze.
I just hope i can fully enjoy the rest of the holidays with jh and my daiko. And whoever miss me alot and wants to jio me out. Feel free to do so.
I just wanna play my heart out this few days. =)

Past.

2010-06-14T00:06:00.003+08:00

Just got back from a full day rehearsal from 10 am to 10 pm... Walan shag sia... so sleepy now...

Tmr still got training.. D= -Stabs myself repeatedly-
Tired still wan blog is because sth happen and i got the urge to blog it out.

Oh yes, today i had a deja vu.. Like a particular moment happened as though it happened in the past b4. It was when the ojime fell from the stand and the moment i help carry up to the stage, the dejavu feeling came to me.. I stood there for a few seconds thinking y does the falling of ojime and the reactions of daikoreans look so familiar.. As though i once dream of it b4 or sth.. D= Damn creepy! My god.

It was so long, so so long, that i had people commenting on my nose.
You know wad, when i was in primary school, you know how childish primary school were, when i was quarrelling with a group of frens, they had commented harshly on how i look before. It was so harsh, that it affected my entire life. It made me think that everybody thought it that way.

They laughed at my nose. They said harsh words like how my nose looked funny, identical to a pig. It was pretty damaging to my entire life. Once that was said, i had a period of my childhood looking at the floor when i was walking. Wherever i go, i will keep lookin at the ground, thinking i look horrendous in peoples eyes. That im not pretty. That i have a pig nose.
Other things that made me had low self-esteem was people commenting on my teeth.

Since very young, i had people saying how flat my nose were when i was born. I remember very clearly how my grandfather keep teasing at my nose before while he pressed on it. I never like people lookin into my eyes, nor looking at me. I avoid as much as i could in the past. I became very self conscious, thinking whenever they look at me, deep down they are laughing at my nose. Even until now, i did not like people looking at me. Thats how i got my phobia in presentation. Even in daily life, i dislike walking into mrt or bus with so many people staring at u while u enter. I still hate taking transport, to the extend that i rather choose a lousy school but a walking distance than going to a better school that is just 1 stop away.

I always laugh at myself when people say that im pretty. I never actually believe that. I learnt to be self conscious since young. I hated how people comment on my looks. I even hate people pointing out about my nose. Today a person just did. And it made me realised it has been years since i have people commenting and made me realised how low self esteem i was in the past. Going into crowds was a torture. Now still does, but it just keeps reminding me that i have a ugly nose that made everything in me ugly. I din no how to react, for a moment it brought me back to primary school days. I still remember the scene when that classmates of mine commented on my nose. It changed my life.

Since secondary, hardly anybody comment about my nose. So i was more confident, maybe because i've forgotten and nobody drill the fact that my nose is ugly.
Mr Robin had once remarked that im a confident person after my trial speech. He said i was confident. I replied Huh, no im not. He said "You think you're not. But you are confident." Again, i was laughing, at myself.

I've been thru so many experiences on how people laugh at my physical appearance. Secondary school also have. IT WAS THOSE FUCKING ASSHOLES that made me so freaking ashame of myself and my body. They only no how to talk shit. They never actually think about how much people are hurt because of everything they did and say.

I hate my nose.
And also everything about myself. =(

Stupid firefox.

2010-06-11T00:39:00.003+08:00

Seriously, firefox is being such an ass, as u can see i've updated my profile page. I din no until just now i realise in firefox, my tagboard cannot click on Go to tag. So idiot like me will press enter multiple times to tag, then u refresh and realised u have scam ur own tagboard. -.-

Stupid firebox mess the tagboard lar! IE is so much user friendly. I switch to check in IE, and works perfectly fine. My tagboard can click on Go.

Now i have to recode the tagboard to make sure both browser works perfectly well.

Then i realise another thing. IE will auto play the music player. In case those ff users are wondering, there is a music player at the bottom. To activate the music player using ff u have to scroll thru it to listen de lor. IE just auto play it. So good lar. I know nobody will listen to my music player, but i wan a music player in my blog.

So in the end, I have to update my profile text to explain to different users like firefox and IE, that in case IE users are wondering why is the music being played when u cant see the player, its right at the bottom, u wan to stop it have to go to the bottom to stop it. Then i have to remind ff users that u find my blog music-less, there IS a music player.

Troublesome right, y must these 2 stupid companies fight with each other and make the whole world suffer with them. Coding a page give 2 diff results. Walao.

Nvm, now its roughly done and im done with my rantings. Scared! Tmr got test. Wahhh~

Study, not.

2010-06-10T16:44:00.005+08:00

I'm sitting alone at a table all to myself.
Just few moments ago, with notes in front of me, I suddenly came up with weird thoughts.
While my back was facing and open space, a sudden stranger just come up to me and stab me with a knife into my back. D= Siao sia.
Then i went on thinking how will i react in that second. Of course the very first thing that i will feel is tremendous pain. Stuggling in pain, not knowing what to do, i came up with alot of possibility that i will do later on. 1. Fall onto the ground and stuggle with the pain while bleeding to death. 2. A cleverer idea of course, is to reach out to my handphone and dial anybody that is the closest. Which i immediately came up with junhao.
Then i continue thinking about what will carry on further. Like how junhao will rush out to me and looking horrified to see a knife stick into my back and how i will cry to ask him to pull the knife out.

Ok im insane.

Just had nothing to do and doesnt feel like revising and is digressing by thinking nonsense and typing it out like now.
Ok, back to notes.

Stress

2010-06-10T00:01:00.005+08:00

Everybody are doing very well.
These few days have been browsing around those people who were one part of my life. Things have change, now all of us are on a different route in life. They change, in their appearance. They might have change, in their character. I sometimes do think back, to those who had lived in my life once before, and wonder how they are doing.
Do they?

Browsing through people that look so different, so much prettier. To be honest, I'm pretty envious. Some slim down. How did they do that? Pretty astonished with how much they'd change.

I wish to be thin too. If you have the body, wear something nice. People have the opportunity to wear great clothings. And yet cause they feel weird in wearing girls clothing, they avoid wearing as much as possible. -.- I've always hated how much girls with great body dun appreciate their body and feel that pretty things they wear doesnt look nice cause they dun have a good body. I've always hated how much slim girls complain about their body and call themselves fat when they are thiner than everybody else. They are a serious brainless piece of shit tryin to insult everybody around her who are of bigger size.
You have slimmer legs be proud of it. Dun regret not treasuring it when you turn 30.

These thoughts have been in my mind for a few days. How i wish to be slim and wear nicer clothes too. :/

Anyway, i've been pretty stressed up by the photo narrative that i have to do. How the hell am i going to find emotive youths to let me take photos of them? I dun have friends like that luh.. D=
Oh my god.. kill me... I hate photography assignments. =(
Actually, I dun enjoy taking photos either.. I'm seriously feeling damn stress to find available models for my assignment.

Friday test coming.. and im so not prepared. People who even bother to search for textbooks make me feel that im definately not going to do well for my paper... And im pretty fed up with myself.
I'll do my best.. but i wont be so confident to say that anymore when i get my results. Exams sucks big time. =(

Daiko concert is coming.. and lots of daikoreans are nervous about it. Actually i dont. I'll only get nervous when the concert is about to start. But not now. I've been to alot of preformances. This upcoming concert to me.. is just like any other live performances.
Not feeling particularly excited about it when daikoreans shares the same excitements. Feels weird about it.

Pretty sad, none of my friends are interested to see me drum. I've only sold out 2 tickets. So ashamed. I think im gonna be the one who has the most tickets unsold.
I really wish my mum can come see me drum. As well as my father. Father gave me a "see how first" reply. Mum told me she can come.. But im not that sure about that.
Hais...
Stress, everything also stress. Next entire week is intensive training. Oh my god.

Blah.. off to do some revisions. Before i cannot stop my self from ranting more..

Back!

2010-06-08T00:21:00.000+08:00

Ok done! Its finally done!! Muahahahaha! I mean the blog skin. Took me a good whole day to finally finalise my blogskin. Phew. I think i've wasted too much time today. D=

Well anyway, its been months since i last posted. I was sooo lazy. This blog has been entirely erased from my memories until a few days ago when i started reading blogs again. It was then that i realised blogs once existed in my life.

Stopped blogging cause i thought nobody was reading. Then i rmb the last time i blogged was all for myself and nobody else. I din want anybody to read.
That is y i took it up again. Blogging was always for myself.
However.......
the experience of blogging was so much a chore in the past make me regret making this blog alive now. I wonder how long will this blog survive this time round.

Anway, today was quite a shocking day.
I met Lifang in the mrt while i was going to school. -shock-
Ok seriously, i'm pretty shock and excited to see her. It has been like wad, 1 and half years since i last saw her? She din came for the chalet that was last organised by .... i forgot who ler. Anyway it was not even for 4e5 cause other people from other class were there too.

Din change much!
Hmmm.. or did i grow taller these few years?
XD heh heh. Joke ok.

She alighted at jurong by accompanied me to wait for the pasir ris train while we did a very small chit chat. A good start for the day. She shock me awake for the rest of my lesson. I din feel sleepy at all even though i had 6 hours of sleep. Power~ Hahaha.

This friday got MST uh. So maybe cannot blog cause i very guai. Wan study. Hee hee hee.
Till here, i'll go make a short revise(i hope so) now.
Bub bye

2010-02-25T20:07:00.001+08:00

HIHIHIHIHI!!!!

Its been so so long! Wahahaha, been very busy u see. Ohohoho!
Ok lar, im lazy can. =x

Its coming to an end of year 1. I hate it! Year one is the most slack-iest year among other years in poly, and now i have to face the fact that im turing year 2 and whereby it is the year with packed schedules due to piled up assignments. Urgh! I hate being a year 2. I have seen those year 2 having tough time catching up with assignments due date. How they are rushing around just recently ago to finish their assignments. =( I hate that life.

Sians. Now i'm only left with one math exam (I have seriously no idea wad has maths got to do with our course) Anyway, its a compulsory module that everyone has to take. Blah, now im back to studying period just like my secondary school days. Oh god. Sians sians sians.
I had a tough time tryin to focus on my math just moments ago thats y i rather take the time to come here and post crap. The disgust of having to face numbers and words. Tsktsktsk. That is always part of the reason y i didnt choose jc path nor choose a course that requires having to take exams and test. Bleah.

Life's been going well. Boring as usual.
Just finish watching 海派甜心 & 就想赖着你.
I finished 就想赖着你 just today.

Wonderful taiwan drama i tell u. Awesome! Its been quite a time since i last watch dramas and tv shows. Really very very long. And now just in less than 2 weeks, i chiong finish these two dramas.
海派甜心 made me cry until the next day my eyes were totally swollen. I continued to cried even when im having swollen eyes. My god, the last few episodes can really make u cry for hours no stop. Gee...
就想赖着你 Made me cried once i think. Only once. Interesting show. I think i would prefer such drama than 海派甜心 which make ppl cry their entire heart out. I nv even cried that much watching other shows lor. It was terrible. Had to keep control but in the end still cry. =.=
But 就想赖着你 is rather funny and enjoyable. I would re watch it without condition cause not that dramatic as 海派甜心. Damn nice.

I din even bother looking for 目后花序 for 海派甜心. I did for 就想赖着你. Because JERRY is so SHUAI and ella is so FUNNY. However there wasnt much Behind the scenes to watch luh. Sian.

You know, after finishing those dramas and watched Behind the scenes, after that u will feel very empty. Cause the drama u were catching had ended? Or wad? I finish the drama today and feel so empty right now and couldnt figure out y. When watching, the characters and the actor felt so close to you, i even dream of them i tell u. But after that when u finished the drama and started watching behind the scenes, they felt so far away. So far at a place u had never been b4. Then everything turned empty. Ur world become empty for no reason. That is always y i nv like watching dramas. I always prefer movies.

That made me wonder, is filming enjoyable? How does it feel when u r a well known star, and very much well received by ppl all across asia? Then everything started to link back to, what do i want in life? I have no dream, no goal, i dunno wad i wan to do. I dun wan to waste my lifetime doing nth, but without aims, i have nowhere to go. I just hope someday, my life will become interesting.

Hais, still cannot delete the emptiness i have and erase the thinking that im leading a boring life.
=(
Seriously, how is everybody doing right now? Sometimes, its better not to be born, i suppose. :/

Nothing to do, nothing more to say. So shall end here!
Tata~!

2009-12-20T18:53:00.000+08:00

Lazy.

Woohooo. Its holiday now. One week had already past. So fast. I haven even started enjoying lehh... 2 more weeks left. Sadded.
Nvm, at least i've done sth fruitful during the past weeks. Hee hee.

I've finally get my hair done! Rebonded and dyed it brown. You might not recognise my back view now. Haha. I have some pics to show my hair. In fact i have alot of pictures to show for this post. Mwuahahaha....

I'm finally done with all assignments for this term! Math assignments are done! Woohoo!
Few week ago i had some silver infocomm day. A volunteering work, part of my module's assignment. =.= I seriously have no idea how is this module beneficially in any ways. Totally nth to do with my course.
We're there just a cyber guide to guide those elderlys in their lesson. What they are learning is about some basic computer stuff. Dun get too shock if u see ur grandma or grandpa using computer. Haha. It was soooo basic can. We have to teach them how to use mouse, keyboard, how to close a window, how to enlarge/minimise it and also teach them some caplocks stuff. Easy for us, hard for them. Teachin them really need alot of patience. But it was fun. At least when they are learning, they are students, and WE are teachin them. So they have no rights to nag or scold us. Hahaha.

But i did receive some scoldings/nagging when the fault doesnt even lies on me. =.= Stupid siol.

Ok, went to bugis for shopping! I've forgotten when was it. Anyway, after shopping we went to Iluma. New shopping centre which i've nv been b4. Man, the inner design of the shopping centre was soooo cool! Especially at level 5 to 7. But sad thing is theres too lil people! The shopping centre lacks of liveliness. And some shops arent even open yet. But still, the place is pretty. I'll definately go there to catch a movie if i have the chance. And the lan shop there is effing big. There's even 2 levels of arcade.

But still, too little shops.
I love the design. =D

Anyway, we went to the sky garden at level 7 to slack and relax.
Picturessss..

Some shots of the area around skygarden. To our left there's a restaurant.

To our front, is the pretty scenery, too bad im sitting down, so cant see much.

To my right, is the exit, into the shopping centre.

To my.... side, is this pig lying on the ground. Ahahahaha XD

Lol, retarded expression. Haha.

To my back, is a walkway.

I was so tired i almost felt like overnight right there and then. My legs almost drop after those shopping.

Thats about my Iluma trip.
-------
Next! Outing with my mum, sister, her bf, and jh.

Machiam family outing lar, just that my father isnt there...
LOL, its the first time my sis brought along her bf, and i brought along jh, to have dinner with my mum. So i took alot of pictures... Heh heh.
We went to ION to have lunch at some taiwan sorta restaurant.

=.=
Sibei unglam photo of my sister and her bf. UNGLAM.
I'm still posting it up anyway. Mwuahahaha.

Still very unglam.

Hahahaha, an unglam shot of my mother. LOL! Thankfully, it's sorta blurr. Hoho.

She pose childishly when she saw me taking her photos. LOL.
This adult must learn to grow up uh. Hahaha...

To my right is my mum, to my left is jh.

LOL, abit too close. Haha. That seatin is really squeezy.
Oh yes, did i mention their roast duck is nice? Damn nice can! The sweet and sour chicken was fab too! Man, im begining to drool again...
Heh heh...

After dinner we walk around and went down to sit and chitchat.
My mum and her pose - again. LOL.

My sis, her bf who is avoiding my phone camera, and my mum. Unglam shot again.
She doesnt have a decent shot does she? D=

Dunno what they doing.

I think they are about to start a fight uh. LOL
Nah, kidding. XD

LOL, they peace out. Haha, dun wan fight liao. LOL.

My mum began telling her jokes. Actually i dunno what they doing, i was all along takin pictures. HAHA.

Cannot stop laughing and fidgeting. Cannot take a clear shot of my mum luh. Tsk.

This two women uh. Like mother like daughter. LOL.

No, no. Im definately not like that. AHAHA.

Then after a long while of chit chatting, we went home. Hais, din want to seperate from mum. Still.. it was fun. A rare outing i would say. =)

-------

Few days ago i went over to jh house. Wanted to watch movies initially, but in the end, i wanted to try out fixing gundum since i nv did any of it b4. He had a new set so we started building it. MG set. Man, it wasnt that easy. Took us whole day can. But it was cool. I finally no how to piece up a gundum ler. Heh heh.

Last step to join up the whole body of the gundum.

Tadar! Joined!

Jh had the same set few years back, for some reason, he had another one, so i was allowed to piece the new one. Haha.

Aww, i forgot to take a picture of the final result. With the stand, wings and all that. =((

The result is so chio! Is happy to see the result after a few hard hours of piecing. =DD

Still, i dun think few hundred dollars of plastic is worth. :/ So ex luh..

----------

Okok, about my new hairdo...

The day after i rebonded..

At Jh house again... Hehe.. The only hideout uh. XD

Jh using his com.

Me and him.

Zilian-ing with my hair. The effect is pretty luh. No editing is done ok.

Using my laptop while at home. =D

Ok, i just woke up uh. So im in this state, half awake. Ohoho.

U no when u're lazy to the extend of hating to walk up to ur mirror to comb ur hair? Yea, so i use webcam. HAHA. Lazy luh, cant help. My butt stuck to my chair. XD

Yea yea, u can spot facebook notification at the corner. Im at facebook. =D

Camwhoring with webcam. Relax, i've wash up already.

Blah, dumb expression.

Haha, retard.

---------

The vid of my mum and sis plus her bf. Nth much to see luh. XD

-------

Ok, im done with blogging now! Hoping to finish my blogging while i go watch It Started With A Kiss 2. Im currently busy with this taiwan drama. HAHA.

This drama made me cried so many times luh. Heng nobody watchin with me. Paiseh.

Joe and Ariel is such a cute couple! XD Love love love this drama!

This week willl be such a busy week. Christmas is around the corner! Plus daiko spring cleaning, and daiko training. == I hate spring cleaning. Is there really a need to ask all year one which consist of about 20 ppl to clean a room? D=

Y isit compulsory!? =((

Sucks.

Blah. Thats about it. After i get more pictures of maybe about christmas then maybe i'll be back to update. =D

Till then!

Tata~

2009-12-07T12:17:00.001+08:00

IT'S HOLIDAY!

HIHIHI! Im backkkk! Miss me right? Hahaha~

You know y im so free to come back and blog right. Causeeee i've handed in most of the assignments!!! And left with 2 more test - drawing and math, a few days of CIP work and one more report. And im done with this semester!! Woo hooo, and its the holidays! Christmas plus new year. Its gonna be a new year in less than one month's time. I have so many things in mind for the upcoming year.

Im definately going for shopping. Oh my tian, how long have i not gone shopping. How long have i been wearing the same old tee shirts for sch. Ppl can easily spot me from what im wearing cause i've been wearing the same old thing from the start of the year till now. Change change change!

My moneh from last work's pay is running out. How to shop with such lil monehhh.. i need to work and find a job. But only when term 4 ends. I hope to get a job and earn monehhh. Will feel more secure when u no u have moneh coming into your bank. I have no idea how much i've left already. =((

I've been talkin about getting my hair rebond or maybe dyed. Words said and not yet done. Maybe this week or next week. My hair have been shit for the past months. I need a better hairdo. And im definately getting it done as soon as possible. Definately.

Ok. Forgot what happen the last few weeks so im going to talk about maybe the latest outing which is on last saturday.

But b4 that, last few weeks of sch was... yah, assignments weeks. Chionging assignments like no tmr. So im more free now, can relax abit, b4 i finish up whats left till the term ends.

So, last sat, went out with jt, ferg, jh for to print our assignment at sunshine plaza. Walao, the printing there is like fuckin cheap and good quality then stupid queensway which charge 2 bucks plus when sunshine plaza only charged 1 buck. For full colour printing plus cardboard quality paper. Next time shall go there again.

Then we went over to The Cathay as planned to Yes yes, its buffet again. Im gettin fat i no. Nvm, shall enjoy b4 2012 really comes. hahaha~ ( Excuses. )

Pictures pictures..

TaDar! Our highly stacked plates after sushi had entered our stomachs. Hee.

Here still got some other ordered food and sushi. Yum Yum. Its no bad actually. Somewhat like sakae. Haha.

Junhao's mouth stuffed with food. He din realise i wan snapping him. HAHAHA.

Stacking up more plates. The sushi was nice. However lesser choice. Some of my favourites werent there. =((

Stuffed a long sushi in. I dunno wads that called but nvm. I told him dun chew off so i can take a shot of him. Hahaha, he looks like he's chewing a fish. LOL. Unglam uh.

The environment of nihon mura. Doesnt that bamboos look like my restaurant city. Hahaha, full of woods. =.=

Thats the area we get out sushi from. And thats ferg hand and beside him is jt. Din take them cause dunno they wan anot. Just eat my own things. Hahaha, although hand abit itchy feel like snapping a few shots but i din. =(( I should right? Heh heh...

Then we went to watch Ninja Assasin. Damn, it was NICE. Great. Fantastic. Fabulous.

I love rain more and more. He look sooooo cool inside. He is lurbbed. That movie is M18. Yeaaaaa, we sneaked in. Ohoho, dun care. i wan watch it.

Violence. From the start of the movie it was thrilling till the end. Doesnt bore you out and u will keep wanting the movie to go on and nv end. I miss that movie. Rain is shuai! Woohooo! Ninja assasin is lurved. Ninja is cool. Rain ninja is even cooler! XD I wan to watch it again! If i got the moneh though. Hahaha.

After movie ferg and jt went home or sth, so me and jh went to taka. Main purpose is to find jh's bro. Haha, Oh , did i mention his bro born on the same day, same month and same year as me? He is... but im still older. Wahahaha, cause i was born in the morning. XD Anyway... wooo taka now got toy fair for christmas sale. Effing huge siol. I feel like working there. His bro is so slack. Machiam go there shop shop stand a while do some simple thing and u will get you pay.... well besides cashiering. Walao. Damn good. I wan go there work also!

After taka, then we went back home. =D

Hmm.. thats about it bah.. i gonna enjoy my free days b4 the 2 test thats coming up.

Till then!

Tata~

2009-11-22T04:09:00.000+08:00

Blah.

Sign - brown eyed girls

This opening is so nice! Feel so disco and techno-ish. I like! (Y) MV also kinda special.

Hmm, ok, gonna sacrifice my sleeping time to blog because its pretty dead right now.
Roughly describe this few weeks. Omg, its weeks can. Dunno how long will this post be again. =.=

Anyway, i believe i said about going to seoul garden twice a week? It happen 2 weeks ago i think. At first went to eat with jh. Then a few days later i was finally meeting my mum cause she was gonna give a surprise to my sis who just found a job at city square mall at farrer park. Siao eh, gombak to farrer park. I think she nv die b4. Ok.. none of my concern.
Anyway, nv went to city sq mall b4. It's so new that the crowd there is so pathetic. LOL. So many stalls not open.The seoul garden there has better service cause u dun have to get those food urself. Just like sakae, u click click a few time on the mouse at a tv, yea, the food will walk to u. I mean serve.

I've decided to bring jh there for no reason. =.=
Duh, to intro mum wad kind of frens i've been hangin out with.... Nah, u get wad i mean.
Anyway, i got no reason y my mum's face was red like an apple. Really the colour of an apple i tell you. It was sooo red that i got worried if her face was alright anot. Later on she said she din no the "fren" that i'm bringing is a guy. LOL.
My mum's purpose is not only to surprise my sis, but also to see her bf. Mwuahaha, 2 at a time. And also to meet up with us both luh, so long no see her.
I had a very great time dining with her. Chatted alot. Alot of history also being brought up, as per normal. She often talks about her history with our family.

It wasnt enough though. Only a few hours. =(( I wan to see her more. MORE! I dun care!
.....

Ok, picturesss....
Hmm, after like 10 years, i'm finally eatin half boiled eggs at hawker centre again. Nice man, so many memories when i tried them. Mother always bring us down to eat breakfast when she came to visit us. Yum yum, shall try it again someday. =D

Tadar! Our freshly half boiled eggs!

Tadar, our breaskfast! Half boied agg and mee hoon kway.. Last tues i think. Hardly can have breakfast in the morning. Cause lesson was cancelled u see. Hee hee.

Hee hee, he look so awkward here.

LOL! Pink is gayyyyy, he insist it's a healthy color. LOLs.

Tadar! Mama mia~

Ok, thats about my breakfast on last tue. Hahaha..

SO, my class went to pulau tekong on wed for ONOW. Go there see the army life. Not that bad actually. And, its so cool!! I totally respect each and every soldier that has or had been in army. Its sth that im very very proud of the guys. They earn my respect. Salute!
I would love to see my frens going in there, not to see them suffer, but to see a brand new them, getting all matured and strong u no. Thats the charm that guys have. Yes yes, they're darn great.

Anyway, i dun have the photos in the army cause no photo is allow. But i've taken some on the way back on ship. Cause the weather, was sth we dun see often. When we saw the clouds and rain, we've tot of 2012. End of the world. The clouds was so scary.

Beneath the cloud is the rain. It wasnt raining on OUR side. But u can practically see the rain falling on another area. Cool eh? The cloud is like gonna devour the small lil island.

This view is pretty. The clouds looked so low and heavy.

Rain rain! Still not raining at our area.

Oh and yes, the rain almost looked like some hurricane or tornado. D= Scaryy.
cannot imagine a hurricane in singapore. Within min whole island will be screwed.

Oh u can see a blue thing there? Nah, it's the reflection of the tv. Upgraded u no. Flat screen somemore. Loaded sia.

Ooh, captured another pretty sight again. So nice.
No la, is my skills good. Hee hee.

Been soo damn long since i last took a boat or ship or wadever that is called. Bad thing is, i keep gettin dizziness. It was terrible. It will be better if windows r opened.
Finally had a chance to take a look at the army. Great experience.

No idea of was to update anymore, so maybe about today.
Went to northpoint and wanted to eat sakae but were told only weekends have. Wadda hell. But we were alright. Instead we went to the japanese sort of food court. First time and it was nice. Yum yum.. Maybe even better than pastamania.
Then went to catch 2012. 3 hours man. I LOVE IT. I always love long movies so that our money was worth. 2012 is freaaakkking nice. Man the effect was so damn real. It was so nice that we keep complimenting about the movie after it ends. LOL.
You know, after been into DDM, u will know wad to look out in a movie. Things that u wont even bother notice when watching movies. Bad thing is, u cant really concentrate on the whole movie. Haha..
Anyway, 2012 is really great. I just hope and pray that it wont happen. Yes it will not.

Ok thats about it. I'm gonna go sleep cause its 5am in the morning already. Man, my sleep! =((
Thats all folks.
BYE.

2009-11-20T15:36:00.001+08:00

Short.

Short updates.
Just wanna say life sucks. BIG time. =.=
Oh and, its really really fucked up when u actually wanted to share a video and ppl reply "CHEH~!" very loudly just because they've watched it before.
Eh hello mother fuckers, ppl is here to share a video with u WITHOUT knowing that u've watch it before. Not doing any harm or tryin to spoil ur mood but y do u fucks have to hurt ppl's feeling just because they wanted to show a video. Nonsense idiots and assholes. If u dun appreciate it then fuck off, nobody beg u to watch.

Nah, just in abit of a bad mood and trying to release my anger here.

BYE.

2009-11-15T14:04:00.000+08:00

No more.

No more by Heidi Montag

Oooo, this is a pretty song. The piano at the background is nice.
Too much assignments coming and is rather busy. So no updates for this week i guess. :/
Thats bout it.
BYE.

2009-11-08T16:22:00.001+08:00

Dream, again.

Oh god, i had a nightmare today. In fact i have been dreaming all sorts of weird dream for these few weeks.
When i woke up i felt terrible, wakin up having the feelin that the world is gonna end, believin that the world ending in 2012 is true. It felt really terrible, it is worst when i have been broading about death that just happen few weeks ago. This made me woke up thinking that the world is really gonna end in 2012. I had to lie on bed for 1 hour to tell myself that it was all a dream. Only after i clear my mind, i brought myself back into reality.

My dream? Oh it was nothing, just zombies. =.=
Wadda fuck, it was so real. The whole world had been infested with viruses and zombies. More than half the population had turn into zombies. In my mind, this eventually lead to the 2012 thingy whereby the world is gonna end with everyone turning into zombies. I was so afraid, death at that point was so real. Scared to the point of suiciding than turning into a zombie.

In the dream, we ( i forgot who are the "we", but i think i rmb jh appearing in it. =.=) were hiding from zombies that were roaming around lookin for "food". Hiding in some sort of tent and keeping very quiet. While hiding, I was very afraid those who were entering the tent is not human beings anymore but zombies. Wad a joke man. Stupid dream. Zombies should NEVER exist in reality i tell you.
If it was u, will u rather suicide, or live and fight/hide from those zombies, if they exist?
I think there's really no point living, i wouldnt wan make myself go crazy by running away for your WHOLE life and living in utmost fear. I would rather die.

Zombies are really scary. It must be the movie Shaun of the Dead that caused me to have this nightmare. Zombie movie sucks. i rmb having to watch another zombie movie when i was young and had nightmare that night. =(( I also rmb vividly havin a zombie dream when my age was only a digit. Forgot when already.

This stupid dream, made me wonder if 2012 thing is really gonna happen. I wouldnt want to die so soon. No.

Anyway, back to the main subject, well, my life is still very fine. Assignments still continue to pile up like nobody business. This week, beside studying , i went out on sat (ytd) for buffet! Woohooo! XD

Pictures...

Jh, in sch late at night.
He zilian-ing his hair which had grown rather long. LOL.

Buffet ! Buffet!
Went to causeway point to have seoul garden and movie. Anyway, when we arrive, walao, it was packed with ppl. Then we look around, realise that it was a promotion event for uKimono (a massaging thingo if u dunno) and SHE was coming. I wasnt sure cause i din no SHE was in singapore. So i din bother much though i would really love to see SHE in person. I was rather excited at first, but forget about it when we went seoul garden. Anyway, wadda waste, should have camp there. Haha, but we din hear any commotions outside while we were eating. Hmm, maybe SHE din come?

Ok, i only rmb to take photos when we've already eaten full.

Tadar! Leftovers.

Extra hand.

Waiting to get desserts.

Still waiting.

Scoop scoop.

Tadar! JH made a face on it and wanted me to take a pic. Couldnt see anything here, but it looked like a monkey actually. With eyes and mouth.

Snap snap!

Giving me a weird expression.

Close up. Haha, his face looks huge.

Giving all sorts of ugly and weird face. LOL.

Still acting. He cant stop uh. :/ Haha.

Somemore!

Ok, back to devouring ice creams. LOL.

Yum yum.

Soup. Oh yea, the soup base is ginseng chicken. It was nice!

Hmm, din no y the colour turns out so yellowish. Must be the lighting.

Him snapping me in revenge. Haha. Gobble gobble.

Eat eat eat..

Heh, caught red handed. XD

Group photo at last! He acting gay again. =.= LOL!

Ok, final photo. =))

Went to watch My girlfriend is an agent. Damn nice. Hilarious and touching. Cried only in the midst of the movie. Ending was hilarious. The movie plot was nice! Though a bit confusing cause i couldnt really rmb their names. Great. Should really catch it if u got the time, and money of course. Hehe.
Ok, a new week and homework is gonna date due. So im off to do my stuff. Thats bout it.
BYE.

2009-11-02T12:00:00.000+08:00

Less updates.

Hihihihihi .
Been a while since i last update. Well, truth is, im been busy.. with... facebook games. Mwuahahaha !!
I dunno y but i've been lettin myself engage in those games and dedicate my time to it even though i was finding it lame and childish when i first started using facebook. Well, its not really that fun, but i couldnt let my own games died on me. I wan it to continue. And maybe its still fresh to me while others have been gettin tired of those stupid games. The games is gonna ruin me soon . Bu anyway till then, my blog is have even lesser updates. If u see me updatein more frequently, haha, thats means im tired of those games and couldnt much be bothered so im back to blog.

Anyway, sch been still sucky as always, i dun like class assesments and assignment. That fuckin gems has got its first assignment on week 5 on a quite easy presentation. I dun mind doin powerpoint slides, but i do mind havin to present. Oh my tian, moreover its in front of a class of 30 ppl which i dun even know yet. I dun even no their names. Wadda hell. Individual presentation. Oh kill me... let me die. Oh noesssss....
Week five is sure gonna suck big time.

Anyway, went out on last last last... (i dunno when was it already) saturday, for movies. With jh, jt, and ferg.
Went to watch Pandorum at The Cathay. Ok, we missed 30 mins of the movie, well done uh guys. Hahaha.... We bought the movie tickets just in time, but we were late. Sian diao. Movie was great, machiam horror la. I only had to cover my ears when watchin horror films, nv had to do that when watchin other genre of movies.
Thrilling and nice. Just that, since we missed out the first half and hour, we couldnt understand the story. :/ sadded, my ten bucks...

Anyway, after that ferg and jt left awhile, me and jh left Cathay for Clark Quay, The Central to shop. 2nd time going there. Hee hee. Around 6 plus, they were done with their church stuff , so ferg brought us to eat bah kut teh at.... hmm.. i've forgotten where's the place...

Bah kut teh there is fab! Well known i suppose. Heee, thanks ferg for intro-ing. Then not knowing what other places sg has, ferg brought us up somewhere near harbour front for have a night sight-seeing. Damn, im such a turtle, nv been to that place even though sg is so small. And that place great. Peaceful.. hope im gonna have chance to visit such places again.. Can relax u no, from all those sch work.

Pictures..

Ok, was at clark quay, one of the brownies shop at the basement level. using his phone to take pictures of him, while he use mine to take me.

At the sight-seeing place. Very warm after a long stroll around the place, jh helped me hold up my hair to feel the breeze. Hee..

Ok, thats all for the pictures, actually have some videos but not with me, updates some other times. Im gonna procrastinate further until i feel like doin the homeworks. I'm so tired and stressed out all cause of sch. Somebody pls join me.
I dun care, im goin back to play my fb games.
Till then.
BYE.

2009-11-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

Hua sha/画沙

Hear this new song few weeks ago while im doin my housework. Its quite nice.
Those who dun listen to chinese songs can just skip it. U wont be intersted anyway.
Tata~

2009-10-21T15:18:00.000+08:00

Sick.

Ok, sch started.
One word - sian.
It tells everything right? Duh, for someone who dread sch and hating almost every lesson that speaks assignment. Its only the 2nd day of sch, and half of my modules had already talked about the upcoming assigment's duedate. Sucks sia.
Oh, FIY, wed is an off day for my class. So i have no sch today. Speakin of it, it feels good. After 2 days of packed lesson, one day of rest, another 2 days of packed lesson, weekends is here. Enough rest i suppose? (Y)

Ytd, stayin in sch watchin some show. I wanna ask u guys. Have u encounter a sudden fear that pops out suddenly about death, when u r doin things like watchin tv? It just comes out of nowhere, made me have a thought about death. Nothing good about it, it just makes ur fear about death so distinct as though u r gonna die next few months. It felt terrible. I dunno how to put it in words... i hope im not the only one who have this sudden fear.

So while watchin show ytd, the fear came to me again (i had many encounters in the past)
Somehow, i wished i haven been born to see the world, knowing that u r gonna leave this earth one day. If i hadnt been born, i wouldnt have to face the fear of dying when u r so alive doin random things, like eating, or havin fun with ur frens.

Ytd, i realised, dying, also means being lonely. Sleeping forever, all by urself. I dun believe in those souls and spirits thingy, no heaven nor hell, just the way u were b4 u r born. U dun even no wads earth and being alive sort of death. I fear that.
I always had the fear when im alone, mostly when watchin tv, or daydreaming. But ytd i had company, i shouldnt had that thought.

Well, anyway, maybe it's cause im watchin some detective sort of show? Watching some poor old man kena ignored by his son, like how being old feels, and going to die anytime soon.
Or maybe, i've been watchin too much vids on how ppl being run over and cut into half and still alive, talkin somemore. D= Or how life is that vulnerable. You can die just so easily, and the rest of the world couldnt even bother... Quite sad actually.

Ok, so much crap about death. I was hopin that some other ppl has the same fear sometimes so that i wont look like a freak. Jh was so optimistic about death when i talked about it, i couldnt believe. He somehow fail to calm me down by sayin death is really nothing. I suppose he doesnt have that sudden fear. I wasnt being myself much ytd.
Do you have this kind of fear?

Anyway, i really dunno wads happen to me, after that death thing, i was suddenly very tired. (while watching Fringe, if u r interested) I was turning really sleepy, abit of a headache.
When time was up, we went home. On the way, my head felt bad, headache plus giddy. Every step prick the back of my head. Felt nausea, got the feel of vomitting. Din wan to eat nor drink, even plain water. Walkin like i was drunk. Throat felt terrible when i tried to swallow. I was sure im sick. Dunno is cause of fever or flu.
Went home check temp, 37.58. Zhun zhun on the dot. Directly went to sleep and my temp went back to normal today. But still a lil nausea. It was worst when i tried swallowin my maggie. Damn. I hope im ok.

Now about pictures.....

Ytd saw two hunter. Black and a white.

Tada! Pl look so much more like a sotong here. Hahaha. Actually jt din had her hood on. Is i wanted to lisiao her, make two ppl wear hoodie. Moreover one white one black. LOL

Quite a scene actually. I was fascinated! They look pretty much like hunter. Kinda cool. =D

Black hunter - JT

White hunter - PL

During OOPM i believe. That was roughly about my day. I must get enough rest and stay healthy. And i hope the thought about death wont always appear out of nowhere. I wont die so early... will i?
BYE.

2009-10-18T15:20:00.001+08:00

Sian.

It's sunday today. Sch is gonna reopen tmr. Nb, damn sian. I've enjoyed my holidays so far for these 2 and a half months and i realised it isnt enough. I want moreeeee! =(
Yea, like most of the peeps, haven adjust my bio clock back to normal, i wonder how m i gonna live thru that 7 hours of lesson tmr. It's till 6pm for godsake. Last sem was till 12pm. Now im gonna have to experience wad's real monday blues. Wadda hell. 6pm.......... 6pm!!!!! -faint-
Speakin of lessons, i haven check my class yet. Walao, sian.... Those who hope for sch reopen is really sick. Oh my tian. They really like assignments, lessons, projects, presentations, and havin to wake up fuck early in the morning eh? Sick.... Oh i feel sick nowwww....

After said, i went to check my timetable. Heng tmr is gonna start at 10am at t17. Woo! No need rush to block t20. But lessons after that is at t20. I prefer last sem's timetableeeee. I dun care if this sem only has 4 study days. Last sem i had 3 consecutive days only till 12pm. =((
Now it's 4 days of packed lessons. Fri had the least hours at first, but now after that stuuuupid gems, its till 3pm. =.= FML
This sem sucks, big time. =((

Anyway, that aside, here to update on Ferg's 21st bday party.
[15th october]
Ok, though its quite late. Still, a HAPPY 21st BURSTDAY FERGUSON LOY ! =D
Picturessssss.... Taken b4 his actual bday, cause he's in the army.

Its time to cut the cake!

Look that the cake! Well, cannot see cause of the blaring candle lights.
Anyway, its a shape of a huge key. And i tell u, its fucking nice. The cake was awesome! I LOVE IT. TOTALLY. One of the best cake i've eaten b4.
Ok, im a choc lover, cant blame. XD
It tasted like kit kat i tell you. A big kitkat in disguise. Its chocolate cake plus pieces of biscuit that u see inside kitkat. Effing nice! I bet it cost a bomb. Moreover its a big one.

It was so nice, that i requested for another piece. I was only jokin at first, but i really wanted so much. So i had that bday boy serving me another plate of cake upon request. Thankew you so much bday boy.

He just keep moving when i was tryin to get a clear shot of him. So none of the pictures have him standing real still and clear. How dare you.

See, still moving about :/

Still moving.
He really likes children alot eh? Jingting jiayou wor ! =D Heeeeeee.....

After blowing the candles, he was told to wish. Haha. Hope your wishes come true.

Lights on! Time for pictures. His father in the red shirt. Anyway Ferg, jh keep commenting u look alot like ur father. I couldnt agree more! Hahaha.

He's tryin to take off his shirt? Haha, no luh. Duno wad he doing.

SCANDAL!
Hee Hee. When the crowd called for ferg's girlfren, we know who we were pointing directions at. I nv tot she will walk out of the crowd without protesting she wasn't !
Heh heh, now u've admitted that u r his girlfren! Too late to deny. =P

Scandal~!

Scandal~~~!

Ok, no more scandals. Him and his ah gong .

Family photo. Walao, sibei grand siol. Invited so many of ur family members.
Big shot.

Anyway, i had my fun eating and celebrating his bday. After that we went outside the room and sat near the pool. And i was sleeping away. D= I was soo tired that i couldnt care much of the ppl looking at me sleeping as i faced directly near the exit of the room. I must have looked horrendous. :/
After that Ferg suggestted to drive us home. Soo gooooodddd.
Left me, jh, jt, and ferg in the room. Had fun watchin ferg opening present that was wrapped with newspapers after newspapers. Thats was the work of dear jt. She pro uh. Hahaha.
That's about it.

----------------

Ok, another batch of photos. For sakae. Had big cravings for sakae that day, me and jh. So we went to westmall to have it.

While waiting, i decided to take pictures. At least for this pathetic dull blog of mine.
I dunno wad he was tryin to do.

After shoving his sideburn behind his ears, he definately looked more like a girl. Hahahaha
After he heard the word girl as i commented , he decided to look gay for a moment. LOL

This view not bad.

There ! Turning all girly and gay. Hahaha

He gave me this expression when i called him gay. Mwuahahaha !

Tryin to snap me while i wasnt aware, but fail.
Oh my mouth was damn full cause i just stuffed a sushi inside. Haha

Videos !
The quality sucks when i upload it here. Tsk. Turns out so laggy. My phone no good. Should have used his.

I din no he was takin video while i stuffed food in my mouth. Unglam luh.
Anyhow...

Haha, his gay moment. I shot him while he showed his gay action.

Ok done. Thats about it. After sch reopen there will be less update i think. Sian.
Sch sucks. I'll try to update though.
BYE~

2009-10-12T01:40:00.000+08:00

Daiko.

I'm so angry now. No, im unhappy now.
Maybe u should watch this b4 u can understand. About Daiko, if u r interested.

NUS(Japan Cultural Night) Rehersal - DOH

I was chosen to play shime for DOH. The only freshie for shime.
FIY, shime, is the small drum, the main lead for the beats, and to control the speed of the whole song. Just like the drums for a normal band.
Nagado is to add patterns and more beats to the songs.
O-daiko (largest drum) is sth like adding the bass to the song.

I should be "happy/proud" to be chosen for shime. But not when everybody was reprimanded of their movements and all, i was the only one being named out of 8 new freshies. D=
It just wasnt fair. I din even no why am i being chosen for shime. The audition started at the wrong time! That particular day when audition was held, we had some practises first. Initially i was more prepared and ready for nagado drum. Then, we were told to practices 3 by 3 so that the senior can point out our mistakes easily. Since other 2 of the members din no how to play shime, so i tried to, cause i somehow knew the beats. That was the first day i started playin DOH with shime.
And when audition started (we din even no it started, we tot only practising) the whole of us played, and at the very wrong time, i was still kept to play shime. D=
Unfortunately, i was chosen to play shime. I find it unfair, i only knew how to play shime for a few hours compared to nagado which i trained for weeks. Was i so good, to the extend of being chosen to play the one i wasnt even ready yet?
I dunno, i din wan shime in the first place.
I dunno y am i so unhappy. I no we should accept criticism, moreover from our own seniors. Maybe i was more angry cause the senior gave that Oh-you-were-being-chosen-for-shime-so-you-must-be-good-in-it kind of tone, when actually i had played it for a mere few hours which i only knew how to play right only during the audition day. First of all, y m i the only one being name? Tsk.
(EDIT) Ok, another few freshies were being named in a comment by another senior. But still, im unhappy. =(((

Anyway, during that rehersal, i was in a drained state. As i have mentioned, since i only knew how to play shime a day b4 rehersal day at NUS, i worked more hard to get my movement right only during the day for rehersal b4 we proceed to NUS. My left leg was almost in a crippled state. Try having to bend ur leg up and down for at least half an hour. Man, kill me. When we were up on stage, my leg was practically shivering and in sore. I even had blister on my big toe. =(( Double torture. My contact lens arent giving me good time either.

I just need to spit things out. I was said to be bending in a awkward position. Was said that i was too tall as compared to the one beside me and it caused my movement to be inappropriate. Was said that i was a lil diff with another shime player and told me to compare myself with her.
First of all, im almost a head taller than her. So to make myself the SAME height, i have to spread my legs bigger and bend my legs more.
Bend my legs more? When my legs couldnt stand it anymore? I almost wanted to chop it off. Pls rmb that i only learnt shime for a few hours. I haven gotten use to bending so low. Shime was suppose to let shorter ppl play. And i did compare myself with her. Almost all is the same except that i missed a few beats. I dunno. I couldnt be seen clearly?? So did i look semi-visible in the video?
D=
It just isnt fair.
This led me to think that, if things were known to turn out this way, i would rather not be chosen.
Anyway, it was just a flash of thought. Im still glad i was picked for DOH. =)
Still, since it's no point sayin so much, i'll keep tryin. I'll still try.

I'm tired, i have a few photos with me, during ferguson bday party.
But i think i'll update it a few days later.
Thats all folks.
BYE.

2009-10-06T18:26:00.000+08:00

Tired.

Just came back from training. Hooray for me, at least i was able to force myself and crawl outta my bed early in the morning. Was almost- no, WAS late. But heh heh, president not there, no punishment, woohooo!

My legs feel damn sour, as in, sore. Like i stepped onto lemon liddat. Great man. T.T
And abruptly, only after i reached the clubroom, then i was reminded that there was an audition for DOH drummers. D= Unprepared luh, totally.
A senior came to be the "judge" for the audition. When some ppl asked when's the audition, she said "Finished already."
Stun. You mean audition already started while we were merely practicing?
GG.

Anyway, goodluck for all freshies =)

I've been losing my appetite nowadays. What's wrong with my stomach eh? I've been a great eater till last few days, after the cramps started, i feel a lil nausea ( It's not wad ur sick mind think of. ) Simply felt a lil detest of chewing food when im actually kinda hungry. Whats wrong with my booodyyyyyyyy. A symptom for periods? Hope so.

Internet is so sian now. Everyday simply came online, msn, blogs, being a kaypoh at fb, then nothing left to do :/
To the extend of coming here to blog rubbish when im actually very lazy to type.
Gah, ok. Thats about it.
I've updated. Yay. =.=
Ok, BYE. (I'm being very lame now, and very tired. Training kills me. )

2009-10-06T02:28:00.000+08:00

Hair.

Hmm, its 2.28am now. Have training tmr, thinking of ponning. Hee hee. No la, i'll still try to get up and go for the training. TRY though. XD

Just some thoughts about hair...
I'll go for robonding sometime later. I've been havin bad hairday for like weeks and i cannot tahan already. Y dun i have silky rebonded-like hair like my sis does?! No fair! Din we came from same parents? (Or maybe not :/) (CHOI)
Yes, i've gone back to using hairgel to keep them in place and from those frizzy hair. Oh god, my hair sucks... I seriously miss my really long hair :/
Rebond rebond rebond! I'm tired of my messy hair and havin to keep them in place whenever slight wind blows. Tiring u no.... Tsk.
Rebonding can make hair look longer! Heh heh.
And im thinking of.. dyeing my hair... hmm..
Maybe not. >P

Ok, random. I'm bored.
Thats about it.
BYE.

2009-10-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

100th

2nd post for the day. And officially declared the 100th post for Fengsays! Yay! Hee hee.
Anyway, reason for the 2nd update is cause of this video. Maybe you watched b4.

Very sad and touching. Watched 2 times, cried two times. I hope this story isnt real. please no.
Im afraid of watchin it again cause each time i watch i will feel damn sad.

A worth of sacrifice

The man damn heroic. This is a damn powerful piece of work. Nice. LOVED.
I think very few ppl can do that. Sad seh.

Ok, thats about it.
BYE.

2009-10-04T22:11:00.000+08:00

New.

YAY! Finally a new blogskin, as well as a brand new playlist.
My everything by Lee Min Ho is very nice. Listen to it! =)
I dunno if this blogskin is nice, but maybe i shall use it temporary, till the day i find a new skin for my blog. It wasnt that above pic at first, i've changed it and added a new one. Good thing is, i can change the picture as and when i like. Changeable. Hee hee. This picture i think is last time Erika showed me b4, then i like it alot. I shall find new pictures for it then. Meanwhile, i'll just have the pic.

Ok some pictures...
Few days ago went to vivo jalan jalan. Its been ages since i last went vivo.
After some shoppin till late afternoon, we went to the sky garden to view the scenery. Never had such quiet time when i went to sky garden last time. Sat down and chit chatted. Starin at the worm-like train passing by, lookin at the lights from constuction site, and feelin the wind on my face. Had quite a peaceful time. Anyway, the view will be great if IR is ready.

A picture of that scenery, while IR isn't ready yet.
Even if its not ready, the view if fab also. LOL.

Jh while we were still shopping. Yes, apparrently he doesnt no. Hee hee.

Mwahaha, caught him while crunchin ice cubes.

Picture of us.

Another one.

A not-blurred one.

I think he was tryin to kill me.
Nah. Jokin. Hee hee, itchy hand luh. Tsktsk.

Another shot of the scenery. At a later night. I was lazy to take a night one. That will be the best amongst the other 2 i guess. Cause the night view is fabulous.

On friday,
i went for a mooncake festival celebration with Daiko members. Nv take any pictures again :/ Before that had a group discussion with the webp competition members. Haha, supposed to meet at 10. But i woke up at 11 :/ In the end we only dicussed at 12 pm. Sorry guys. Heh.
So during the celebration at west coast, we had moon cake and pizza. And played with candles, sparks, and lantern and some games too. After sooo many years I finally celebrated mooncake festival again. Last few years is stay at home rot. Even when it ended i also din no. Hahaha.

Then on saturday,
we went out for a very advance burstday celebration for Ferguson Loy. But it doesnt seem like a celebration. We had planned to have lunch then a movie. But he neither accompanied us for lunch nor movie :/ Instead he went for massaging. Wadda hell. Really know how to enjoy life seh... Only after we finished the movie, he came again to fetch Jt and then they went off. Wah, doesnt seem like any celebration for him at all.
Anyway, we went to AMK hub to catch Accident. Overall, a great movie, it wasnt boring, cause there wer some alittle gruesome scenes. And suspense plus a twist in the end too. At first very confusing, but understood wad the movie was about in the end. Nice, should watch. Ended too fast le lar, i was hopin it will go a lil longer. Heh.

Today,
i had a terrible stomachache. Early in the morning i was woken by dunno who, then it started to ache. Not diarroea kind. Thuddin pain kind. Once every 20 secs. It was unbearable so i decided to sleep to forget about the pain, but will be awaken every few seconds, until i finally fell asleep. I lay flat on my stomach for more than 4 hours. Wad an awkward position to sleep. It was a hellish time today. It finally stops when i woke. BUT, my cramps started. Fuck man! I was drained out of energy due to the cramps so i din feel like doin any housework. When my grandma came back, she ordered me to do housework no matter wad. =.= Since she had passed my age y couldnt she at the least feel for my state.
Overall, today sucked. Big time. Brrr.....
No wonder i had serious mood swings few days ago. PMS now. So none of you should come and irritate me. =S

Anyway, about this thing that keeps bothering me. Ppl who are concerned about me and his state, i think i should make myself clear a little. We may look very close, we're arent really together yet. Why dont ppl believe me and go around concluding and making assumptions?
I have this Tan Chee Liang, telling everybody that i cant make it for the mooncake festival is due to my "boyfriend" -- Hao ge. =.= I had Daiko chairman come asking me cheekily y i came that day when she tot was suppose to be with my Hao ge. I asked her who told her such things, and she annouced bobby as the culprit behind these nonsense. TCL, where did the first place did i even annouced that i have a boyfren already? Can you have at least have a lil respect for ppl's business that has totally nothing to do with you, rather than going around spreading things that arent true? I told some of them he isnt my bf yet, they give that "dun bluff "face and rolled their eyes. What? Now im the one who isnt speakin the truth?
This isnt any matter to joke with. And if i said so, it means so. Stop makin ur own fuckin assumption. Pissed me off.

Okay, sorry for those rather rude comments. As i said, im havin pms right now.
Anyway, thats about it.
Shall blog next time.
BYE.

2009-09-27T12:57:00.000+08:00

Photos.

Ok, be warned that the rest of this post are gonna be photos which are gonna bore u out.
I suggest u not proceed to scroll down and move on to other blogs.
Think u will scroll anyway :/

Anyway, had an outing ytd, no i mean lunch with JT, JH, Ferg. It was a last min decision. LOL. Cause actually had only decided me and JH to go for sakae only. Last min Jt tell me she could make it. So tardar!
Went to Park Mall for Sakae. (Y) Around 3pm - 6pm.
Shyt. Din took any photos. Oh god. Nvm.
But after sakae, we went to Plaza sing, me and JH planned to catch Phobia 2. So we seperate into 2 groups. They went to search for formal wear. =.= That soldier damn imba. After sakae the time was around 5 plus, then he did a last min shoppin for clothes when the weddin dinner is gonna start at 7 on the same day. Walao. Nth to say luh. Pro (Y)

Phobia 2 was great. Really great. It wasnt that sucky as 4bia . (Catch 4bia online cause i wan to no the story b4 i catch phobia 2) 4bia was too fake. The graphics looked too obvious and fake. And the part that made me jumped was the sound. Too intention. No nice.
Phobia 2 was better. Enjoyed the movie. Got one story in 4bia and phobia 2. They reused the same actors. 4 same guys in both movies. The guys make great partners i think. Haha.
Anyway, i dun understand y this movies had to make all stories have a bad ending. Sian.

Ok, so after the movie. Went to walk around the mall. I tidied JH hair and snap some shots to show my workpiece. In the end, it became spammin time. I spammed lots and lots of his pictures. He took mine in revenge. LOL.

Took in Otaku house.

Outside the shops.

Inside one of the figurine shops. The top level had real lots of figurine shops eh? Often spot those rather hentai kind of girl figurines and got myself high. Mwuahaha. No la, rather fascinated actually. Hee hee.

On our way down the escalator.

Another one. Hair is the spotlight. Not him. Hahahaha. This view is rather nice. =D

This one no bad also. =D

Took too near his face. For some reason, this reminds me of doreen. LOL!

Tryin to show off his fang-like teeth. =P

Oohh ooh. This view is fab. His hair is great (Duh, "styled" by me) And i hate it, cause its better than mine. Envy sia. Y his hair's texture is so good. No fair.

Another close up shot. Blurr though :/

At the mrt.

Gettin his top view shots. Ok, im too short can.

Another one.

What is he tryin to do eh? LOL.

Tryin to act shock/stun. Attempt fail.

Aha! A better one.
" The big guy couldn't get out of the train door! Oh my tian. "
Or maybe he saw a hideous giraffe inside. LOL
Ok, random. =.=

Blur face.

Lookin for the vid he took.

.........

Ok, his turn for revenge. A few pic of me. Using his hp.

In the process of snapping him.

Another one. Inside the mrt. I find this angle nice. Woohoo. (Y)

Top view of me.

Tee hee, im takin a video of him. Its uploaded at the end of this post.

=) Another one.

At mac.

Ok the vid. First time uploadin vids.
Anyway, my phone sucks! Din no y it turned out so laggy. While his phone turns out better :/
Few seconds of random.

He took mine. I dunno how to tilt the vid back. Too bad.

I din no he was shootin at all lar. Until the end, when i found out sth is not right, then realised he was videoing. So i lunge at him, if u can see. Mwuahaha! I din manage to snatch the phone from him though.

....................

Anyway, thats about it.
Realise i have nth to blog for the moment. And my blog been kinda dead. Im lazy to bloggggg...
Think its better this way.
Anyway, thats about it. Updated this half dead blog of mine.
Tata~!

2009-09-20T16:41:00.001+08:00

Trying.

Yoyoyo. Back to blog about the week, and some pictures.
Beginning to feel very lazy. My blog has been so dead.
My fault.
Anyway, lets talk about tuesday.
Daiko training, hmm.... Manage to catch up with the rest even though i pon the previous training (Haha.) So i learnt 2 patterns in a day. Catch up quite fast.
And that landed me with a body full of aches and pains and blisters and an immobilised body.
Oh my god, whole body was achin the next day i woke up. Its been days, no, months since i last exercise. I had a hard time crawling up the stairs. =(

Anyway, it was fun. Trainin was supposed to end at 3, but it ended at 5 instead, cause all of us were so engaged in practising and everybody got so high beating the drums together. So ppl din stopped, and kept wantin more, u will nv how the scene then if u werent there urself. Haha..
So the training dragged till 5 :/

Next day, i've organised an outing to have a meet up with that soldier. Ferguson Loy. I nv organised any outing b4. But i've tried to plan a yuki yaki buffet lunchin with them.
Y yuki yaki? At first i wanted sakae, that stupid soldier sounded reluctant. Hahaha, cause i think he've been going there quite a few times. So i said yuki yaki. Cause he was hinting yuki yaki as i've mentioned in my blog. :/ Haha.

Then ok luh. Yuki yaki it shall be.
So invited jt and jh.
Wanted to call sotong der, but i wasnt sure if xj or her is free. sian. Sotong very busy uh? Haha.
Shall book u earlier next time. =)
Ok, let pictures talk for me.

As usual, for the DIY ice cream i will always start with makin names of whoever is there.
Haha, very matchin uh? 2 Js for jt and jh, 2 Fs for me and ferg.
First time trying green tea flavour. The colour is nice. Nice light green. Taste not bad also.

I only took pictures after our buffet. :/ Haha, i think i too busy eatin teppenyaki ler bah.
Paiseh.
Ferg tryin to shun the camera. Too bad. =P

Ok, we made a deal, if they were allowed to take photo of me and jh, then they allow me to take a nice photo of them. Sia la, wan make deal for a shot sia. Bu hui zai li hai.
I was reluctant with takin pic. But made a pact, no pics in fb, only blogs.
Ok lo. Deal.
So they took photos of me and jh with jt phone, while i took theirs.

Another shot while they weren't lookin. Hee hee hee.

Ok, ferg help me took a photo of me and jh.

DIY ice cream.
Think its cuppucino flavour.

Look at the amount of ice cream we ate eh? So many cups.
Delibrately stacked up.

Divided by half, while jh hand being extra. Haha.
More pictures with jt. Shall update them next time.

After yuki yaki went to catch Blood Ties at cine.
It's m18 !
Ahahaha, i've caught 2 m18 movies in a week for the first time. XD
First one was on mon, watched Gamer at AMK hub. Amazingly, that person din ask for any IC. Think jh looked too old ler la.. HAHAHA.
But for Blood ties, stupid auntie wanted to check IC. The guys thought fast, said we haven't arrive.
Hahaha, so jt and i were able to sneak in. Jt looked too young ler la. The person checkin at the ticket was suspicious at first. But din do anything . =D
Another success. Woohooo!

Tada! Was too bored, so take a snap of the tickets.
In conclusion, AMK hub was better to sneak in than cine. =)
Thats about it.
Right now, is only busy with the Webp competition banner.
Haha, i hope the banner will add some bonus points to the page. I think my idea suck. :/
Anyway, its stilll in progress.
Hmm.

...........

Tsk.
Why don't we have night streets just like any other countries like Taiwan?

Like... I want to go shoppin at night!!
Why singapore shops all closes sooooooo early!
Unlike Taiwan, where they have Shillin night market to shop and also eat at night.
I often have to urge to go out and spend the night shoppin, eating or hangout.
Though we have such streets like Bugis, but they closes early.
Or there is other places to hang out at night? Dun tell me places like clubbing. =.= I dun think i will like it. And i haven pass that age for it yet.
Hais, i envy such countries. i wan to have place to go around midnight too!
=((

(Pictures taken from google.)

Ooo, im hungry nowwwww.
=(
Someday, singapore must have such places too! I dun care!

Ok, some random rants for the day.
Its still the holidays, and im scared of sch reopen now. Havin assignments sucks. Bleahhhh.
Having said, off to do more browsin now.
Tata~!

2009-09-13T18:31:00.000+08:00

Hee.

Ok, after so long of laziness, i should be back to do some posting.
Had a busy week. was almost out the entire week.
Well, leave that for later.

Found this song in youtube for the music tuesday category..
I heard the acoustic version of it b4 i heard the orginal.
And its pretty nice. I think its a new singer.

Dollhouse - Priscilla Renea(Acoustic version)

In this version can hear her voice clearly.
Damn powerful. Some comments also say her voice is better than beyonce (is that how her name is spelt?)
Nvm. Overall, she's good.

I've been spammin this song the entire day. Nothing new. It's rather old song.
I had played this dunno how many times. And my music player is still playin this song. Hahaha.

可以不愛了- 梁文音

Nice. Her pitch darn high uh, cannot sing along. Sadded.
The bridge part (i think) brings the song to the highest point.
Aiya, dunno how to describe.
Nvm, suan le.

So for the entire week, ok let pictures explain for me.

Monday, went to T1 at tampiness. I think some ppl dunno about this shoppin mall. Just located opposite tampiness mall. So we decide to go there shop. Since neither have i been to tampiness mall too ( ok abit mountain turtle, sg so small yet i've nv been there b4)
ANYWAY, just like any other shoppin centre.

Went to eat seoul garden for dinner.
First time going to seoul garden also. =.= (ok, total loser)
Ok leh, nice also. Compare to Sakura i prefer seoul garden. Cause i think Sakura has less food that i prefer. Go there spam teriyaki chicken. Damn nice. I think the nicest meat there. Just like sweet sauce dory fish at yuki yaki. Yum yum.

After eatin all those meat, we spare our stomach some space for ice-cream. Haha, i think the ppl there hate us.
We took a bigger bowl to contain. Not only that, we top up those ice cream around 4 times. Just like havin 4 bowls of ice kachang. We top up really alot each time. No joke. Hahaha..

AND, after ice cream, we feel that we still can eat, went to take more chicken to eat again. Hahaha.
And you know wad, theres this 2 teens that came after us. When they saw us comin back with more chicken after our deserts, they look rather stun. And i think i saw them whispering. Ohoho. We can really eat uh. We left after they left also. Hee hee.

Took some pictures before we decide to leave. They were closing btw. So some waiter and waitress saw us camwhoring. =P
Anyway, thats not the point.
( Using jh phone to take )
Solo pictures.
( Using my phone ) Whose phone camera is better? Of coz mine la, so clear and the colour is more accurate. His hp cam looks so orangy. Dunno wads wrong also. :/
Haha, my cam ftw!

Tuesday, was suppose to have Daiko. But nv go. You know why. Hahah.. too tired. So i pon lo.
Wad, got any problem?
Wednesday, i decide to leave for Alexia bday chalet at The chevrons. Last minute decision also. Decide to overnight at least one day outside home during the holidays. Damn sian can.
So went around shoppin for her bday present at jurong point. Then headed to chevron.

Ohmygod. U cannot imagine how many ppl where there. It was crazy. Total craze man. I dunno how she's gonna celebrate her 21st bday. I think she will have to book the entire place sia.
Below pictures is gonna show u the crowd. I took this cause its a pretty rare scene. Too many ppl ler.
Btw, the picture only showed 3/4 of ppl. The rest is either cut out, or hidin in the chalet playin mahjong.
And i tell you, the cake damn big. Sia la, her bday jitao grand seh.
I die also dun wan such grand bday. Paiseh uh.

She takin photos with her sec sch frens.

This is the group of Dmit ppl. Own the place, totally. Hais, picture not clear, and i too short. Cannot take everybody.

She takin photo with dmit guys. Cause i think the group too big ler, need divide.
Can spot the cake? Damn big. D=

And we had a hard time finding place to sleep also.
Some ppl can play mahjong till 6 plus then go home. Walan, imba gang.
I dunno how to play mahjong. Sadded. So have to hunt a place to sleep to spend the night.
In the end slept at the lobby. Got sofa but no aircon, wake up the entire shirt all drench. =.=
Anway, thats about the day spent for the chalet.

Chalet till thursday and the rest of the follwing days went to ppl house slack.
And i finally touched dota. Still, im still curious wad got those dota lovers so crazy over it. :/

Ok, that about it.
This post is enough for me to excuse a few more days, maybe a week.. hehe, depends which days im free enough to come post again.
Till then.
Tata~

2009-09-05T21:55:00.001+08:00

I don't want to hurt you.

Ok, so about my haircut.....

Ok, so that was about the length before, well, longer than that cause my bag covered some other length.
Please ppl, its only a picture. Dun go hoo-haa about it. I've decide to post this cause i only get to no some ppl took this photo secretly, without me knowing at all until i saw it one fine day, which was like months after. So i shall share. This photo was taken quite a while already. Hmm.
Dun assume. Though i have nth to hide. :/

Tada, so this is the length right now. Spot the difference?
If u pajiao, then let me tell u, yes, its shorter. And less straight now. Hmm.. thinkin of rebonding. But thats for later dates, no planning for it yet.

Got alot of free time, but very lazy to update. Hee hee.
Anway, i'm now in the process of gettin a new blogskin. Very de sick and tired of this blogskin.
You guys think i should? Or u prefer the old one? This blogskin has been like 4 months old. Time for a change i suppose.
Still deciding if i should change anot.

Ok, more photos. I've ran out of topics already.
As u can see, i've change my profile pictures. So this was the not-really-orginal picture. So u can spot wad difference i've done with this to the one up there. Yes duh, i've flip the pic. Cause when i flip, it look less like me. Ohohoho. So set on that.

Had watch G-force. Kao, those guinea pigs darn cute. But im not satisfied. Not very impactful though. I was hopin for a more big and grand ending. Doesnt really seem like they've saved the world. Hais, but it just ended liddat. :/
Anyway, its great.

Hmm.....
Something is lost in my life. I should be satisfied. But im not. I simply feel very lost.
Coming to lost, i think i am and should regret getting into DDM. :/ Beginning to feel regret. Beginning to think that DDM isnt my choice. Seriously, i dun think i can strive in that course. Hais. Wad if i had a difference course right from the start, will my life change? I will meet different groups of ppl. Have another change in my life. If only... hais....
Going into that course, i dunno? Makin me feel more worthless and useless.
Just a clearer picture and proving that i'm a person with no talent at all.
:/
Talent? Haha..
Dance?
I've cut the connection with dance already.
...

I dunno.
Regret choice = no future?
What do i exactly want in life.
Hais, i nv had an ans to it, i nv had ANY answer to it right from the start. And is very confuse right now. I'm still in search of this answer.

Hais nvm.
Shal zao to work on the skin.
BYE.

I dun wanna hurt you.
So i'll try. But it seems like im forcing myself.
I dunno how to let you know. Cause u seem contented. Like a happy child. I dun wan to disrupt that happiness in you. I dun wan to see you sad.
I thought i can try. I thought maybe.
Sometimes i'm ok. Sometimes i'm not.
Sometimes i'm a little confuse. I dunno wad to do.
Sometimes i know i should do sth. Sometimes i know im wrong.
Sometimes i know im forcing myself.
Sometimes i know that im only trying.
But i still want you to be happy.
I dunno wad to do.
I need you to be a little different. Mature maybe.
I need to feel more secure. I need to have more confident in you.
Because im aware im not.
I really dunno wad to do.
Im trying, still trying...
...
Maybe....
things will eventually work out.
I hope. =)

2009-09-01T15:40:00.000+08:00

Heartbreaker - G-Dragon

Heard this song for the first time ( Yes, first time. )
The dance in this vid instantly made me love this song. Nice uh.. Their dance damn cool! Love their dance. Goes very well with the song. =)
Simply repeatin the vid and watchin their dance steps.
Not a fan of GD.
But this song is loved. (Y)
Oh the mv of this song is damn cool. The way he punch that brick wall down. Go watch it. =)

Anyway, been feeling so weird nowadays and i feel like i've exhaust all my body energy. Just feels weird and weak. Gahh... i wan back a healthy body. :/ I just feel so so tired and queasy for this few days. What is happening to my body.. Ugh.
And i've been havin weird dreams, bad dreams i suppose. Haven't had good sleep. Like today, have been wakin up umpteen times and forcin myself back to sleep cause i no i need more sleep. Disturbed sleep nowadays. Hais. Tell me a way to solve all this discomfort.
And i'm feeling so tired again when i've actually slept 12 hours today. I need more sleep.

And im cravin for good food. Everyday once i wake up i will hope for good food. Or maybe just hope for interestin program for entertainment or just go out and have fun and relax myself. But stupid body of mine resist it. It just wans to rest at home. But i simply feel like going out and have fun.

Tsk.
Anway, i've finally got my hair cut.
Right now, it's 3 inches short. I think more, maybe 4 inches. D=
Not used to it, but i like. Although abit she bu de. That few inches took me quite a while to grow can.
But at least it looks presentable, neat, and easier too take care. Love it.
Maybe makin it more shorter will feel exciting. Haha, its been a while since i get short hair. :/ Think around 7 years. More than that.
Anyway, shall update pic if i get to snap a picture of it.

Oh yea, last saturday went to sakura, would prefer yuki yaki actually, cause taste better, and nice, and more fun.. blah blah blah. But i had my fun at sakura on last sat when we went. (With jh) I had my full. VERY full. Then we went to watch G.I Joe. Ok, its quite late for us to catch that.
Anyway, alot of actions. Exciting. Nice. Haha. No bad no bad. =)
It's the first time i went to yishun cinema to catch a movie. If any has been there, it has a diff procedure b4 u enter. U get to buy stuff (Eg, popcorns) at the counter b4 u give ur tickets and enter the movie hall normally right. But in yishun u have to pass ur tickets b4 even u can enter that level and buy ur stuff. Its like once u reach that lvl on the escalator first thing is to pass that ticket b4 u enter and do anything else. D=
Ok, nth big, but its new to me. Haha, i was surprise at that for quite a few min.

Ok, shall do more update when i got some pictures.
Ok, zao now.
BYE.

P.S. Dun get too worried. I'm fine. =)

2009-08-29T05:38:00.000+08:00

Fine.

"I will give anything just for my health back!"

When im sick, this thought just keep swirling in my mind. Don't you?
Right now, im havin this thought again.
No, not cause im ill. No, not YET. Im feeling very weird now, as though the past illness that i had for a few times is coming back. It's uncomfortable and sucks like hell. I dun wan it to come back!
So the sudden thought of payin anything just for a healthy body flashed through my mind moments ago.

Arg.... i seriously pray. Please illness, don't come back and find me. -Cries-

That illness, it will simply bugs me for weeks. And u just feel like dying, or just cut that body part away so that u won't feel anything at all. It's as though its coming back, and i m very VERY scared. =(
Ahmitabah, may wadever god or goddess protect me. =((
Dont make me go through hell when im so carefree now. Please, no.

Ok, so i have sth to look forward to, (or maybe not) this week. And hopes everything goes pleasant.
Gah, i just feels dead right now, dunno wad to do with my life. I feel..... lost.

Okok, im spouting nonsense already. Maybe i should just go to sleep. Cause it's like 5.45AM right now. ( !! )
ok panic! i should be in bed cause i have to get up at 10 tmr- no, i mean today. Oh god.
Ok, zao now.
BYE.

2009-08-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

Yay!

Finally! Blogger can finally finally upload pictures today.. Well, for today la..
Duno when will blogger cock up again.

Ok, so i'll roughly describe my week after that sakake buffet thing..

B4 that, yea, editing hobby came back lar.. hahaha..
I actually used somebody's phone to zi lian coz jh wanted me to take my own shots .. for dunno wad purposes.. XD..
Nah, its a secret..
Anyway, u know wad. I've admitted i hardly do any zi lian-ing and i guess nobody believed me about that. Coz previously i've also did some editing. But that's just some pics that i tried takin just for the sake of editing.

So as i was making attempts to make a good shot, and kinda noob, whereby jh and dear chad had to keep on makin comments about it. D=
Chad just told me to go find somebody like erhem to learn how to zi lian. No comments lor. i also not that terrible wad. Then jh even wanted to help me take. D= Humph, small see me.
Anyway, i finally took some good shots and ... just wanted to do editing .. as simple as that.

(Omg, i just realise i can resize the pictures right here while i m doing the posting.. I din no sia.. D= Noob. )

Oh god, i really need go for some haircut.. My hair is getting more and more ridiculous. I just feel like im wearing a hair that look like hot hair balloon. Puff up like really ugly.. Seriously gonna take that down. And.. my tail is gettin toooooo thin and long.. gonna cut that also. Maybe for about 4-5 inches.. Hmmm, wadya think? Or maybe get a total new haircut, whereby can shock my dear frens..
Haha, well see eh? Gonna cut this few days. or maybe this few weeks.. I dunno. :/

Ok song intro again.
This song, maybe u guys have heard it. I've been wanting to find this song since dunno when. And i finally found it coz i saw it from msn.. where by u can check wad ur frens are listening to. So i was curious and search for this song.

Starlight Tears- Kim Yu Kyung

And another song. ( sorry, all korean. I dun have a big craze over koreans songs, just happen to come across them. :/ ) Well, doesnt matter if u heard of it b4.

Vanilla love - Lee Hyun Ji Ft. SHINee(Onew)

It's nice. Like some audition game song or sth like that.
Very sweet luh. So intro to you guys and spread the loveeeeee.. XDXD
And the girl cute seh. Haha..

Ok.. so.. the next few days after the sakae buffet, went sch zuo bo nia. Nth to do lor.. go there play games... Miniclips rather. D= How sian can it get. Haha, while ppl are mugging, im there playing games, heng nobody come hoot me. Heh..

So the next saturday went for another buffet. Yuki Yaki buffet. Whooohoooo~!
Since that day yijing intro me, i've been cravin for the dory fish there. Effing nice.. Seriously went there for the sake of sweet sauce dory fish and DIY ice cream. Whoohoo..
So i went with jh, and tried intro-ing him dory fish also.
Teppenyaki (isit spelt liddat?) buffet is no bad.. Thumbs up for it.. will wan to go back. Uh, Im already cravin for the dory fish.. :/ Hungry~

Like sakae buffet, this time i also eat until damn full. XDXD
However the steamboat there is no good. :/ I hate their steamboat.

Jh makin the DIY ice cream.

Tried wad i've done last time with Yijing, makin our names with the ice cream. FL & JH.
Erhem, nth to be alarm about. Relax guys..

I din no how to make a real nice ice cream last time.. only no how to make it flat. So this time i tried stirring it. Making it soft and look like ice cream. Seriously, do it this way is better, or not it will taste weird when it's flat when not doing any stirring or mashing.

Yay~ go for it another day. =)

Then after that buffet went to plaza sing and watch WHERE GOT GHOST with JT and YQ.
Haha, if u dun understand hokkien maybe dun watch, coz u wont find it hilarious. Anyway, it no bad. =)

Im going for another buffet next sat. Tell me that im crazy, going for a buffet once a week. Heee.. Next week shall be Sakura. Anybody in for it? XD
Hmm, im also hunting for new bags. Any good recommendation? Nice nice 2 zips kind of bags? With budget around 40 bucks. No more than that, im pretty poor nowadays.. Hahaha..

EDIT// Ok, there's this things i need to clear. Particularly about 3D assignment.
Those ppl who feels that i dun deserve an A coz "somebody" helped me out with it, and finding it not fair. Hello? For heaven sake, that assignment i've done it with my own pair of hands, from the start till end... Yes, "somebody" guided me with it, so? Wad, u're telling me u did it all by urself without needing to consult anybody? I dunno, maybe u really did it urself, but i dun think there's anything wrong with guidance. I NV allowed him to do everything for me. I even stop him from doing as i wanted to do it myself. So I've nothing to be ashame of coz i knew i've done more than 95% of it. If u r not happy just go ahead and tell teacher that i dun deserve it.
Mother eff, even teacher doubt me about it. So i have to prove it la? Ok then. Try me, I can model exactly the same thing out without anybody helping this time. Idiots.
( Not aiming at anybody, if u feel angry with this paragraph, then u're guilty of thinking this way. Then maybe we need to talk. If not, then stop assuming. )

Ok.
It's holiday now! And im enjoying myself..
Pls, dun let time fly so fast.
Till here.
Tata~

Am I missing out things recently?
I feel that I am.
But..

what?

Him?

2009-08-24T04:26:00.000+08:00

Pissed.
Can't seems to upload photos up in blogger.
Both browser feels like shit.
Even to the extend to tryin safari, even shitter.
Oh tell me wad the hell is wrong with blogger, or even the internet.
:/
Even facebook is kicking shit. Though i dun use much of it.
I cant upload photos in blogger.
Arg, nvm... shall do posting next time.. if blogger isnt any where lookin and feeling so shit.
Blahh..

BYE.

2009-08-20T02:14:00.000+08:00

Hais

Utterly, totally, super, uber, very, terribly disappointed with myself.

Maybe, somehow, somewhat, could be that I am not cut out for my course afterall.

Thought I've chosen a course that suits, and i can survive, or maybe even strive in it.

Eventually, it just struck to me that, I'm just useless. So useless, so not for it.

Hard work pays off. To hell with this sentence. Hard work doesn't pays off.

This is the fucking second time i get so disappointed.

I dun blame anybody, I'm the one at fault. I should blame myself. I'm not what i thought i had in me. I'm not really good, no potential at all to strive for it. So maybe I'm wrong. So maybe DDM wasnt my idealist course at all. Maybe I just suit the mugging of textbooks and lifeless constant memorising of books and knowledge. Maybe that's how my life should be. Maybe......

Maybe poly isnt my thing at all.

Not that I deserve it, no. Not that I thought I was that good, no. Sometimes, I just hope the time and energy and focus and every crap that i put in pays off. Apparently, things doesnt go this way. So no point working so hard eh?

Oh god.

I dunno, I'm still not prepared for the worst.

I just feel disappointed.

Why does things have to go this way?

Ugh, fuck it.

NB, hais.

I just dun get what i deserve. Or maybe i dun deserve anything at all.

Right now, i dunno what keeps me going. I have exactly no idea what is it in life that keeps me going already.

Lost. Lifeless. Nothing.

Different perception of things and ways. That isnt the console that i want.

We dun look at the same things, and treat matters differently.

So now u know why.

2009-08-18T18:21:00.000+08:00

Revive. =)

YOYOYO!
Heylo, my prettae readers!

I'm back once again. Coz i've made promises to revive my blog . And since its the holiday(self-declare), and i have nothing to do, and not so emo already, and free, so i decide to come back.

=.= Blogger looks screwed in firefox, when i tot blogger was down. So i tot i have the excuse not to blog, when i found out ff was the cause for that, and not blogger. Well, then, i really dunno where FF rocks, in any way. Mislead me when i wanted to post. Had use IE. I dunno how to make IE default window leh. Lazy to check also.

Anyway.... I've lost the bloggin interest after not bloggin for soo long. Was squeezing my brain juice to think of sth to blog about moments ago.

Ok, so we FINALLY done with that effing vaf module. No more of that, no more.
Shall publish my b-e-a-u-tiful work when i post it up in youtube. If i even bother to. =D

Anyway, shall talk about my outing on sat right after the last assignments. Woohoo! It's time for celebration man. Yea, just simply started binging food at sakae buffet. WOOTS MAN! Its been so long since i had buffet. And it's been around 10 years? since i last had Sakae. Finally a day gotten myself real full, to the entent of even stuffing one more sushi can make me puke anytime. Too much already. But I've eaten my full, and im happy about that.

Ohyes, forgot to mention who i went with. Went with JT, Peilin, YuQin and JunHao. Shall go out again yea? Ok, silence means consent, i'll take it as a yes. XD

Anway, after binging food for whole 3 hours in Sakae at raffles, from 12 to 3pm, we went to cine to catch Orphan. Damn nice sia. Nice story plot. All i can say is that the make up artist damn power, can make an 9 year old girl look sooooo much older. Make ppl feels that she looks like a 30 plus woman. Anyway, thumbs up for that movie. Made me scream even when i tried controlling myself. Dots. Hahaha. Nice and thrilling. Anyway, catch it if u haven.

Then after that went ION. First time going there.. get to no there's ION such place thru blogs few weeks ago. Since then have been thinkin of going there. Well, nth amazing, not quite for youngsters like us. Nv been to the higher floors, coz no point. See the things there only make eyes pop out nia. The price is enough to make ppl feel bankrupt. Hang around, and tried finding place for dinner. Eventually, its a saturday for heaven sake, and that place is new. So it was holy full of ppl.

In the end, ppl pangseh-ed me and jh wor. Some ppl uh...
Hahaha, no la.. all decide to go home and have dinner. Left me and jh. So we walked BACK to cine . =.= Leg pain uh. So me and jh decide to eat at pastamania. And then we went home.

Yep, that's all about it. I've had my fun after all those stress and tension that we had for the entire few weeks. I almost thought we couldnt hand in assignments on time, coz the duedate for each of them is totally ridiculous. Almost everybody had to at stay up one whole night to finish them. Urk. Hey, though we have assignments, we have got no exam. So we got extra few weeks oh holidays. Around 2 months i think. Gambate for those who r mugging.

I want to go shopping! Hais, where have my close shoppers gone to. Wait, there isnt any.
Hais.. so im suppose to go shopping on my own? Aww~ so sad.
I am in need of bags and clothing and.. alot.... Cause I've been wearing that SP tee for the months. I really needa go shopping. Hasn't been shopping for quite a while. Since.... I forget le..

And i think i needa change my habit of eatin too much. I must train myself to cut back to original, correct, normal, suppose-to-have de amount. Eating too much doesnt do me good. Although i started eatin so much all cause of stress and temptation. Arg! I should reduce my appetite. I should, yes i should.
Nah, i still wan to go buffet binging. D=
No no no.. a few more of buffet then i'll start to train yea? :/

Hmm...
Tell me wad to post now, cause i have absolutely no topic to talk.

不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有.
从来都不同意这句话. 现在突然觉得这句话有多么的真实.
一开始, 谁不希望能够天长地久? 谁会不希望能够维持到老?
但是你从来都没得过的东西, 怎么天长地久?

仅有的回忆, 就只能活在这些仅有的回忆. 根本就不足够。因为只剩下这些回忆，当你想多想想和他有过的过去，才发现拥有的回忆那么的少，这时才会渴望自己曾经拥有过他。这样一来有他的回忆，是不是会多一点？而且还会因为曾经拥有过他而感到欣慰。因为你有过他和别人没有过的回忆。因为你曾经拥有。

虽然失去了，但是曾经拥有。
虽然结束了，但你曾经拥有。
虽然结果并不如你所愿，但是你曾经拥有过。
要懂得知足，即使回忆再少。
因为在现实生活，不是什么都能拥有。即使你有多么的努力。

你同意吗？

现在，很渴望这曾经拥有。
要是曾经拥有过，结局会不会不一样？

Even if things dun last, but u once had the chance to have it, wont it be better?
Or maybe not.
Well, it depends.

Anyway, thats about it.
Shall think of wad to post in the later days.
=)
Miss meeeeee....
BYE.

I'm so happy that u added me.
Even if ppl feels that it's no big deal,

but they never know, how much it meant to me.
I thought u will never add.
I even thought it would be a miracle if u add.
Now that u've added, it simply means a miracle had just happen on me.
And im soooooo happy about it.
Even if it was just a mere addition to ur list.
I'm happy that i even matters to you.
I really do.
And I'm proud,
proud to be in ur list.
=)

P.S.
Pls dun emo after reading this post.
Dun emo pls. =(

2009-08-15T09:36:00.000+08:00

Wait for meee, I'm coming backkkkk!
=D

2009-08-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

The End.

Hey, peeps.
I'm officially declaring of closing this blog and never to blog again.
I've decided not to blog, for the time being though.
But I'm still leaving this blog open, haha, maybe to look back to the days of my life.
Or maybe if u miss me, XD, u can leave a tag.

Don't feel surprise. I don't see any reason to blog again.

I need anger/ stress/ emotion management or wadever it is.
I think i even need weekly counselling or sth.
The stress is leaving me no choice, i dunno what to do with myself anymore.
I'm very stress and tired. I dunno when i'll fall.

Tears just keep coming when I'm typing this. I hope I'm not suffering from any mental disorder or sth.

Why things just doesnt go the way i want?
Why isnt things going smoothly at all?
Why can't i just take up the challange and face them all?
What. Do. I. Want?

Why I dun have the support when i need it?

Why do i feel like I'm gonna fail myself this few days?
Why do i feel like i'm fighting on my own?
Why do i feel like I'm doing vaf all on my own?
Why do i feel that seniors from daiko doesn't bother with my request?
Why do i feel that people doesn't want to help you and let u die when i needed their help badly?
Why are they so mean?

And why, ppl can live their life so differently?

My tears aren't stopping yet.
I need to calm myself down.

Though i'll miss it, I'm not gonna blog anymore.
Maybe i'll just bottle up whatever feeling until one day i cannot stand it anymore and just....
I dunno.
Blah.
Bye peepo. Miss my blog =D

A last message for you,
whatever it is, i hope you'll still remember me.
And i hope very soon i'll be able to let go of my feelings,
if thats wad fate wants me to do.
I hope this shall be the last tears for you.

2009-08-01T20:38:00.000+08:00

A Chain

Yoyoyo. I'm back.
And, WEEE! Finally, the sucky blogger allow us to upload pictures again.
So i can fill my blog with pic besides chunk and chunks of wordddsssss.

So yesterday, finally handed in my 3D assignment.
One assignment down. 6 more to go.
Sibei sian.
Eventually able to get in time and imba-ly finished one phone model which supposely should take days. However, the one that i did last min and took only one day, wasnt perfectly done. There are mistakes which can be spot instantly. So right now im kinda worried. Hais, wad to do? Hand in ler. In the morning while i went back to see my model, i found out the mistakes and got kinda panic. But bo bian. Hope teacher pa jiao, cannot see. XD

Familliar?? Heh heh, yeaa, my handphone.
This took me a week plus i guess.
Think too bright, some lines and shadow coudnt be seen. Hais, so much for modellin until so
accurate. Heng teacher gonna inspect with the real file, and not by this pictures. If not will fail uh.

Ok, so this is ice cream phone.
The one which i manage to chiong in one day, 9 hours. I had to get up at 7am ytd just to start this model. Wa piang eh, almost died sia. And this caused me to coma for a total 14 hours just to get back my beauty sleep.

And this is the phone that has mistakes. Hais.
Although its imperfect, still, im very much satisfied with my work. Never knew i had such potential to create 3D model. Tot i really cannot make it sia, since i dun have interest in 3D.
I love my models! Its the first time my model look like a thing. In the past look more like crap. D=

And have to specially thanks JH.
Thanks for always being there to help when i encounter problems with 3D. Thanks for helping me chiong without complaints ytd also. Though i knew the reason y u help without asking for return. Still i wanna thankew. If not i wont be able to complete at all uh. =D Thanks so much. Dun blame urself ler. Not ur fault anyway. I din check also. Hahahaha..

Oh, always wanted to post this.
Take a look. LG GD900 Crystal.

http://www.josephcs.com/blog/gadgets/ubercool-lg-gd900-crystal-mobile/

Have you guys seen this phone around in sg? Have you?????
I WANT!!!! >.<
Its like so effing cool to have the keypad TRANSPARENT.
Waliew, bet it cost a bomb.
Tell me that u have seen it. Tell me its already is sg. Waaaa~
Nice nice! I wannnnttt~~~

~

Been lack of sleep for the entire week all thanks to 3D.
So tired la. Anytime can faint ytd while go back home sia. Already my limit le. Then on com for less than 15 min i was sleeping on my chair liao. XD

So this week, i have 3 assignments to chiong again.
Hais, stress... stress..... -Sweat-

I needa break right now. i wan to go out shoppin watch movie have fun anything! So long as assignment this thing is outta my head.
Oh yes, and i need a MP3. My phone which only has 512 mb, is shit. Wadda hell, can put how many shit inside? Cannot update songs sia. If wants to i must delete in order to put in new de. Im tired of doing that already and now my songs is like so sian. Everyday hear same thing. Someday, i really have to get a MP3.
Ahh, buy memory card also can. =D

Hmm, after that dream thing, for the 2 consecutive days, i dreamt of HIM . Ohohohoho!
Song bo. Finally can see him in my dream. And those were really weird dream i've dreamt of him. I never dream of anything proper enough. D=
So i can only recall roughly was that, its was around night time at a very open space. He waited for me just to ask sth about hair stuff.
D= RANDOM!
And the day after, which is today, i dream about we havin a class outing or sth. Woo, both 2e5 and 4e5 peeps were there. And our class were playin in those childplay area. Ok random again.

Ahh, nothing much. Have to chiong assignment again. Oh shoot, VAF is still left undone. Holy cow. -panic panic-
Oh noes, wad to do wad to do. MATES, WHERE ARE YOU?? Y arent u ppl online?! We needa discuss already!!! D=

Ugh, MORE STRESS.
VAF sucksss.

~
Its not so good when u have ppl teasing u ALL the time. Its gettin way out of hand and i dislike havin to deny thing that aren't true. Guys, know when to stop. Its pissing me off. Once in a while i dun mind. Its been too over this few days.
When u see the changes in my face, just shut. I can show that im ok very well when im not.

We've crossed the line.
I should stop.
Love is not a thing where u can get soft hearted.
But i no i can't do it.
Dont't blame me. I'm sorry.

Still waiting for a chance.
Cause you really mean alot to me.

2009-07-30T08:59:00.000+08:00

A dream, never in reality.

Before waking up today, i had a dream.
After i woke up, i felt protected.
It was a sweet, sweet dream.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, leading the way, watchin out the path for me.
He never let it go,
Neither did I.
His big hand, felt like a shield.
It was more than enough to make me calm, and make me feel protected.
It felt really sweet.
Only after we stop and let go, then did my dream stop, and i woke up.

And hence, i woke up feeling damn sweet, and sad at the same time.
Although i was like, late for class... (hahaha) i nv really felt panicky. Cause i was still drown in the moment of sweetness.
I broke my record again, this time i was late for 45 min. D=
Late for class, in return for a nice NICE dream.
You ppl might be curious who is the person eh? Hahaha.
Well, sad thing is, it wasn't HIM though. No it wasnt.

Hais, im seriously half dead now, im lackin so much sleep! D=
i slept at 4plus, woke up at 6am, slept back at 6.30am and woke up at 7,45am again.
Yes, THAT was my sleep. Walao, cui liao.
Hmm, have been so busy chionging assignments, so nv really bother how my life's been this entire week.
Seriously, go sch do nothing de. Some lesson u just sit there and do ur assignment.
Good thing is, being so irritated everytime there's lesson, now that we can do own things, im feeling less frustrated now.
However, it's basically just wasting my time in sch when i can stay at home and do it and can have ample time for my beauty sleep.
NB la. Waste time.

Well, that's the thing about my course.
Although we have hell lots of assignments, we are kinda slack. Its like around 2 weeks without lesson now, just go sch mark attendence nia, and chiong assignments.
Though those shitty assignments really sucked like dunno wad, I'm actually doing something that i like.
The stress come from the deadlines and gradings, not the assignment itself.

Hmm, i dunno y m i saying this, just to fill up this post i suppose. Hahahahaha... ^^

Ok, maybe im sayin this cause, im going to rant again.
Nb, cb. VAF is screwing my life all over again. I have to effing undergo that effing VAF AGAIN!
Oh god.
Ytd had a slight discussion, in the end, we're back to the square one. No idea, no nothing.
Bloody hell. Life sucks big time. And nobody is doing anything at all. We should all die.
Hais, wad to do wad to do. Die lor. All hug and jump down together.
=.=

Eh,
Hmmm,
Ok, that's about it.
Shall zao now.
BYE.

Time really heals.
Am i changing direction already?
I know i still miss you.
I really do.

2009-07-28T00:05:00.001+08:00

Take take take take away my links ppl!!!
TAKE IT AWAY.

The number of ppl coming to my blog is horribly increasing without me knowing.
=.=
Shoot man, before i get to know new frens, take them away.
Especially Ferguson Loy.
I underestimated ur blog..
D=

2009-07-27T08:40:00.000+08:00

Crap, STRESS!!! >.<

Finally!
Dear sucky blogger is working.

Relax, this time its gonna be a short post. Cause i got a feeling that less than half of my readers bothers to read my previous post. Mwahahahaha.
Well, not that it bothers me. Its for myself to read. But at least, should keep this blog readable and not long and boring.
It'll be quite shockin to know if any siao gin na reads that post.

Anyway, get to know another band. Not new, DUH, im rather outdated over korean bands and dun go gaga over them. Its the songs that interest me.

Luv U by Battle.

Well, the opening is interesting.

And the song is effing nice.

Eh, i dunno. Intro songs just for the sake of makin my blog look interesting.

Mwuahahahaha.

No la, and let ppl no what kind of song im listening to right now. =)

Damn, stress is killing me.

To the extend of starin at the screen feeling so panic, not knowing wad to do. And i cannot eat my meals in peace.

Rather, i din have much appetite. At that moment i just hope that i won go hungry forever. So that i can continue my assignments without having to waste even 15minutes eating my food.

While eating i was like "Swallow faster. No time no time!" And continue munchin and swallowing my food with that thinking. I even feel panic while eatin food. Isn't food suppose to be my heaven that can release my stress? D=

Assignment is torturing meee... Gahhhhh.

Just make the whole week a holiday, and i shall camp in front of my latop and finish half of my assignments. I promise.

Like there's even a possibility liddat.

In conclusion, this few weeks im gonna be damn busy with my assignments.

Yea. Short enough.

Ok, shall zao.

BYE.

I still remember the times,

while bading goodbyes,

the gentle pats u gave me.

I would flush like nobody's business.

And feel damn happy for the entire day.

Dunno, What, To, Say.

I, Miss, You, Badly.

2009-07-24T22:59:00.000+08:00

Am I asking too much?

Ok, finally last day of sch. Fhew~ I mean last day of the week la. Hahahaha...
Today had VAF pitching. NB, CB. Seriously hate jennifer Ang like some shit. Effing disappointed with myself after she gave some crap comments.
One day if i really cannot tahan anymore, i'll just stangle her to death. I mean it. Fuck la. Tsk.
In conclusion, i have no connection with VAF (Video and Audio Fundamentals). I thinkin second assignment is gonna turn out real bad. Neither does CG(Computer Generated Effects) has any destiny with me. Nv in my life am i gonna choose that. I hope. I'm not that suicidal.

So i recently realise alot of ppl suddenly went back to blogging. Dunno wad motivation they've got, started to create blog and went back to blogging. Right now, there's like 2-3 ppl having new blog. When they actually haven't start blogging for like more than 6 months or even a year.

So this week... hmm, have been wasting my damn life going to sch listening to nothing at all. Most of the classes dun have lesson going on as the lecturers simply gave us the time to do our assignment. Like wad the fuck? Give us the time to do at home will be more efficient la! Like we will do them in class like that. Cannot concentrate sia.
And the thought of assignment, walao, just let me die la. Due date is like next week and im here slacking away. Simply dun wanna touch on it at all.
Everyday im stressin all thanks to those fuckin assignment. Screw assignments. Screw them.

Yes, i definately have to say something about that effing DDM Bonding Day that happen on wednesday at 3.30pm in SP indoor sports hall.
In the first place, i nv had good feeling about going there at all. Its a torture for me like i said in the previous post. Eventually it really came out bad, worst that i thought.
Ok, i nv really like camps games. No, i HATE camp games. Hate it deep down to the core. I nv like any games with forfeit.
So the ice breakin game we played, Concentration, has got forfeit. Till the very very end, last person to get the forfeit, WAS ME. Crap! So, since other group has got 3 ppl up in the middle doing their forfeit, our group leader told my group of forfeit-ers, to go join them. Immediately, i flash one of the group leader, BRYAN, a message through his eyes, beggin him not to do that to me. Then his mouth simply spit out the words "Just go." to me. And my face just turned from red to white. MOTHER FUCK, can't he understand how i felt? I was effing beggin him not to and he couldn't be bothered at all. Thanks uh, i will fucking remember wad u did to me.
Ok, so i not gonna be a loser, just go up and finish wadever crap that we were going to do, havin the thought of doom already.

Found out we were suppose to do the banana dance. Is that wad it's called? I dunno, I was busy calming myself down and hence couldn't give a damn about wad Dave was talkin about.
I had a tough time standing down there. Felt like digging a hole and hide myself or just use a brick and knock myself out. Presentation is one of my biggest phobia, I couldn't stand standing infront of a crowd to present. So u telling me to stand in front of that crowd to do a forfeit, is the same as forcing a person with height phobia to stand at the 90th level and look down.
Worst thing is, i had 4 camera right in front of the forfeit-ers. Fuck, goddamn it. If i had the strength to stand properly, i would have went over and smash the fucking camera into pieces and slap all four of them real hard. BTW, guys, u know wad? Among the 5 person, I, FENG LING was the ONLY girl there. Wadda hell? Triple kill sia.

And cause i nv actually did the action, when Dave ask the entire ppl if everybody got do anot, NB CB KNNBCCB CNMDCP, the entire floor said no. Man, if i had got an atomic bomb on my hand, i would have bomb the entire hall down.
Heng, Dave was kind enough, let me go. Even if he knew I din do the action at all.
I effing felt humiliated after i went back. Like i made a fool out of myself. And i was feeling very terrible throughout the entire event. I was eventually using my finger nails to slice my own fingers real hard. If u know me enough, u would know how long my nails will always grow. Besides rubbing my nails against my flesh, i did sth like grabbin my t shirt like those ppl who will grab other parties when they are havin a fight. Thank god it din rip or wad. And i clenched my fist real hard, doing all this just to make myself calm down and swallow back all my tears. I think i was shivering too. But i was too busy to take note of that. Wanted to run to the toilet to cry my heart out, at least i will feel better, but i din wan to move at all, rather push all the emotions back and tolerate. Tot i will be fine after a while. But i wasn't.

While havin captain's ball, my expression obviously gave myself away. I was lookin so emo and sad. Many ppl came over to me and ask if im alright. I had to force and smile at them.
While sitting down alone and stone, my tears came every min and i have to swallow back. I tot nobody saw it. Ben came over and ask if im alright. And that idiot, told me if he should get JH over. Even if i told him not to, he still went to get him in the end. Wadda hell?! That idiot, BAKA!

Only after JH came over and ask, and i finally spoke out, and half way through i broke out.
Crying really helps to release the emotions that is bottling up. So sometimes, just let the person cry themselves out, maybe after cryin everything out, they will feel better.
Nv get to thanks JH for being there when im havin a tough time. And thanks that BAKA for baotoh-ing me. =.=
Feeling so down at the wrong time at the wrong place. And it din went well as i expected. Hais.
So i had another bad experience that will follow me till im old. Craved down deeply onto my heart and leavin a scar. bad experience. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, sth in facebook i did stunned/shock/surprise/LOL-ed me entirely.
Those who know it will definately laugh at it.
Take a look. Enlarge it.

Yea, if u know wads going on, u will laugh.
Bloody hell, now i confirm to u ppl that facebook application or wadever shit quiz r bullshitting. Dun ever believe it.
The next second when it appear, i almost get a shock of my life. Something is definately wrong with facebook. D=

Done, quit laughing!

So i had an effing chunk of assignments waiting for me.
Bloody hell, when i had the urge to go relax myself in town, catch a movie or sth, fuckin sch just doesnt allow me to. They love pilin assignment on us. And my back felt heavier each time, each day. Seriously, im gonna go crazy one day all thanks to assignments.

(ok, up till here i went to sleep, so shall cont. this the next day.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, now i can cont. Eh, i did the previous post in a sub conscious mood, so i dunno if i said any rubbish. Pardon for that.
Hmm, where was i?
Aiyah, anything la. Just cont with the main point now. (yea, the first part was rubbish, sorry for wasting 5 min of ur life. XD)

Ytd was suppose to go for a celebration for Leo. Well, in the end when i look into the clubroom, nb, machiam traffic jam lar. Even if the cake arrive, there won be any left for us. well, me, to be specific. And also, there are so many ppl there, enough for a big celebration, so i thought i wasnt needed anymore so i went away feeling sian diao. Leo is 大人物. Seriously the number of ppl there exceed 20 i guess? I stand there nv stand there makes no diff, so zao first. Haha. And who realised it? Only my dear JT. T.T
Will nv want to celebrate if too many ppl are there. I bet if even im there, leo wont even rmb.
So i shall 默默的 wish him a HAPPY 19th BURSTDAY LEO!!!

Anyway, after we left, wanted to wait for leo to come back so that i can at least wish him happy bday personally. In the end also nv. T_T
However after that JH help me do something. After knowing that sth, i was hurriedly dragged by him to spgg. =.=
Seriously feeling damn 莫名其妙 at that instant. Half 莫名其妙 and half kena drag de situation we arrived at spgg. In the end cannot go in. =.=
HENG UH!!
I never really wan to see him now. Cause it will take me another 1 month to stop thinkin him every sec and min. Although i miss him badly. Real badly.
So happily, i drag JH away from that place, and decides to go home. On the way, he met someone walkin towards MRT also. And after asking, we get to know that HE NV GO AT ALL! =.= However, dunno y, i was effing relieved. Maybe it's another excuse not to see him, or maybe, by knowing his bo chap character, will definately pon as much as he can. So he din change much? Still the way he is?
I dunno, just giving more excuses to lie to myself. I really deserve a slap.

Anway, that was my progress up till ytd.
Blogging seems like a compulsory assignment i have to do daily now. =.=
Nv thought i have to stress myself to update also. Haha.
Dun blame me if i nv update, cozzzzz..... I've got effing no time.
7 assignments already? O.o
SEVEN?!?! My whole 7 modules has got assignment! Screw them, eff them. =(((
Shall zao now.
BYE.

I dunno y, u manage to torture me without even doing anything at all. Up till now u wont even no a shit, happily living ur life when there's sb out there thinking of you. Bet u will feel ridiculous if u manage to find out about this. And might even think that im sick or wadever. Cause im finding myself ridiculous enough, seriously.
I dunno wad to say. If we have the fate to meet again, i wont hesitate to say. I wont wan to create chances just to see you. Cause i know there's no point going against fate if we arent meant to be. Shall see how my future goes. Shall see how long i can love you.

When i gave u simple pats then, i was feelin all so sad. Can feel the churning saddness in my heart. I dunno if the saddness reached you through the pats.
I pointed out the word to you, you saw it, and ur face changed. I knew u were hurt again.
When i first saw that word, my mind directed to you, without thinkin, i showed you. Wrong steps i suppose? Disrupting ur emotions all of a sudden.
I wrote the word on your hand, it meant so much. So much that i wanted to say to you. Dunno if u realised it. Then, it was then, the word best describes me about how i felt.
Y i couldnt accept? Difference in character? Character place a big part upon who i choose. We r the ones who love, more than being love.
He's the one that stops me. Or maybe not.
Or maybe, I will learn wad to treasure when i lost it? :/
All i can say that I've appreciated it sooo much. I thank you for wad u did ytd. From the bottom of my heart.
=)

2009-07-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

Should have been more cruel eh?

Went to dan's blog and found out a another band besides Xing.
FT Island. Damn! All their song are effing nice! I simply love those dramatic music ! Ahh, they are just too good and have those songs that i really like..
In just a one day i can download so many of their songs. More that 10 already i suppose?
Anyway, if u find all their songs nice, yea man! we're the same species! XDXD

Anyway, this is one of a short video.
Very very sad. Its nice also. Watch it if u have the time.

Sad ending.=(
Damn them. Y ending must be so sad.

Another sad MV, well nicer also. The song is damn nice.
Heaven by FT Island.

JaeJin.... JAEJIN!!! Ahhhh!!!! That guy is CUTE !!!
He's effing cute when he um chio-ed.
Overall, a damn sad and a nice video, plus that song... YEA. Powerful!
Effing nice!!! =DDDDDD
But, walao eh, y make until so sad sia.. =(

All thanks to Dan! Then am i able to find such nice band, which such nice songs.
So i wont have to listen to those past song repeatedly until i damn sian liao.

Since its a band, therefore it might be songs that u ppl wont prefer.
Nvm, diff interest.

So if u have been disagreeing with me since the start of the post, then dun need continue anymore. Hahaha, coz its mostly about this band today. Woo! FT Island rocks.

This song is one of the most i like. Very VERY dramatic.
Love sick by FT Island.

Another song that i like alot.
After love by FT Island.

There's so many nice song from this band. Darn nice uh.

The one Dan intro in his blog... I Hope by them, is also damn nice.
Hais, wonder how many share the same taste as me. Couldn't find anybody to share song or to get song from them when i wanted to.... =(
I can only share it on my blog. Boohooooo~

Anyway,
uh...
dunno wad else to say?
Cuz, nothing happen for the few days?
Hahaha.

Have DDM Bonding day later.
And i fuckin dread it.
"Blow wind blow" Tsk. To hell with this.
Not that im makin things tough for ppl.
Everytime i play such games i will feel effing uncomfortable.
Anti social ppl ARE like that. Its a challenge and a fuck torture for them to undergo these games.
Thats y i HATE camps. Coz camps have such eff-ed game i have to suffer. Tsk. Who the hell make DDM bonding day compulsory. I'll hack that person to death. Argh!
Y do we have to play games with strangers i dunno?
tsk... sians.

Fine. Shall endure the procedure and report the process if i can.
Shall Zao liao.

Hais.
Missed you so badly.
Dun even no how u r doing.
Can't even get to no if u have a gf already or not.
These question just circle around me whenever i think of you.
Y haven u come online for so long? It's almost half a month.
Been teased that im despo. Hah, assholes.
Hurt so much when I've been describe as that.
But I really like you, and cannot help but to talk about u in the blog.
There's a problem with noting down my thoughts?
I dunno wad's wrong with those ppl?
Despo..? Hmm, i'll endure this word for now. For you i can.

Someday i hope, there will be a time where u'll know that a girl somewhere near you, have been loving u more than anything. And hope you'll appreciate and understand it.

I dunno wad i should do.
I've gotten u into the wrong path.
I have.
I nv want to see you sad.
You dun deserve this.

2009-07-19T03:32:00.000+08:00

Hmmm..
Added more blog songs.
Thinkin of changing the first blog song, but well, couldnt really find one better one. Cause have been very out of date this few weeks. Never go update myself on those new songs.
Some of the songs u might have heard of.. well, song u might not, coz found out only today.

Realise theres one more band called XING besides all those DBSK, SNSD, Super junior and all that.
Hmm.. not very famous i suppose?
Well, anyway, they are great. At least they sing properly. And, their songs are nice!

This is the best song i've listen to amongst the other songs Xing had.

Well, if u like Asuwa kuru kara by DBSK... then this song is gonna be sth like that.
In your hands by Xing

To me, its not bad la. Though i dun quite like slow song, but still acceptable.

Then another slow song.
How by Xing.

If u like Happiness by Super Junior, then maybe u'll like this song too.
My girl by Xing

Anyway, its a effing tiring, irritating, sucky, anxious, bad week i had.
Since sch start, its the first time i had to wait for 4-5 trains in the morning in order to board a less empty train.
Around 4 trains! Mother fuck, i was on time at first one sia. Bloody hell, in the end late for 20 mins liddat. I really hate morning peak hours. Not only i will always get disgusted by how kiasu singaporean board train, i have to endure it throughout the whole journey. Tsk. Always feel like slapping those kiasu ppl. Annoying...
And coz of that, i have to encounter another effing bad experience that i once had got a hard time trying to forget and get over with. Wadda hell. Bloody eff-ers.

And also, stupid assignments.
DVDE, CRS, IDEA, VAF.
It was an easy breeze for DVDE and CRS.
However, had a hard time dealing with IDEA and VAF.

Rushed and did a rather bad presentation for IDEA. Hais. Can't be helped also. Coz at the same time had to deal with VAF which had the same day for deadline.
VAF is the most fuckin annoying piece of shit i had to deal with the entire week or rather, amongst all the assignment i did b4.
Bloody hell, premiere pro sucked like wad la. Last min realise cannot do rendering, i almost nearly gave up on the video sia. Thursday, i was nearly on the verge on giving up. Thinking of just failing that assignment or sth. I tried my best already. When i fuckin found out cannot render the video, and while we tested if encoding is another alternative, both rendering and encodin loves to give us problem. Just effing dun wanna work.
On thurs I already reached my limits. the next day we needa present and yet that bloody video couldnt be exported completely. Just wadda hell is wrong with premiere pro? Our group offended it isit. Much more harder to figure out that thing than women la. Tsk.
I was thinking it's over for vaf. If the problem still persist, there was a huge possibility we can flunk that module. And i even confirmed myself that we can't make it.

Friday.
Although i though it's over for VAF. I thought that maybe i could still give it a last try. Cause it wasnt only my assignment. Theres still 2 ppl in this group who needa pass the module. Cannot give up just like that.
When it was our turn to present, our video was still half way exporting.

My mood drastically increased. From supper shitty, super down, super anxious and frustrated, to super annoyed, and pissed and angry, and to super relieve and amused, to super happy and proud-of myself. Din no i can survive through.
Still, i wanna thanks bobby for lending us his laptop. Big credits to you. If it wasnt for his laptop at that moment of life and death, our group could be dead by then. And thanks premiere pro for not crashin for that period of time. Thank god. We're lucky. and its a miracle we are able to present and get our assignment done with. I'll be more than happy with a B for that shit work.
And heng vaf is only half a sem. I will kill myself if its gonna be year long.
We owe fuckin lots of ppl favors. Thankew thankew. If u're in trouble next time, i'll try to help wad i can too. Promise.

Get to realise that, when i'm struggling with that vaf editing for a couple of hours, how helpless i will get and feel.
And how sad, that nobody give a damn about you and let you die yourself. Tot there will be ppl there.
I thought.
Disapponted enough.

Anyway, its over. Though i can sense that there's gonna be another disastrous assignment like this coming up, i hope, its gonna go well. I hope

Assignment kills.

Another batch of assignments coming up.
CRS, 3D, DVDE, WEBP, STSB, And another fuckin VAF.
Almost ALL the modules have got assignments. =.=
My god, NEVER ENDING ISIT?!?
Walao eh. Pek cek.

Hais, no wonder my appetite has been increasing. Almost everyone knows that i eat alot, with that Tan Chee Liang adding up tryin to spread that it's because im pregnant that's why i need to eat 2 servings. Shoot him, seriously.
It must be the stress. Yes, the stress.

Had class outing ytd also. Wooooo, its been so long since i can relax and rest. Was able to cycle and have fun, breathe the breeze of the sea. Very cooling when cycling against the coming breeze. Not bad. Good to see some progress of some ppl also. Heh heh.
Never had the chance to go out with my prettae classmates. Finally had the chance. Although not much interaction, but somehow, i've enjoyed and get myself to relax after that disastrous vaf thing that almost kill my every brain cells and breaking my nervous system. Good.. good choice of day, good timing too! XD

And today woke up at 3.30pm. Its PM ok?
Broke my record again. Im seriously like a pig sia.
Neh mind. It rocks to be a pig.
Gah, long post.
Shall end with a short note.

Oh yea. I seriously miss him alot.
It's been more than 1 week since you came online? Or i've been sleepin my day away? I hardly get to see you at all. And it's even worst, when i cannot even see you coming online. You've been getting busier? Wad are you busying about? How's your life? So long since i can have some updates about you. I miss you alot.
The more days past, the more i feel hopeless. And the more helpless i get. I just feel as though i've been left half hanging there. Dunno how to move on. The more i dun get an answer, the more i cannot get over with it. And im still holding on to it. I cannot help it. Have to understand. Getting kinda desperate to find out how are you. Getting more desperate wanting to see you and talk to you. Even if i'm being treated as invisible around while u crap to ur frens, i dun mind. As long i can listen to ur voice and get to no how u r doing. I'm happy enough. Its like suddenly i've lost ur contact. I dunno how u are doing now. I want to no, badly. Dunno wad else i can do. And dunno wad else i can say? I just miss you alot. Yea, i can only throw this sentence out whenever i think of you.
I miss you.

不知是否, 我已经习惯你的存在。
我能感受你的爱, 可是我却不能回应.
只能简单的说，我喜欢你，但不爱你。
知道吗？当时，有种冲动，想抱你，靠着你一下下。
你相信不相信？
不知到是怎么了，但有种想被抱着的冲动。
阻止自己，应为我知道不应该。
被你呵护的感觉好好。因为从没的过这样的待遇。是一种奢侈。
我不否认，被呵护的感觉真的很好。
我知道你愿意，我也知道不应该。
两世界的人。不同的个性。不接受你，所以你要明白。
说了一些让你伤心的事，对不起。真的对不起。我不想让任何人受到伤害。
但我需要让你明白。
对你有种愧疚是理所当然。
也很怀疑，你心里最终希望的结果是否会实现。
只想说，不要抱着这么大的希望。我怕你失望会越大。
有些时候没推开，是因为我不懂得拒绝，我不会。
也或许，想给自己一些机会。
但是，要知道，何时适可而止。

2009-07-16T08:25:00.000+08:00

Bloody hell bloody hell bloody hell bloody hell.
Bloody hell bloody hell bloody hell bloody hell.

wtf wtf wtf wtf...
Had a traumatising journey to sch just now.
I ended up feeling so gross and disgusted.
Bloodily feel like crying. I just feel like crying.
Fuck.
Eff those fucking uncles.
EFF THEM.
Maybe i shouldnt post the incident.
But its leaving me so disgusted.
I wan to cry.
I need to speak.
And again, I've nobody to speak to.
OH MY GOD.
I just wan to cry now.
T.T

2009-07-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

Wadda hell.
Eff my sister.
Always turning on the air-con when im feeling cool enough.
Why couldn't she just let me sleep in peace for the whole night without have to wake up with a effing, serious, sucky flu. Have to tolerate and freeze myself to death each morning.
She just effing dun wan to let me sleep in peace. No wonder sometimes i couldnt get enough sleep.
Just had a quarrel with her over the aircon. =.=
She only thinks abt out herself. While i have to compromise when im feeling so uncomfortable each time. Why couldn't she just spare a thought for me some time?
Hais, got into a quarrel is aldo due to me. I dunno y.. PMS maybe? Im havin a serious PMs the fuckin whole day. Feeling so disgusted and weak and stupid and ugly...

Hais, shouldn't let my emotions take over me. But i just cant help.
Postin some pictures that happen few days ago. Our dear Sotong (ZHOU PEILIN) de burstday.
Though its abit late, still gonna wish her a HAPPY 21ST BURSTDAY PEILIN !!!!
First time wishing for 20 over person. Gotten to used to type 17th. Typed wrongly just now. XD
Ok, nothing to be proud of i no.

Hais, let the pictures talk for me.

Her nicey nicey bday cake! Long time nv eat bday cake already! =(
And yet this lucky girl, got to eat 5 different types of bday cake. Sibei envy u sia. Din manage to eat even one cake, not even once mouth.. this year, and last year, and last last year, and last last last.............
Hais. Lucky Sotong.

Yay!!!!
A prettae class photo!!!!!!!
Great! Too great already... Havin the class to stay back and take pictures is kinda impossible. So its not bad already. So many ppl give peilin face siaaaaa.... XD

This photo was asked by JT. She wanted a goodie-goodie frens photos together. =)
I give peilin face. Since its HER burstday, i shall compromise and flash my godly face to the camera.
Its rare enough ok.....

Close up close up! XD

Ok, I, aka FENG, actually REQUESTED for a photo with that sotong. Coz i tot maybe i should take at least one with her. It's a special day afterall. Keep it as a memory.
However, din expect to have to many copies in other cameras, coz some kaypohs had nothing to do and so they took it too. =.=

When it's effing rare that i wan to take photos, some ppl took the chance and wanted to take with me. Isn't the star suppose to be sotong? =.=
Anyway, i tell u. Its effing weird while takin photo with JH.
U nv know how many ppl is standing behind this camera. Almost has around 3 to 4 cameras beside each other. Wadda hell?!
And probably around 6 to 7 ppl in front of us then. Tell me how to take "naturally" ? =.=

One of the camera. Can see that theres not only one. =.=

HAHAHAHAHAHA. My expression is classic man. I love it! HAHAHAHA..
Coz i've nv seen it myself b4.. XD
Din no wad i was amused about.

Ok, post a few of the pictures nia.
Wan see others go facebook see. Theres more without me inside. If u're interested that is....

Ok, I'm seriously in a bombing mode. I'm like blastin anybody i can and feel like. I just cannot control. Effing sad and stress right not. Sorry guys if u're offended. But seriously, those mother fuckin assignments are really a bitch. They are killing me. Tmr i'm havin that fuckin CRS essay, friday im havin 2 fuckin assignment presentation, and i haven fucking give a damn right now. I haven even started any research yet. Wtf. WTF?!?!
I'm givin up already, its stressing me out. How many mother fuckin assignment is there this week?! Nb, totally cannot cope la. Cb, why do they have to squeeze everything together?
I cannot cannot cannot cannnot finish! WAD THEY WAN ME TO DO??!?!?! WAD THEY WAN?
Enough to give them my life uh?! Bloody hell, seriously wad they wan. Im really tryin my best already. I had enough. Already had double attack today. Enough to kill the only lil pathetic motivation that i've left. I'm so effing tired.
Why?? "Hard work pays off." NB, fuck this phrase. NOT TRUE.
I'll always try to put in my utmost attention and hard work to everything i do. It doesnt pay to work hard. It effing doesnt. Then why am i tryin my best for?
Really a disappointment. Maybe im just not up to it at all. Even if i try hard. Im lousy and weak. Dun tell me to work harder. Eff you, its already my all, wad more do u wan?

I dunno la.
Tired already.
Even if i rant so much also no use. Assignment is still wavin to me over there.
Sucks. Life sucks. Everything sucks too.
Nb, dun wan say le.
Bye.
You ppl said u're gonna be there. But when i needed you the most, you weren't. You din even realise.
Pls, stop. It's ridicule enough.

2009-07-15T10:44:00.000+08:00

Ughh...

Hais.
I could only resort to blogging to vent my emotions now..
Haha.
Who do u look for when u urgently need somebody to talk to?
Tryin so hard to control.
And still controlling..
I dunno who to tell, dunno what to say, dunno how to speak.
So afraid some innocent will get it.
I dun need them to know, but they can see.
Some times when i no ignorance isnt the best thing in an inappropriate time. Sometimes i might just need it. At times, i just hate it.
Tsk. Ignore me. Just tryin to contradict myself.
Maybe somehow.. during such time.. i need to put myself alone in a room. So that ppl cannot see, so that i can express myself freely.
The only resort now is blogging. That's the only thing i can do eh?
Dunno how to make myself better. Maybe I'm just plain weak. Just a useless shit.
Wad now? FUCK LA. CB..
I needa calm down.
Bye.
Who's there when i need and appropiate person to talk to? Not everyone does consoling well. Don't assume.

2009-07-14T04:13:00.000+08:00

I was. I have. I will. I am.

When the clock strikes twelve....

When i suddenly thought of this phrase... hmm, very de meaningful. Most proabably girls will understand this phrase more. =.= That idiot passerby123 says it's lame. Nabei, u wan beatin isit. D<

When the clock strikes twelve...

It's the end of a princess dream, or a beginning of her happiness?
When i thought of this line, it just makes me ponder for quite a while.
What do u link to?
Normal people will think of Cinderella. So if u come up with some rubbish, then u r not normal. :/
Or maybe u will think its a brand new day. Walao, then u very de no childhood sia... =.=

Having lesson now..
And again, im not listening at all. Just use the time to update my blog.

I always love tuesday amongst the the five days.
Not only cause im havin 3 hours of lesson only,
It's also because its the only day that im having all my lesson in a building very very very near to his school. >D The nearest i can get already. Different course mah. So if im able to get anywhere near his school, its pretty much a shock already. Hais. -pout-

Hoping that some miracle will fall upon whereby im able to spot him. Even if he's like some dot far far away, I'm very contented.
Can't blame me for feeling this way. Coz i'm in a situation where I've never ever coincidently spot him anywhere in SP b4. It's been 3 months! And i've nv seen him once at all... O.o

Now i realise i will seriously prefer secondary school. Even if we are in diff class, but it's totally possible to see him if wan to. =( I miss secondary sch days. Everything seems so easy...
Hais, I miss you.................. terribly.
How have you been?

On the train journey to sch just now, was thinkin of you all the while.
Missing the times when we were able to meet up. No matter which destination we're heading to... train will always be one of the transport we would take. And i love it even we were talkin rubbish all the way. Even if they were just crappin moments, they are very precious to me. Very very precious.

And all the way, tryin to look up to talk to you, i will always curse and swear why the effing hell did u grow so tall for? And i will always compare your past height and ur present height. Can't help but to always feel amused. I hate guys man, they can suddenly transform into somebody so huge and tall, as though they could protect u from everything. I hate them. Cause i hate to always show that im effing amused and mesmerised by their sudden change, feeling so dumb and inferior myself.. =(
And yes, when guys suddenly grow sooo tall like nobody's business, they can be rather charming.
Ok la! Very charming la can!
Seriously, thats one fact that i still dun wan to accept yet.
I hate guyssss.... =((

So whenever i look up and talk to you, i cant help but to compare mine and yours. And if u din grow too much for the past months...(you better not) I think im only at the height around ur mouth. =( LOL.
Dont stare like that at me ppl... I can be extreme sometimes. XD
When i remember you were only a small boy then, and i WAS taller than you. Yea, i WAS... Boohooo..
Sayin so much, i really do wonder how much do u remember those times?

Hais. Im hopeless.
Think you guys are sick of me talkin so mucch about the past all the time.
Maybe next time when you scroll until those small wordings paragraphs... tell urself not to read it.
If you see something like that.. ahh, then exit my blog can liao.. Hahaha...
I wrote these, just to pen down those memories I treasure alot.
Maybe you guys just couldnt be bother.
But its MY blog. Stop sayin all those nonsense stuff like "There she goes again. Blabbering about her PAST."
Seriously if thats wad you think. Then fuck off.

Anyway, another reason y i blog coz... nothing to do? hahaha..
Just some other random blogging.
Shall zao and pretend to be listening now.
Tata~
Eh jerk.
Make me stop missing you can?

2009-07-13T09:10:00.000+08:00

Having lesson now.
Ya la, not listening to it at all can..
Hais..

I wanna eat buffet now. I wan to stuff myself with all sorts of shit food now. I wanna eat! I wanna gorge myself to death! I can eat 2 servings of platter for 2 now!!!
Buffet buffet~
Dadada... Who's in??

Hungry hungry hungry.
Food food food.
Movies movies movies!

I no all this entertainment seems so far away now.
Coz i got fuckin loads of assignment at hand.
This week is effing screwed!
D<
Boohooooo....
Eat...
I WAN EAT!
Hungry hungry!

I wanna go play! I wan back my holidays! I wan my sleep! I wan to dieeee....

Ok, this post is so random... =.=
I'm done.
Zao liao.
Tata~

2009-07-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

Why ppl just couldn't stop critising my photo?
Something wrong with it?
Tsk, wad the fuck?
Ok, fine. I shall nv ever put photos of myself in my blog anymore..
Next time dun complain y i got so little photo.

Ppl got fuckin big problem when i tried takin photos and posting it up?
THEN WHY THE HELL COMPLAIN I DUN HAVE ENOUGH PHOTOS TO SHOW?
CB, next time dun ask photos from me anymore. And I'm more determine to shun away from camera now. Fuck. If any of u guys dare spam photos of me again. Don't blame me for bombarding at u. Listen carefully. I'm effing serious.

Sorry. My mood was so much better moments ago.
But right after a shouting cum screaming quarrel my sis and grandma had, my mood drop drastically.
Bloody hell. Unreasonable grandma. And does she have to shout? Wad? We dogs uh?
And, encountered something when i had a dinner outing just now.

Anyway, some pictures my i took with my phone. No memory.. 2 was the limit already.. i had to delete some of the pics in order to take more.. Fuck, low memory my phone has.
Sorry, this post is so gonna be very unglam. Those innocent and pure ppl can shoo..

The couple again. LOOL AT THAT SOTONG. Spamming photos again..
Actually alot of ppl spamming photos today. Oh, we went to fish and co. to have dinner.
Coz most of ppl who went dunno me and i dunno them. So when they started spamming my photos without knowin i hated camera, i was fuckin pissed.
Almost wanted to say "Eh fuck, get that camera off the table la."
(No la, i din really wanted to tell them that. It's my current mood now that makes me wan to put the words that way.)
I only wanted to tell them to stop takin photos. It's irritating, when u hate phototakin, and they just smack that shit camera into ur face and snap. And i have to act and smile like i paiseh to take photo when i fuckin hate it. =.=
Even ppl who know i hate takin photo did that. Hais, no point shoutin at them when they are havin fun. So i must TOLERATE. Moreover they are my FRENS.
When i say delete the photos. I MEAN it.
I was reluctant when ppl take my photo... but i was usin bruce handphone to take pictures of everyone.
Reason being, u guys dun mind takin pictures. And, it's to keep some part of the memories. So since i din wan to appear in the cam, i shall take it. And since bruce hp got 32 effing big GB of phone memory, it's the more i should spam photos.
Anyway, photos not uploaded yet. Shall post it some later time.

I dunno wad bad experience i had of camera that make me hate camera so much. I dun wan to remember also.
Aiyah, forget it.

So this was the seafood platter for 2. Shared by Jt and me.
At first ppl thought we confirm cannot finished. Once the food come i was like, Ok leh, Confirm finish de. And yea, i was correct. We managed to finish it. And i wasnt even full enough lor. After eating, other ppl in the other table had their food served up. When i smell the food, wah, hungry again. Can stuff another plate of fish and chips sia...

And, just now came back, i was stuffing myself with twistis. Ma de, lao hong again. Y my father everytime buy lao hong twistis de. =.=
And so, spent 28 effing "cheap" bucks on something that din make me full. =.=
28 bucks, i can buy... .-counts- 9 meals. And that each meal can make me damn full sia.
Nvm nvm. Since its for peilin. I willing to sacrifice. Once in a blue moon. Can de can de.
Though my wallet feels effing thin right now. Tmr shall feed my wallet more.
I had fun with the guys also. Man, they're a bunch of funny guys.
Worth it? Yeaaa, worth it.

I dunno, feel so out with almost half of the group. I dunno them sia, and we din chat much. I din even talk with 2 ppl in the group. Weiliang and.. who's that again? Oh yah, DeHui. =.=
Din talk to them AT ALL.. Did i?
Anyway, thats not the point. I just feel kinda out. Maybe i shouldnt go at all. Like everybody knew each other. I only can emo one corner. =.=
Hais.

Then.
There is this person. Though i saw him ytd, i din realise anything. But after i had a closer look. Man, i found out sth...
He, looked soo much like HIM. Oh.My.God.
When i saw his eyes, it struck me. Something so familiar, something that i love sooo much, its as though he appear right in front of me again. My heart twitch when i saw his close face. He did look like HIM. My eyes widen when i came to realise he resembles HIM.
So long.. since i've seen his face so near. So long, since i've look into his eyes. So long, and i missed it so much.

I was amused. I really am. So the entire dinner, i got the urge to turn to him and look at his eyes.
One of the thing that i love, was the way HE looked into my eyes. I dunno wad he did to it. But whenever we stare into each other's eyes, yea, i was mesmerised by his. I din want to turn away. I love the way he looks at me. There was something, as though he was thinkin about sth while he look at me. A glance that made me wan to crack open his brain and find out wad he was thinking about that instant.

So when i realise it was this face that resembles him, i got the urge to look at him. I cant help but to observe his eyes. Seriously, he got the same eyes like him. Something that can stun me for a while. Each moment, when i got the chance, i will stare at his eyes, tryin to figure out and tryin to compare theirs. Their face also. I keep comparing. Alike, almost alike.
But somehow i no, its a different person. He is definately diff from the person i love so much. But the face carry the same expression. After comparing, yea, he cannot be campared with HIM. There's no way he can win HIM.
Then i remind myself, they are 2 different person. Look almost alike, seems alike, but still different. But i know its kinda hard to see his real face again. so i became greedy, look that the one that look almost like him and starts to observe again. Each time i look, each time i think of him. And i realise i miss him more and more. I wan to see the real person.
Hais.
The more i try to give up, the more i miss him.
The more i want to tell him, the more i wan to give up.
Uh? Wth?

This particular dinner made me remember alot of things again. It was somehow the same feeling when i was with HIM.
One of which was while we were havin meal together. Some korean restaurant.
I order sth which i din no wad kind of food it was. DUH, korean food leh.
And later he told me korean love sour dishes. One famous one is their kim chi.
I din no how kim chi (isit spelt like that?) taste like.
After my order came.. wakao, i had a tough time tryin to swallow that thing.
Effing sour! He said he think it's mixed with kimchi. Wah... seriously very sour.
And his order, was some sweet chicken or pork or sth plus rice.
Looking at me as though i was eatin shit, he was generous enough, decides to exchange our food.
So we were like sharing food. So when me and Jt shared the same dish today, it made me rmb this incident i had with him. Haha.

Lol. Darn happy can. Can share food with him. Good that he din mind half eaten food. So i was eatin his, and he was eating mine.
And wad? LOL SIA... After he tried my dish..... Mwuahahahaha.. He also find it damn sour.
In the end, he picked out those kimchi and only eat the rice.
Hahahahahaha... I was laughin damn hard that time la! XD
Cute sia heee.... Damn funny. Hehehe!
Still dare say me! D<
Haha...
These are the little memories that we had.

It is these little things thats makes the memories sweet.
And my heart will always smile whenever i think of it.

Arg.
Just now had an assignment talk with billu.
And he reminds me of sth...

Mon- 10 sketches to hand in.
Tue- 3 pics homework, and webp homework.
Thurs- CRS essay writing.. have to do research on it.
Fri- IDEA presentation and VAF video editing DUEDATE.
Nbnbnbnbnbnbnb.
Cbcbcbcbcbcbcbcb.
Bloody hell. Why do the assignments have to due on the effing same week?!
FOUR assignments leh. WTF?!
And VAF... i tot we still got time siaaa...This week gonna duedate already! D=
Stress stress. >(
Stresssssssssssssss.

ARGGG. Eff assignments!!
Ok, long post. Enough to cover at least 3 days.
Shall zao now.
BYE.
This small little memories...
How much do u actually remember?
Or u remember nothing at all?

2009-07-11T16:34:00.000+08:00

Ppl keep rushin me to update...
But... i have to NOTHING to talk about! =.=
so thinkin of wad to upload that time.. was thinkin if there is any picture that can take over words.. so that i dun need type alot...
In the end, after broswing through my phone. only got some pic of me wearing cap.
Hahaha, long time nv wear cap le.. kop from Jingting one, which is, ferg's cap also. =.=
Anyway, so i took a photo and decide maybe i should upload it. And decides that since i was about to upload it... i shall do some... EDITING!!
Hahahaha.. edit addiction come back uh... Even though im fuckin packed with assignments, i still cant help but to waste time and do this shit.
Sad.. procrastinating again. I really should die.
Tsk.
So both of the above pictures is edited de.. i lazy to find the original copy liao. haha..
Now rushin through this post. Coz by right i should be getting ready to go out. =.=

Have gt more to say, but think i shall continue at night.
So... tata~
=D

2009-07-08T20:59:00.000+08:00

Great. I've slept through my afternoon today. And it feels effing great. Whoooo!
It's really been a while, that i can sleep to the maxim. Goodie goodie!

But after i woke up, the thoughts of assignment just burst throught in my mind. SIANSSS... Totally is ji tao sian diao. So song after sleeping my ass off, yet the next second makes me feel damn stress. Hais. But i haven have got enough sleep sia... If not cause im hungry and there's this assignments that keeps buggin me, i wont wake up one lor.

How i wish i can sleep in my dream forever and never wake up.

At first i always feel this line was bullshit, but somehow i come to like it, and hope that it will happen. Omgomgomg.

I've made another attempt in the afternoon. Quite surpirse that he's online in the afternoon.
Again, wrong timing. He was still busy afterall.
And, as cold as ever.
At that instant, i've made up my mind.
I'm not gonna tell him how i feel anymore. Im not gonna make one more attempt.
I'm gonna give up.
Caused i asked myself, whats the point of trying so hard, when his attitude is always so cold, and always giving the i-cannot-be-bothered attitude. I've tried.. so hard.
In the end, i only feel more and more foolish.
Maybe he too, feels that there's no point telling him at all.
Why am i trying all the time. I'll get tired also.
I'll get even more tired, when he doesn't give a damn about a thing.
Why am i trying so hard for? He doesn't appreciate it. I'm tired enough already.
I'm gonna stop all this.
Maybe I'll be unable to forget him for years. But i believe, i can one day.
I will regret for not telling. But i might regret even more, if i made a fool out of myself. Cause im also unsure how he'll react to it. Just don't give a damn i think? Wah, then im seriously makin a fool out of myself. I'm doing for nth at all.
I'm gonna regret if i see him with other girl. I'm gonna regret so much.
But i just couldn't bring myself to continue anymore.
I woke up after my afternoon nap, and was firm that i really shouldn't do anything anymore.
I'm gonna let time wash away my feelings for him. Although i'll be wastin another year of my youth to do that.. Maybe more..
He don't bother, never give me any chance to do it, doesn't give a damn, then i shall stop.
He's not worth, not worth, not worth, not worth, not worth.... -hypnotising-
He's gonna miss out somebody that once loved him so much... and still loving though.. (LOL, make until like im great or sth...)
Arg. Didn't want to give up. But i guess theres really no point. I'm tired of how he react everytime i tried takin to him.
Enough.
So, ppl... no more entertainment for you already. You had ur fun knowing it.
And the fun is gonna stop.
Dunno when's the next urge I might bring up.. wanting to tell him badly.
But for now, i'll stop.

Hmm.. woah, first time the number of contacts online in my msn list exceed 50. 0.0
Ok la, damn noob la i no. Think some of you had over 100 contacts that is online as compared to mine. But you must know hor, i changed email recently niaaaa....
Delete alot of contacts, lazy to add those long time no contact de ppl liao. So its kinda like.. pathetic. hais..
Ok, so random.

This song.. the rhythm is freaking nice. Maybe not to u. I like it can liao. hahaha...
Got to hear it just now. When WeiJie intro me one song.. I checked out those related songs and came upon this.
It's nice okkkk...

Weijie said to me...

" You can't just start things and leave them undone, no?
Finish what you have started off
even if the outcome is hurting
but in the end, you will be glad that you at least tried "

Yah, I've mentioned b4.. i wont regret.. cause at least i tried..
But i really cannot bring myself to do it le.
Maybe, some things are not meant to be said.
Isn't wad ppl always say?

Maybe, I'll just keep it to the way, where i depend on fate, and let it leads the way.

Go chiong assignments le.
Tata~
You gave me no choice.
Not even a chance.

2009-07-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

A hurricane just swept past my day today.
Now my mind is upside down, turned inside out.

Nvm, the greatest concern now is, my tagboard.
As you can see, kena flooded until i also dunno how to reply and which to reply.
And i've got some queries to make also.

Ok, replying tags....

Passerby123: Since i already know who are you, then no point hiding it now. Wa, u damn imba, flood le still not enough, read almost my whole post. STALKER! >D Hahaha.
U asked, isnt being love better than loving. Of coz, its easier and duh.. better. But what's the point if i cant or dun even love the person? Everybody knows it takes two hands to clap. I think u get what i mean right.
It's not necessary that the answer is positive then i tell him how i feel. The point is, i want to know how he feels, I need an answer to know if i should continue, i need to know if im wasting my time on him. So it doesn't matter if it's gonna be a rejection. Cause at least i know the answer and carry on with my life. And at least HE knows how i felt about him b4.
Let's not rush everything alright? I needa slow down the current pace now. And, relax urself.. let everything be normal again.

Blackrabbit: Woao! Love your encouragement. Power uh! You're great! But how u know im not as emotional as i think? U sound like u know me very well. Do you? Seriously who ARE you. Curious curious curious.

Jingting: Hey babe! Love ya too. Thanks for ur message! XD Dadada...

Raye:Yea, talked to you on msn already. Roughly know whats happening now eh? Aikss... Meet up meet up! I need to talk to someone now. Meet up someday!!! Hais, lets crap one day uh! Miss youuuu.

Erika: Sob sob. Gan dong gan dong! Awww~ Thanks for your encouragement. I love love love your words! Powerful...Thanks!! XD Love yaaaaa.....

JuzApasserBy:You again! I remember you tagging previously (which is like decades ago).. And you are here again. D< Wad you mean by the plot thickens? Chim == You sound as though u r having a great entertainment eh? LOL...
Anyway, why dun u just show ur identity.

Bruce:LOL. Yeaaa, now then realise there's ppl supporting. I thought i was all the while on my own, fighting alone. I really thought i was fighting alone. Good to hear ppl voicing their encouragement out. At the least i no ppl cares.

Thanks guysssssssss. Thanks sooo much for each and every encouragement. Like wad i replied to bruce, these few weeks i felt like im fighting alone. I dunno who to speak to. I dunno who to ask. I dunno how to seek help. I think nobody really cares or bother. I think they are just waiting for me to get over with it quickly, or so maybe i can say other things rather than brooding on "unimportant" stuff. Hais. I gave my attempt. Wrong timing. Hais, i'll try it someday again yea?

AND. Why you ppl just dun wan to put your name. I know you guys know me and i know who you are. Whats the problem eh? I'll eat you up isit. I was practically guessing who the hell are you the whole day. And it just makes me creeped out. How many anonymous is out here lookin at my post. -shivers-
JUST TELL ME UR NAME. Or maybe some other nicks that one look at it and i'll know who are you. Hais. Stop popping from nowhere and creep me out.
I feel exposed all of a sudden. :/

It gets really really funny, when SOO many ppl knowing HIS existence somewhere somehow one earth, while he is the only one that dunno about any shit. Bet up till now, he doesn't even know how many ppl knows he exist. Hais. That Jerk. D=

I feel apologetic to some ppl. I'm really sorry. Don't put hopes on me. I can't give any promise yet. I still can't. I just wan to remain like how we used to be. Crap the whole day long. Laugh our ass out at random joke And i hope we still can do that. Don't look at me that way again.

Hmm.. text...
Well, this post is just to reply tags la. Nothing much also.
So busy this few weeks. I'll lessen the amount of post eh?
Tata~
How should i get the message across?
Tell me how the hell i can let you no?

2009-07-07T12:12:00.000+08:00

Passerby 123. I think know who are you.
Blackrabbit. Can i know ur identity? Do I somehow know you? Previously tagged my blog? WHO ARE YOU?

Please let me no. Dun make me go all curious about ur identity.

2009-07-06T20:11:00.001+08:00

Can le can le!
Finally can upload photos! Wan sui! Wooohooo~

Hmm.. not much things happen last week. Just manage to refilm some scene for that ass VAF again. Manage to do some CRS shopping. Manage to well, do some editing for our video. Somehow, i feel that last week went past in a flash. I'm not aware wad actually happen and a week just went like that. waste one whole week. Too busy i guess? Maybe, some things just crop up in my mind too much.

Anyway, let picture tells the story. =D

Taken in the toilet(o.0) at JP. Coz went there for crs shopping trip. =D
Tsk. Erika still inside doing.. erhem.. Aiyah.. should have waited for her. Erika, next time faster come out! XD

Next up...
Chiang chiang! Prettae couple here. Since peilin is always the steal shot camera man (tou pai girl) and is always the one to present unglam photos, i shall return her the favour! Take pictures of her Boi Boi eatin with her. Heh heh... I bery good right? XD
See her up there um-chio. Someone paiseh siaaaa.... hahaha..

Snaps! Another one.

Next up. VAF shooting at JT block below. Only done some shooting about 30 min then zao liao. Wah, damn fast can. Hais. Dun talk about vaf le.
Wanted to take VAF family photo de.. but Erika NOT THERE. Then missed it. Thought of gettin one next time when we meet up again to thank them. So i snap a few shots while going home in John's car. Woohoo. So up there is JieHui and JunHao... =.= JH and JH. SIA LA... hahahaha!

JH and JH again. See that JH damn bhb uh! XD
Wanted to snapshot the sotong and John infront de. But no more time left. And i dunno how to take sia.. i sitting at the back =(

Next up. Again, VAF filming. But this time, we r sitting on Ferg's car. And this time we filmed at Kranji. XD
Ok la, my handphone lousy can. So dark see gui ah? But still manage to see Erika and JT la. Peilin on the other side. Kao, damn squeezy can. XD

So that should summarise the week.

I have got something to say.

Only got to know each other for around a month i suppose? I somehow feel that things are getting way to fast for me to handle. I need time. I need time to cope with it. I need things to go real slow and smooth. I did mention that someone had already occupied my heart. And i still couldnt let go. Neither could i occupy another one. No, that's definately not the way.
Right now, I know I had to let the one in my heart to go. But, I need to know the answer before i can do that. I don't want to regret my whole life. I need to give it a try. I want to give it a try. And there isn't any hurry for that. Cause I will do it on my pace. I need time to handle my feelings too. It's not like I will die the next day right? Some things cannot be rushed. We have to watch out for the correct timing too.
I still have him in my eyes. So i need time to settle down myself. Sometimes i don't know how to face you. Cause i know i still can't turn my heart around yet. That's why i had to avoid. I don't want to be unfair to anybody.
I said i can't adapt in the previous post. And i mean it. I'm trying to adapt now. So do it slowly.
It's only around a month plus. Ask yourself, are you sure you got the correct person? You still don't know me yet. You don't understand my character. We don't know each other fully. Don't fall too deep. Ask yourself and sort it out. I'm not what I may seem to be. Maybe our character don't match. We have different interest? Different thinking? What makes you so sure you've got it right? It's only weeks. Maybe we need more time to know each other. Please, don't go too fast.
And I'm sure you don't really know it.

My blog tells alot of what I'm thinking about. And if you REALLY care, you will come and read and know what I'm thinking. If you think blogs are boring, ppl only blog what they do daily, and thus,you don't bother... Then u are wrong. I've mentioned, my blog is kinda personal. And if you don't really read, then sorry, we are totally not meant to be. And after reading my posts, and you don't find anything in it, then sorry again.
If u are good enough, you can find alot of things even in a simple post. The simplest post meant alot too. And if you always observe something from it, you are pro.

I'm rather emotional. If you can't pick any details from a simple post. Then you haven't know me enough. Sometimes I get serious with stuff you don't find it serious at all. And from these things, you can roughly tell how different we are. To me, the other half is a great emotional support. I need alot of emotional support from them. If you don't bother about the things I'm serious about. Then sorry again. We are definately not meant to be.

Sometimes I do wonder, are you serious about it anot?
I am so unsure now.
All that I'm sure of is, I have not settle down my feelings yet. I need time. Don't rush me.
And, nobody should get hurt in the process.
And one thing for sure, I'm still trying to adapt.

And I'm gonna give it a try.
Storm. Please. I beg you.

Ahh. I'm really sleepy now. Maybe i should just continue next time. =)
Tata~

I've tried. I didn't have the chance.
Maybe I should give it another try.
Though im sure it's gonna fail.
However, I'm still holding on to that glimpse of hope.

2009-07-04T15:47:00.000+08:00

Hmm, same as other bloggers who rants that blogger sucks as they cannot upload photo , i too, cannot upload photos.
So, BLOGGER SERIOUSLY SUCK. My god. Get it done quickly!
Coz actually wanted to upload photos.. but coz blogger is still sucking.. therefore i cant.
Tsk.

And tot i could save my words and just upload some photos. Apparently blogger doesnt help. Thus i have to type more words this time.

I think i still haven get use to poly life. I still couldnt fully adapt.
I think the chalet caused this weird feeling all the time. I miss my sec sch frens. I have known them for years. So when i reach there, im so carefree, i feel so damn comfortable. Really old frens eh? I can do watever stuff without minding other ppl. I can walk around and feel like im at home with my family. I already gotten used to havin them around. In one year, almost 300 days we are seeing each other, no matter how sick we are we still have too. Hahaha. So i seriously got use to them and miss the big family feeling. And have to thanks all the chalet that my sec sch frens had done. I really appreciated their initiation and hard work to create those chalets. Remember the times we first went to a chalet for the class. Everybody was kinda noob and enthu that time. All the chalet experience add ups and thus allow this chalet to run smoothly. This time everybody knew wad to do and were rather cooperative.

Now that the chalet its over, i just feel lke a big family kena seperated. Like we were once a family. But not now. Cos everybody is going their seperate ways. The ppl that i have gotten use to isnt around. I have a new world to lead on. I just feels so weird. I wan a person that i have known for years to be around. At least one. So that i dun feel so lost. When i have to adapt to a whole new batch of frens, I feels lost all the time. I have to keep adapting. Im not those who adapts very quickly. Nobody that im comfortable with is in my course. Hais. I have to grow eh?

And, im still adapting to assignments and no exam thing.
Not that i love exams. Now ppl's MST is over. They can like really relax and rest. While my course, everything is assignments. Assignment needs a period of time. And assignments just keeps one going and adding up. Few days ago we just had a new DVDE assigment. JITAO SIAN DIAO. Wad the hell. More stress.
Its like the tot of assignments just keep floating at the back of ur head. And just wouldnt bug off. Everyday u wake up, u no at the head of ur mind, there are assignments waiting for u. =.=
However i still prefer assignments. Slow and steady. Dun have to throw everything u no in 2 hours for exam.

Hais, i remember i had posts like this also. Complaining i cant keep up with poly. Im posting the same thing now.
VAF is SCREWED. Oh god. Simply feels that our video cannot make it.
Emo emo emo. Feel damn inferior when sees other group de videos. Omgomgomg. As though our video is ..... As though ours CMI liao. Ugh...
I feel as though i din put much effort in it. Feel that i should had done more and better. Feels crappy. Feels like a noob. Feels weak.
Feel that we're gonna fail our vaf. Feel like my group is regretting to have a group member like me. Feels that im not up to it at all. Feels so wrong. Hais.
Screw VAF man. I should apologise for not doing a good job. Should apologise for puttin everybody's hard work into drain. Feels apologetic for John, Hanfeng, Junhao for wastin their time on our video and yet in the end coming up with nothing. I think they regret so much for helping us. Sorry, shouldn't had ask help from u all. Now you guys have the right to regret. Blame us. Blame us. Scold me. Scold me.
Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.

T.T

Lost again.

Sometimes when i feels nothing, they said they were there for me.
Yet when i begin to believe they were there, suddenly, they seems to disappear.
And im alone again.

有时候，我会怕，害怕你说的只是一时的。害怕一切都是谎言。害怕是我想太多。害怕什么都是假的。害怕灰姑娘的故事会在下一秒之内破灭。害怕现在我所拥有的会消失。
有时候，我认为你会在乎，都只是做作。只是为了做而做。并不是发自内心的付出，也并不是真的在乎。
我只须要多一点肯定。多一些诚意。多一些你愿意给我的付出和时间。
或许是我太贪心。或许是我太希望能成为你眼里的一切。

我希望还来得急。我希望你会对我有所反应，一点点也无所谓。
因为我真的在乎。因为我把你看得很重。因为我好爱好爱你。
希望我不用承受太大太多的伤害。
Cause they said everything will be alright.

Uh, dun think too much. Sudden emoness. Hahaha. Dunno y i typed this also.

...
It seems like, many ppl are waiting for that very one move.
Will this particular move make any changes?
I'm so scared.
As though, its gonna be a move that will change the current situation into a drastic commotion.

Aiyah.. i dunno wad to post sia. Stressed uh! >.<
Think thats all about it.
My prettae readers are gone already eh? T.T
haha..

I yearn for you.
Do you even realise it?
Tell me, how much do i exactly weigh in your heart?
Nothing i suppose?
Haha...

2009-07-02T09:01:00.000+08:00

Thought of blogging next week. Cause i had too many things stuck up... either physically or mentally.
Gahhh.. STRESS! >.<

However, im still here. A really short post.
Maybe to give a lil' update of things that happen recently.

So this week, decide to prevent myself from blogging is because.. Yes, that eff-ed up assignments. =.= Throughout this july, assignment is nv gonna end. Cause one of the deadline is set to the end of july. Yes, that steeupid 3d assignment. And i have yet decide to model wadever shit for the shit 3d. Hais. 3d rocks my day man... terribly.

Other reason is, waiting for that particular storm to take place. To wreck up all the tiny miny bits of detail that is kept in my heart. Was planning b4 i can piece every lil piece of the heart back, im not gonna post anything. So that i can 收拾心情，b4 i continue with my life.

But still.. im here! Tada~! For all my prettae readers. Be glad ppl... be glad.

Frankly speaking, im still not prepared for the storm.
I haven tidy all my emotions b4 facin it. Tell me wad to do man. Each time i think about it, each time i will avoid and push back all my thoughts. I nv want to think how badly i will bruise all cause by that storm. Yea i dun deny, all im doing is just to avoid. I couldn't face up to reality yet. I'm still.. not prepared.
The more the clock ticks nearer to the day, the more uneasy i get. As though doom is gonna reach me or sth. I just hope everything will be alright.
And i pray that everything will be alright.
Im gonna be strong.
I hope...

MST week, simply waiting for this darn week to pass, and my webp assignment deadline to come. Then i shall "anticipate" for the storm... to arrive.

Pull urself back b4 u drop deeper. It's still not too late. I meant wad i said.
I dun wan to inflict another pain to another innocent.
I've done it and im just all guilty. Din wan it to happen again.

I dunno wad you're gonna do to my heart again.

2009-06-29T23:01:00.004+08:00

Gonna be a really short post uh. Just went thru the analysis of the horoscope in facebook. (yes yes, horoscope again. I repeat, not superstitious uh... Tot i will just read briefly, but read only few lines its like totally true siol... so i read everything in the end. XD hahaha...)
AND that fuckin analysis in facebook is darn acurate uh!
All thanks to peilin, she dunno publish up in facebook about this, i RANDOMLY go take a look.

Some parts that im gonna highlight in here, aiyah, for my own reference can. You dun bother dun read lo.. hahaha...
And sorry guys, its in chinese. If u r noob or dun understand chi at all, i cannot help uh, dun have time to translate. XD

Most parts im gonna highlight is the relationship part.
Nth's wrong with that right? hahaha...

-他們最希望獲得朋友的信任，如果從一個朋友那裡得不到信任，他不會再與這個朋友交往下去.

-感情（超級白癡）　　
魔羯的人傻的可以，他們並不瞭解愛情，但是他們只知道愛的感覺，對於他們任何感情的表達都是一種感覺，他們很認真的感受每一個感覺，大部分感覺都可以一個人去感覺，最失敗的愛卻要兩個人.
傻傻的魔羯一開始會認為，愛你是我自己的事情和你沒關係，可是到後來越來越感覺不是滋味，於是開始對對方表白，表白成功後卻不知道如何走下一步，也許是太不浪漫在作祟，魔羯的人可能會拿任何事情開玩笑，但是在愛情方面只要他說出"我愛你"或者話題談到將來結婚，那麼他絕對不是在開玩笑.

-追求:
魔羯的追求是認真的，只要對方不讓魔羯認為完全沒有機會，魔羯就會像瘋子一樣的追求著，他們其實對自己非常沒有信心，唯一的動力只是相信自己在愛著，為了對的起自己的感情，為了認真的去愛一回．　　　　

Eff-ed? This is effing true. =.=
How did they no that?
My god..

-被追求:　
魔羯對於不喜歡的人不會給予任何機會，魔羯的人很善良，而且他們知道長痛不如短痛的道理，如果魔羯勉強接受了你，那也是出於一種同情心，但是交往沒幾天他們就開始內疚，他們認為憐憫的愛對追求者來說是一種傷害，他們會盡量的躲避並且對追求者很冷淡追求者盡量的讓追求者開始討厭她／他．如果追求者不理解的話，放心最長不超過一年，魔羯會很理智的告訴你別在聯繫了，她／他會消失的無影無縱．　　　　

-拒絕:
如果魔羯真的愛了就不會去拒絕你，永遠不會．

-被拒絕:　
魔羯比任何一個星座對感情都很認真，恢復傷痕的時間也很長，他們會選擇消失，這樣對你對他都有好處，因為他怕多看你一眼而又再次無法自拔　他怕再多看你一眼　心如刀割.

If u r close to me enough, yea, u'll definately agree with this eh?
LOL.
And if u are as bo liao as ME, yeaaaa, u can go see how accurate is that.
And wad the fuck, everything there is true. God... suddenly feel as though my thinkin is exposed and my heart feels kinda naked. (well, not in the sense of "naked" can, where did ur thoughts went? LOL.)

Ok, so very standard, i checked his. I do and i admit. Hahaha. Some things stated on his horoscope just grabbed all my attention.
Those Virgo ones, check if its correct.

-處女座狀態好的時候，可以將自己聰明、細膩、能幹、溫情、幽默、有內涵等優良品質完全外展，此時他們顯得如此完美，光芒四射，並且可以表現得非常外向、健談，容易與人打成一片（這本非他們的性格）.

Thats the reason y im attracted to him i suppose?
Haha, i dunno.

-很多時候處女座要面對很多實際的瑣事，這時的處女座便不得不在冷中面對周圍世界：要麼說話做事很不自然，有做作的痕跡；要麼便極度冷漠和被動，對誰都不理不睬。其實處女座很清楚自己現在的樣子，但他們無力改變和控制自己的情緒，只能選擇瘋狂地逃避一切。
他們想的是：與其很不自然地面對你，尷尬地和你說些無關痛癢地話，或是因和平時反差太大而被人說成表裡不一，性格怪異，還不如先躲一陣子，等調節好了以後再出來。
所以，在與人交往中，他們只會和不得不交流的人（實在躲不掉）或是完全陌生的人（反正無所謂）交談，而和熟悉的朋友反而疏遠。所以.你在他心中地位越重，他躲得你越遠。特別是戀人.

I know, giving myself too much hope again?
But... this part just makes me paused and think for a while..

而且,大家都知道處女座的人有嚴重的完美主義傾向,所以就有了所謂的 "處女座的人最喜歡若即若離"。原因很簡單：他只想給你一個最好最完美的自己，而不願讓你看到他無助脆弱的一面。所以請記住，有時處女座對你冷，絕不是你說錯做錯什麼，這是他們正常的生理現象，他們只是不想讓嚴寒和冰霜傷害了你（可事實上這種做法已經傷害）。不必難過，因為他們在乎你的話，他們的內心比你還要難過、自責和內疚！他們所能做的，只希望快點調整好情緒，回到你的身邊。正基於以上兩點，處女座有時便會表現出非常另類的行為和思維模式。他們的性格也很多來源於此：不喜主動，不善交際（也可以熱情，只是今天熱了，終有一天會冷的），不愛表現，不喜拋頭露面（萬一哪天情緒無法把握狀態不好時，豈不大失臉面），諸如此類。

Hmm..
just simply telling y Virgos sometimes are cold towards u.
And yes, im thinkin way too much again.
Just wanna make myself feel better i think?
Aye, suan le suan le.

Other reason for being cold eh? This analysis is giving me goose bumps...
They way they analysis is funny and accurate.

-關於"花心"—— 一般說來處女座絕不花心，忠誠是他們的代名詞。異性關係多很可能是他們需要確定一個好人緣和自己有魅力，來反擊那些普遍觀點。一旦找到心中真愛，他會呵護你一輩子，只要你能給他安全感，他永不背叛，心中眼中唯你一人。尋花問柳，紅杏出牆這些事與他們絕緣（一是責任感所致，二是怕麻煩）。

=D
Sounds good eh?
Awww~

-沒事少在處女座面前信口開河，隨意撒謊，很多偽紗他們一眼便能看透；也別跟他們玩什麼心計，你玩不過他們的。處女是那種可以把你賣了你還得向他道謝的類型。沒事也少跟處女座辯論，他們沒理也可找出理，甚至找出不止一條理來。處女是永遠不會吃虧的。
(Hahahahah! Damn! I keep laughing at this part. Can't help but to agree uh! One of a kind sia.. XD)

Ok sorry peeps, this post is totally for my own reference. Read it only if u are sian/boliao/nothing to do. Heh heh.

Im really stressed right now.
Assignment sucks. =.=
Hais, ok, tata~

Ugh.
Confused again.
=(

2009-06-29T01:41:00.000+08:00

This song is POWERFUL.

The lyrics damn meaningful la.

U guys might heard b4. Bet each of u no this song. Only different lyrics this time.

So if u heard Miss Independent by Neyo b4.... Yahhh, then u no this song le.

But its a diff lyric. Meaningful. Totally how i feel now..

Forget about me by Lil Bit.

"Why don't you love me the way i love you?"

"If'you're gonna hurt me, then do it quickly."

Hit right on the spot can. Ugh.

While chatting, one ask me these to solve all my questions and uncertainties.

"You ask urself
if you dun say it out,

will you be able to forget?
will you be able to see him again
and be normal?
will you be able to fall in love wif another person?
if you dun no the real answer?"

No. No. No. And no.

No to all.

Hit right on the spot eh?

Tsk.

"You need the real answer,
its all or nothing."

...

Hais, i agree.

But, the real answer is fuckin damn hard to get uh.

Hais again.

Some how, i can foresee a storm coming in later days. And im pretty sure its gonna last for a few weeks. Will there be any life boats when my ship wreck and sank?

And i going to overcome and prevent myself from drowning and die?

Just simply hope the storm is gonna have mercy. Hais.. -Glances at the sky-

It's gonna be alright yah? Everything is gonna be alright. -hypnotising myself-

Meltdown- Rin kagamine

I tell you, this song is fucking nice.... Er, to me la.. haha.

Crazily repeatin this song for the whole damn day. Maybe some will like uh. I dunno? My taste of song not same as u guys. XD

Have to thank WeiJie for intro-ing. Sibei nice seriously.

S**** *****E.

I always dislike distorted voice being played in music de. But this song made me find vocaloids nice siol! Woo!

Love it~

Think thats about it.

This few days gonna reduce the number of post le. Have to chiong assignment. T_T Boohooohoo~ Assignment kills.. >.<

It's getting worst.

Did I..

offend you in some ways?

Or killed ur family members this time round?

Wadda hell...

Hais.

2009-06-26T04:09:00.001+08:00

25/6/09
Horoscope in friendster.
(well, im not really that superstitious that reads horoscope daily just to check out wadever shit is gonna happen. Just some entertainment that i did randomly.)

The Bottom Line
Open the window and clear the air! Sometimes the world seems all smoke and mirrors.
In Detail
You've been thinking over how to handle this attraction you're feeling for a certain someone, and you've come up with a plan. You don't take laying your feelings on the line lightly, so when you do manage to mention how you feel to them, you'll absolutely insist that all conditions are right. That way, things can't help but turn out well. Now that you have that plan, shouldn't you be on the phone, arranging for the most important element? The other person?

O.o
How effing true is that?!
I dunno y, i only view horoscope in friendster, coz its like very true. It's the only horoscope that will stun me all the time.
Above horoscope, until the last 2 sentences.. is correct. Each and every word is correct. But, the questions.. yea, it's question that i asked myself b4 over and over again. But i'll nv do it.
So effing shock with i read that ytd.
Hais..

Nvm, change topic.
Since i got the time, i shall elaborate on wad's happening few days ago. Even if u dun wan to no, im still gonna type it out.

Filming? Yes, filming. Woohooo~! Finally done with those filming. Fast and smooth. Although some things just happen. Like providing those sucky mosquitoes with blood again. Bet they had a great feast. And that junhao, finally tio mosquitoes. Last time he was havin a fun time teasing us that we r dumb ppl coz we wore shorts. We tio love bites on the whole legs while he doesnt even have a single bite coz he wrap his whole body up. =.=
But that day, mwuahahahah.. he finally tio the love bites, and landed into the same situaiton as us. Laugh somemore. Finally tasted the power of the love bites. From those shit mosquitoes.

Tsktsktsk. JT tio hit by car. Woo, woo, woo. Relac ppl, nobody died in the process of filming. The very slow motion of car-hit-man scene happen right in front of our eyes. Though she isnt dead yet and still happily living, her knees were hurt. Aiks! A bad example. Hope there isnt any side effects from that hit. And get ur knees heal soon u hear me?! Whole group might feel guiltyabout this incident. And u r not allowed to do anymore acting. -.-
Well, depends la huh? Mwuahahaha....
Hope everything we filmed is ok. So that we DO NOT need to refilm again. -pray-

So THIS above girl is the one kena hit. Everybody look closely. If u see her photo in Lim Chu Kang cemetry, please inform us ASAP. Coz she was only mean to act like she died. And not really die in real life. If u really see her floating somewhere.... O.o Run pls...
Photo taken in sungei buloh trip. Have to zoom to take her photo i tell u. Thats y so blurr.
Ok la, my shit camera can. Stop complaining. It's good enough to show photo of her already.

Now now now.
My class chalet.
Pictures tells a thousand words. I totally agree with it. So pictures will do the job to elaborate everything that happen during chalet.
Ok, maybe i should put some words afterall.

YAY~! Starting of fire for BBQ..

Still trying to prepare...

Finally, BBQ-ed foods! Yum yum yum! Satays!

Sorry keefe. Din mean to shoot until so unglam. Hahaha.

All the BBQ-ing was done by guys.

I always have a weird feeling that the food might be uncooked. Haha...

20 over plus ppl attend. I tell you, only 5 girls. Of coz they serve us la! Where got we serve them? Hahahahaha!

No la, have to compliment, u guys damn gentlemen can. Become matured liao uh. Although some of them nv change AT ALL, grab all the food b4 taken by ppl. =.= As kan jiong as b4.

Fire was able to start all thanks to eric. He the pro-est in starting fire i tell u. Everytime he will be the one startin it. -clap clap-

Nv get to eat all the food. =( Not even full lor. 10 bucks... T.T
Ok la, guys need more food coz they still in puberty uh. Give them give them. We damn generous one.. hahaha..

At night.

4 girls overnight. Yet all the girls have to sleep in the living room on the mat. =.=

Damn gentlemen sia... 5 guys occupy the room. We poor ppl have to squeeze in living room. This mat has 4 ppl. I was on another mat. Eventually i had to sleep on the floor. Only my head was on the mat. Damn comfortable i tell u. =.=

But its kinda fun sleeping like that. First time was i able to share and sleep together with such a mass group. With guys somemore.. Hahaha...

Haaaa.... memories again! Keep keep keep!

(I got a feeling David is gonna punch me if she sees this photo.)

Meet up again ppl! Miss you guys like mad. I enjoyed the chalet. Thanks marni marni! =D
And i appreciated Him attending. Have to thank monkey for that. He wont appear if u din. Thanks alot sia. =)

Next day was Daiko training. LOLS! At first only 2 freshies. Me and XueQi. WeiJie came next.

So? 3 freshies came only! Omg la!

So? NO PT! HipHipHooray!

So? We had all the drums to ourself!

So? We can train faster and senior can spot our mistake easier.

So? Damn slack la! Machiam like our home like that. Slack like nv b4. Got alot of resting time. Not so stress and packed up, like rushing for time like that. Get to no the seniors more coz smaller group this time. They did some random practicing while 3 of us look at them.

Get to learn some beat secretly. And all 3 of us were given nicknames by a irritatin senior. Dunno wad's his problem also. But now i get to know them more, dun hate them like i did in the past. Things were so much better when we practise in smaller groups. I love small groups. Bigger group sucks... I enjoyed last Daiko training. Funner than i expected. Coz i brought a heavy heart there in the first place due to PT. Hahaha..

Think we r the first group that finish the whole Takada. Tue de group only until pattern 5. Heh heh heh. Pro uh! XD
.

So after Daiko, went to buy medicine with my ah ma.

I rmb telling VAF members(some) that my ah ma damn hiong one. 70+ woman drive lorries. Damn hiong uh! VAF members hear le shock. hahaha.

Btw, she doesnt drive like snail. Her speed not bad one ok...

-showing off- XD

Secretly took pictures of her.
Now that i realise, i nv once took pictures of my family.
I always fought with my ah ma. Even till now. Our relation is turning bad to worst. Hais..
Now even when we stand in the lift.. awkwardness and silence is the only things that fills the air. I dunno y we become like that. Although i always say i hated her, but i still love her like wadever. And i hope nothing will ever happen to her. I still wan to see her at home everyday. I still wan her live 100 more years.

hehehe...
hope she wont no that im posting her photos and letting ppl see. I think she'll hack me to death if she finds out. LOL!

Anyway, i love her.

LOL.

Since Yeoh WeiJie is so keen in reading my blog, shall talk about today also.

Went to sch to "tutor" him in webp. Tutor machiam like nv tutor. Coz i din teach him anything at all. =.= Basically just describe wad we should do for it. From 1 till 8 pm... we keep digressing sia... I wasn't even 1/4 done. Weijie more worst. 1/10? Siao eh that guy, digress too much. Cannot concentrate. =.=

Oh yea, have to mention also. Bruce came too. At first wanna help. But in the end nv. =.=

Thanks for the cookies. Yea man! 2 days of free cookies!

Weird uh. I nv like revising or doing work with frens, coz i can nv concentrate. But we manage to find a totally goodie nice spot. Quiet enough, comfortable enough, to start on our assignment. Seriously shock that i can concentrate also. hahaha.... No wonder uh, future IA one. Already got the IA student's perserverance. Yea man. IA rocks uh!

For those noobs, IA refers to Interactive Application. XD

Anyway, was able to talk to Weijie like some buddy. Comrades man. Woo~

Tsk.

Why my post gettin longer and longer. Beginning to turn naggy liao..

Ok. Stop stop. Must control le.

This should be enough to get u to sleep now.

Tata~

If there's ever a chance,

Just ONE chance...

I'll definitely go for it.

I swear.

But all i can do now is wait.

Wait for my fate to lead the way.

2009-06-24T13:32:00.000+08:00

Woots, 3 days nv post, gettin lazier and lazier uh?
haha...

Things that happen this 3 days?
First, is filming. I'll pass this.
Next is 2 days is class chalet. Not really class chalet. Its chalet for bvss.
God.. I miss all of them! Seriously. Some, is more than a year nv talk. Some is half a year nv see each other le. I feel like shouting to the whole world that i miss u guys man. When i saw u guys again, i felt like i haven really left bvss. I felt like we were still normal classmates. I felt like after sch reopen we r gonna be in bvss studying together again. Though thats all.. so.. impossible.
I miss u guys.
All of us is leading a new life already. But the moment i see u guys, shouting at each other, play soccer like the past, joke with one another, laugh at one another.. my god, everything looks the SAME. Like ppl just nv change. And we r still the old us. Memories man. We create so much memories together. Be it good or bad.
Its been so long since we sat together and have meals. The chalet was great. I dun care if it was boring or just, BORING. I manage to see you guys, doing well, then thats all that i care. When's the next time we see each other again? So many uncertainties in our lifes. We couldnt promise that we'll see each other again. Maybe next 20 years? So i really treasured every second. Every second in the chalet.
I'll pass abt the chalet too. I'll elaborate when there's time. I got other stuff to say.. badly..

Hais, ok. Sometimes my post will get abit personal.
And u guys might think theres no point tryint to do "invisible" words in the blog coz ppl will still read it. I no ok, im not an idiot. But in this way, its a way to seperate the general post, with my personal post. As personal post r meant for some ppl to read only. It doesn't mean that when i invisible those words, i no ppl won see and they wont read. Pls la, nobody's such idiot right. When i blend those words, its a natural instinct in every human to know that its gonna be something meant for someone, or some special post. So its a way to tell ppl that, dun mess with that, and dun joke when theres blended words. And respect it, coz its something serious now.
Dun come and tell me blog r meant for ppl to read. Yes i no. But i make it into a personal blog, where ppl who knows me, cares abt me, not here to be kaypohs.. can all read. So im always against the idea of linkin my blog. It's personal, not for ppl to link and make blog hoppers or some bo liao/ sian de ppl read coz they got nth to do. If u care, u ask the blog link from me. A way to tell ppl not to meddle with it. Its not funny when im spilling my feelings out and some ppl just comes and make a big hoo haa to the whole world. Pls, get a life. Read it, understand it, and keep it to urself.(uh, bvss ppl can link la, coz not many bvss ppl bother to come my blog, hahaha.)
Dun make comments like "U tryin to gain pity from ppl?" Hello? mother fuck. U wanted to read it. Nobody begs u to. So shut the hell up and keep it to urself. I only say wad my heart feels. Assholes aren't welcome.
Hmm, relax man. Im not angry about anything, sudden thought nia. Hahaha.
Sorry, its gonna be boring post for my pretty readers.
I advise you to click on other links and visit other blogs. Hahaha.

You came.
When i knew u were coming. My world just spins. All emotions just came and kept running around in my mind.
My heart were out of control. I wanted to see you so badly. So long since i last saw you. I wanted to know how you are doing now. I know that i wanted to see you terribly.
But reality just strucks me. I know its not correct. I couldnt see you, not when im already trying so hard to forget you.
When im losing so much hope, telling myself that i'll succeed in forgetting you, the next moment.. u are coming. Haa, I din no wad to do. I keep telling myself i din wan to see you. Keep telling myself how much i hated to see you. Keep drilling myself with all sorts of lies that i dun wan to see you at all. Deep, deep down, that was just bullshit. Yea, I WANTED to see you. That was just so obvious to myself... and I dun deny, i want to see you. And i was happy, so happy that you'll be coming.
Hais, I really deserve to be slapped.

While waiting for time to tick, i was just all lost. I know u coming down was the totally, UTMOST wrong choice. I know myself too much, i know that its gonna be so much harder when i see you leave at the end of the day. I even felt like leaving right there and then. Just to avoid seeing you, in order to lower the hurt that is gonna be inflicted upon me. Ridiculous uh me. Im choosing to avoid my desire. My very very strong desire.
So,
you came.
Wakao, i tell you, the moment i saw your face, i almost fainted. Split second i thought i was dreaming. The next second thousands of emotions rushed inside me again. I'm so hopeless. I couldn't control. Know wad, the feeling was more than just striking one million bucks. I was even happier than that. I felt that i could almost fly.
And,
after feeling those dizziness, and fainting, and striking milllion dollars and rubbish emotions.. the very very next second, i hide myself behind somebody's back. I din dare to see you anymore. I was so afriad that after looking at you, its even harder to watch you walk away. I was trying to calm myself down too. I need to cool down. And from that onwards, my sight was always repelled away from wherever position you were at. Just keep repelling my sight away from ur direction. And my body wasnt mine anymore, i acted like other person. I lost myself right there and there.

I hated when you ppl have to sit in your own group. But i know im too weak to do anything.
But i was happy. I was soo much contented just to hear your voice, even if i couldn't see your face. All the while, ur laughter and voice was the only noise i can hear and bother abt. I wanted to remember it. Almost like recording down ur voice in my brain. I'm so afraid thats its gonna be the last time i'll see you again. You were just so near me. After so long, i finally was abt to no where were you and wad you were doing. You were only metres away from me. I was already very contented. Coz i know you were near. Right at the place where I am.
The more important thing is, i've saw you in person.

It was killing me when i no im going somewhere, and you are not. The time wasn't enough at all, i din wan to leave. I'd rather starve the whole night. I want to stay at the place where you were. The futher the steps that i took each time, the more reluctant i was to leave the place, the more it was tearing me apart. It was terrible. Cause i was so afraid, afraid that when I come back, you were gone. I told mysef its gonna be the last time i see you. My heart wasn't with me already when i left.

So, my mood drop drastically. I turn back to the emoness self. I couldnt control. It was even hard to force out a smile. All i want was you.
At the depressing moment, when i was so sad that i wont be seeing you, when i was already at the pit of the hole, you reappeared around me. You were just standing right in front of me. I got a shocked out of my life i swear. I tell you, this time it was better than striking one billion dollars. My heart almost popped out can. I shouted, extrememly, extremely, totally overjoyed. Cause I know i have few more mins to spare being around you. I was so so so happy. I dunno how many "so" i have to say, but i WAS HAPPY.
My mood changed again, i was uber excited and high. I was very very happy.
You know how impactful are you?

So, finally when you leave, how sad i felt? I have to see you walk away, leaving me further, without even turning around. And i think, i saw you lookin at.....
I had to keep hypnotising myself. Telling myself im thinking too much again.
DUH, it din work also.
I din wan to see you go.

U came, and confused all my emotions. You shred me into pieces, throw it all around, and simply left.
Now, i have to pick up those torn pieces again, and piece myself back. This time round. piecing myself takes a longer time. Coz u shredded too much of me. I know its harder to forget you again.
Why did i fall so deep?
What should i do now?
Tell me wad should i do now?

So ur appearance made me remembers you again. Oh god.
Another thing that shock me moments ago. You wrote sth on ur pm.
Friends? Lover? What did u actually mean?! After you went home, ur pm changed.
Who was the one? Wad did you mean? How? And why?
Fuck, im a failure.
I'm thrown back into confusion again.
I thought i am prepared for the worst. Now i realise im also hopin for the best.
I no, im hopeless.
Yea, and i suck too.
=(
I need to clear my mind again.

2009-06-22T02:35:00.001+08:00

Ah, ah, ah!
This song is GREEEAAAT!
Though it's like years ago, my father's nian dai kind of song, still... this song is powerful!

Love to be loved by you - Marc Terenz

Damn meaningful uh.
" Baby tell me how can i tell you,
that i love you more than life. "
Nicey nicey! How true is that uh?

Found this is someone's blog. Her bf wanted her to listen to this song but she kinda ignored or sth. Now that their relationship has got problem, then she regretted her bad attitude towards him. Then she put this song in her blog. Hais, abit too late to regret everything isn't it. Should treasure uh. Dun take him for granted.

Anway, whole day stayed at home do nth again. Walao, my poor laptop is like goin to overheat or sth. Tsk tsk. (Although im saying this but i still nv take the intiative to let it rest. -.-) I will, i will! After i blog finish ok. Stop groaning, laptop. -.-

While bathing, was thinking that, stayin single isn't a bad thing afterall. Feels that when u're single, u can get to no more frens as u dun have so much barrier. Unlike when u're attached. (uh, no offence to those already attached, close one eye while readin this can. XD)
So, it's not bad to stay single. U r kinda free. Free from many things. I shall enjoy my days being single. Though staying single might mean lonely too. Cause frens aren't always there when u need them.

God, ok, I dunno wad im talkin now. I need sleep le i guess. Tmr got filming. One member is gonna pangseh uh (Haha, no offence, E. Xp) So we have double work to do. Wan sui!
Tata~

*Sings:" I love to be loved by youuuu~" *

I missed the times when we're alone. It was as though we're dating, like lil' couple.
U gave me the chance to taste the sweetness of being together.
The days, it was as though your time belongs to me. As though you were mine.
I cannot forget the short moments being with you.
And i miss it so much.
Tell me, and I'll give anything just to go back to the past.

2009-06-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

It's another stayed-home day.
As usual, imma just pigged at home.
Slept at 6AM in the morning, woke up at 11am. Eat and went online. Afternoon nap at 4pm. Then woke up at 6pm, and EAT again. =.= Walan, like pig right.
And, afternoon the weather is like sai can. Wakao, sibei warm. Woke up all thanks to the heat. Or not by now i should be still sleeping. XD

Since i woke up all thanks to the heat, went online again, and my sis showed me this amazing, fabulous, fantastic, wow-ed video. Coz she went to some music course in Ngee Ann at ppl there showed her this.

Er, watch it only IF u feel bored. Dun say i nv warn you. AND, dun blast ur speakers watching this. >D

Man, he's GREAT. Power!
The song is nice also. Vitas! X)

This another video with the same song but diff person trying to sing like Vitas. One taiwanese singer. Woah, he also darn powerful can!

His version one also not bad.

Seriously, dun watch this next video if u ain't as bo liao as me.
Its gonna be both digusting and funny. This kuso video is one hilarious clip man. I bo liao until keep repeating a few times. Damn funny sia!

Crap, hahahaha. Love this vid!
Call me siao or wadever. haha.
I did warn u hor, if u lost ur appetite coz of this also not my fault. XP

Finally gotten the pictures while we took after filming from peilin.

I tell you, the sky very very nice! Pink colour one. Although we cant see much here.

In the car.

Then this is our driver, i mean, we ask him for help as we needed car. Yea, John is the name. Can't see much here. Peilin din put flash.
I tell you, he's driving skills super hiong. I felt like we were rushing off to somewhere for dunno wad reason, or he always drive like that. Once when we were going past a hump, WAPIANG, everybody practically flew up for one second in the car. Sia la, he DUN brake de can! And yes, ppl screamed. Heh heh, shall not mention much. XD An adventurous car journey man.

On the passenger seat, Hanfeng, or maybe known as the biggest butt among us (no offence XD) was so lucky to have a seat all to himself. Coz we have to squeeze 5 ppl behind, so the "biggest" shall have the front passenger. Waliew, lucky him. I took this coz peilin coulnt take one.

This one is with flash. I "ordered" him to look at the camera. Hahaha, and purposely put flash.
In the end he go posed one freaky face. Sia la, scary de can.

That peilin uh, happily tryin to take photos of us.

Failed attempt. Tryin to photo-scam me again. That sotong~

My dear VAF teammates tryin to psycho me to take one photo with them. Hahaha.

Hahaha!

Finally one nice VAF family photo. Although Junhao abit.....

Ahaha, no la, he is one of our VAF members also. Big shot uh i tell u. Mwuahahaha!

If u realise, we r the "white tee-shirt" family can. Everbody wore WHITE ytd! =D

See how squeezy is THAT. FIVE ppl man. Oh god.

And for heaven sake, i wasn't sitting on JT legs can. Only a quarter of my butt was sitting. The other 3/4 was practically in space. Hahaha!

Anyway, thats not the point.

Memorable day! Took photos to remember this day!

Weepieee~

Nothing much happened. So arent gonna say much.

Tata~

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2009-06-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

It's ok! It's alright, ppl!
I'm fine already, totally fine.
Forget abt the previous post, forget abt everything... -brainwash brainwash-
Nothing happen, im just thinkin too much. Yea, im thinkin too much... -hypnotising myself-
Ok, enough of that. Im still the happy, angry, bossy me. Dun fret. Im not gonna emo over ytd incident le. I'll be an idiot if i do that. Yea, i forget everything and continue with my life. Things r gonna change. Even if it hurts, I'll still survive. I can be strong. And i will! Cheers!! XD

I can be strong and independent.
And i will.

Although the world crashed on me ytd. And although im still emoing in the morning, I am totally fine by after i went out to do my assignment. Regretted for thinking so much and going so ridiculous over nonsense stuff. Nvm, forget that. A fun, great day, puts all my worries away! =D

VAF today was super uber very sibei fun.
Very VERY tiring. Practically went there to feed mosquitoes. But, it was fun. Memorable times with my VAF group, plus other calefares. Hahaha.. no la, my friends! =D
Hate the mosquito feast part. =.= After the sungei buloh phototaking field trip, I already fed more than 10 mosquitoes. Today, fed another 10. NB. Mosquitoes got no life uh, only suck blood. =.=
Urgghhh.. i HATE mosquitoes! >.< They SUCK! They suck blood! T.T

And damn.
Night scene filming not easy de lor... Had SO many lighting problems. And finding an appropriate place to film is hard. And and and, u will have alot of continuity problem. I dunno if our videos came out fine. I'm worrying abt so much. It was tough, u have to keep checking out if our procedures were correct, have to keep running with the time, have to keep worrying how ur shots is gonna match with ur next shot. So many many things to worry about. =( In conclusion, filming is HARD. Think it will take us 3 days to finish our filming for a 5 min video. Sians UH!
It's only filming of video, we haven edit yet. So, we still have so much to go as things r gonna crop up in the later time. Oh noesss. Hope everything went fine. Ahmitabah!
Seriously, dun try night scene if u wan easy filming. We killed ourselves while tryin to film it today. Moreover, the entire video is night scenes. -Faint-

But but but, although i have so many rants, good things always comes after that!
Met new fren! John, our dear kind hearted, cum kind soul, cum good samaritan, cum great man on earth! He was so so so so (x 100 times) generous! To spent the entire day lending us his poor car, spending the entire day hearing me bossing him in doin stuff for our assignment( im gonna apologise for that) and sacrificing his precious-money time just for our insignificant pathetic lil' assignment. Oh man, he's great! =D
I dunno if we'd bored him to death, or wasting so much of his time, but still we appreciate ur utmost help! Thankew marni marni! Ask anything, and we'll try do wad we can! Promise! =D New fren! Good man indeed. Ahh, thank ur car too. Bet ur car is like strained out already. haha

And our dear hanfeng, (our actor) and Junhao(helper). So good to have u guys in our group! And i hope u 2 do enjoy ur time with us. =D Marni Marni thanks also. I dunno how much thankew to say to tell u how appreciated ur helps are. But seriously, its really great to have u guys helping us the whole day, and helping us out on our assignment. We own u treats! Also, ask anything, we'll do wad we can! Promise as well! =D
We've only spent 2 days together, and i felt like we've known for years. Heh heh. Good helpers cum partners! weepee~

Gahh, not easy to be the director. -Sweat-

VAF group mates! WE R A GREAT TEAM! Nice cooperation everyone! U guys r great! =D Although we might have only one year ahead of us, we can still create more such memories like this in this very year, very class, very group. =) I enjoyed u guys and enjoyed spending the day together. Good times! Hope u guys feel that too =D
Ahh yes, pardon my bossy-ness. I seriously have to change that. Oh god. >.<

After whole day of filming at kranji or Lim chu kang, or wadever road is that. All of us were tired out. Great relieve when we said "Thats for today, pack up pack up!" Haha.
Heard so many sigh of relieve that very second man. >D
On the way home, i became so emotional. D=
5 ppl had to squeeze the back seats. 0.0 sia la...
In total, 7 person in a car. 0.0 Stunning man!
Squeezed like wad, everybody tired out, feeling exhausted, rested all we could, while we guys laughed at silly jokes and listen to the music thru the speakers in the car, in the peaceful night.
Love it when our not-so-soft laughters filled the entire car. It sound better than those music we listened to. :)
Felt damn wad sia, it was so great at the moment. And emotions came. Dunno when's the next time we can squeeze ourselves like hamburger like today. Maybe it wont happen anymore coz we r goin seperate options. So i really enjoyed that 10 mins journey to Lot One.
And we took pictures to remember this particular day. Gonna update it once i get the photo. =)

Hur hur hur, fun day.

Ok, think i've bore my pretty readers to death by now. Haha.
Anyway, this shall describe my entire day of filming today. =)

Sleep, i need some sleep now.
Tata~

P.S. I still have to mention this. Jingting really offended all doors in her previous life! She got knocked on the nose by the car door today. LOLS SIA! Haha. First is swing door, next lift door, then car door. What's next uh?! hahahaha! Careful girl! u got knocked down so many times! Owned by door man. Bwahahaha! XD

I'm gonna get over it.
I have to.
Though im still cravin for the reasons,
craving for the infos of ur life now,
I no im soon gonna get over it.
Coz i have to.
And...
i will.

2009-06-17T12:26:00.000+08:00

Its another stay-home day.

Sian again. Tsk.

This song is GREAT. Think most probably u guys heard it b4, if u watch Hannah Montana or sth like that. Nv like this kind of english music coz its not my style of music. But this song is GOOD. Heard it over sb's blog and i'll always pause my music just to listen to this.

Anyway, just suddenly feel like sharing the music. Sian anyway. Haha..

While on my sian day, just online then kena added into convo. We were crapping and well, they r just plain bo liao ppl. Damn bo liao cum big spammers. XD Pictures below tells it all.

Walao, kena spammed by emoticons. Culprit--> Tan Chee Liang. =.=

A closer view on the emoticons. Looks familiar to some of u eh? Yeaaaa, the 'Emo' emoticons. Like, diaosss... =.=

Tan Chee Liang wasnt the only spammer just now. More boliao spammers like Ang Jing Ting and Chad Ko.

Ok ok, i no can use printscreen. But my first instinct was to take a photo using my phone, which is only few centimeters beside me. So where u not happy now? I like can?? Lol..

And i was askin who watch Ghost of the past girlfriend or sth like that. Nobody ans. Walao.

Coz alot of ppl comment this movie not bad uh. Moreover its kinda long since i last watch a movie. The last one was i think was Coming soon with my classmates. Dear 4E5, if u rmb that day we went, YES, its VERY long since i watch a movie. Movie addiction! I wan watch moviesss!!!! =(

Somebody jio me watch leh. Nobody jio me de, damn pathetic. =(

And that day when we went to watch Coming soon, the movie tickets was like WOAH, alot siaaa.

Was so amused with the long strand of ticket (consisting of around 20?), so we boliaos 4E5 go take photos of it. I'm one of the boliaos. Hahaha.

Folded, so cant really see how long. But still, its the first time that i've seen such long strand.

Ok, thats different if u work as a ticket officer in the cinema, coz u've seen thousands more longer than this. Well, thats not the main point.

Tada! unfolded strand.

It's a wonder that i manage to find this in my phone. Antique photo ah. Haha.

Oh yea, I'm gonna talk about dream again.

Today, i had another effing freakish nightmare, well apart from that pregnant nightmare, this one is less freaky.

In the dream, i was told that i was suppose to be the younger child while my sister was suppose to be the older one. Cause er, if im not wrong, i was suppose to come out first then her, but eventually i let my sis out of the womb first, so she is the older one. 0.0

Like wad the hell? When did we become twins. Dun look alike somemore. =.=

Thus, since i was told the truth, they decide to make her the older one and me the younger one. And dunno y my parents suddenly turn into a devil or witch that want US to do plastic surgery to switch our face. -STUNNED-

What kind of parents is that?!

I dunno y in order to switch the status, we have to switch our face.

As we all no, dreams r nonsensical. Rubbish dream. Yea, damn rubbish.

I was even given a paper to sign to agree in performing plastic surgery. Wadda hell? NO WAY MAN.

I shouted in the dream that i will die than to do plastic on my face! I dun even wan to change my looks, i'm happy with wad i have now. Seriously i was already thinking of ways to kill myself if i were to force into doing plastic surgery.

Moreover, I dun wan to be bullied by my sister, so i nv wanted to change our status. Never ever. Die also dun wan.

I was jerk awake by that dream. Scared until couldnt get back into my sleep. Stupid nonsense dream man. =.=

Glad it was all a dream. And dreams don't come true... i think.

Hmm.. photoshop field trip tmr. I hope everything goes fineee. -pray-

Waliew, 7.30am meet?! Kanasai, that means i have to wake up at 6am. 0.0

Walan eh, y not make it even earlier la. Bloody hell siol. My beauty sleep, goes down the drain..

Hais, nth to do. Think im gonna start on assignment soon. Sianssss..

It's good to miss a person,

only when u have the 'permission' to do so,

and not when u have to do it secretly.

2009-06-16T16:04:00.001+08:00

Hais, sian sian sian sian.
Sibei buay song now.
Bad day. Everthing is went totally wrong.
Tot daiko starts at 10 when it starts at 9.
So when i woke up, was told it starts at 9, totally sian diao. Fuck uh... tsk.
Then have to miss out the training, just hope that i won lack behind.
And have to come up with excuses y i din go today. >.< Have to bluff uh. Like wad the fuck, i very honest one leh. Have to resort to lying already. Tsk, Wadever la.
Nth went well since i joined daiko. Y this stupid cca just wont work well for me? Walan eh...
Maybe fated not to join uh. Hais.
And just when i tot maybe could make it for 4E5 outing, realise meeting time is 9.15. Asshole, Then ji tao sian diao again. =.= If i no today will so sian, i should have decide to go for outing.
Now going for NONE. Just stay at home and rot. Mother **** ah! Nb.

Sorry for the unglam language. Just feel so wadever and sian now. Nothing to do.
Since i got nth to do, my editing addiction came back again. So the 2 photos up there, can spot the difference? Left side pic i look like im about to fall asleep. Din do any distortion. While on the right, did distortion for the eyes and blurred the photo. That explains the very energetic eyes. Big uh? Wonders man! Haha.
Well, actually none of them is the original one. All edited b4. The original one looks very greyish.

Ugh, dunno wad to do. Dunno wad to say.
I wan find somebody who can talk so that i can have a companion to spent the day talkin crap with. Rather than sittin down here stoning at the screen.

Hais, wanna go for sharing session with one close fren again. Talk crap. C'mon lets talk crap.
Siao liao, im beginning to talk to myself again.

Dun feel like going for the photoshop fieldtrip on thurs sia. =.= Seems like very sian.
Sleepy, hungry, dabeedooodey, lalala.....

Just one alone is enough.
I only feel more and more hopeless each day.
What should i do?

2009-06-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

I miss sec sch days. I miss my frens. I miss my sch. I miss my old days in Bukit view secondary school. I love the people there. Apparently i still cannot get use to poly life. I wan my past back. I wan the old me. I want the normal laughter i always hear in secondary school. I wan the place that i've already gotten used to for so long. I gotten use to wearing uniform. Gotten use to singing nation anthem every morning. Gotten use to teachers coming in to our class and not us walkin to lectures room in poly. Gotten use to have at least a fren to stick with whereveer i go. Gotten use to having at least a fren to go home together. Gotten used to those jokers in class. Gotten use to everything. I simply haven gotten use to wad is goin around me. I just feel very lost suddenly. =(

Oh my freaking god.
Just while i was typin till here. My sister came back from her tuition and annouced " I stead with 'Him' already"
Mother fuck! -jaw drops-
wad the hell wad the hell wad the hell.
omg omg omg.
Nbnbnbnbnb.
Bloody hell.
QOO.BBQ.MCQ. Wad the crap. Moly shit. Holy cow. @$%^&@#$%^&*&^%$

Man, how lucky can she get.
And this shows wad a failure i am!
How many stead has she got already?! *counts*
And her pathetic sister that obviously lived much longer than her hasnt got one at ALL?!
WHY?! No fair siol!
Sob. -envious-

Things r going so smooth for so many ppl. Been hearing lotsa good news. I feel happy for them, at the same time I'll sigh. I dunno y.

Obviously, i dun get the kind of life i wan.
I dun even no wad kind of life i wan.
Aimless uh. Dead hopeless.

And apparently, since i've entered poly, those that asked, whether I have got stead anot, and I've reply "no, nv had b4", they confirm will give me the super duper uber stun face as though i've just cheated 100 bucks from them. And they dun give those 50% believe-you face. They give you the 100% you're-bluffing kind of face.
And after i make 2nd confirmation that I nv had a boyfren, all will say "confirm got alot of ppl jio but u picky, nv accept"
And after makin the 3rd confirmation that i nv stead b4 and hardly anybody jio reply, they will say i bluff.
Curious y they die also dun believe, so i asked them. And they reply, u look like those got stead b4 kind de.
Where in the first place did my face writes 'I have got bf in my life b4?'.
Nvm, i'll accept that kind of reaction. Its kinda funny to see their expression also. I'll always laugh whenever ppl dun believe me abt this. And i enjoy sayin i nv stead b4. Hahaha.. make myself until damn pure liddat. Bwuahaha.

Ok my sis is chattin happily with her guy. And im here ignitin a room full of vinegar.
Hais.

Seriously i think i've got problem.
Ppl, or maybe more popular ppl, will have their smses bursting. (If u dun understand my alien language, it means their handphone bills already exploded due to heavy smses a day. If u still dun understand, go find any wall and bang urself.)
While even 1000 free smses is not enough for them, my smses will always be full loaded.
Which practically means, i dun get alot of smses a day. In fact, my phone can go silent for the whole week, seriously. Even more than one week.
Now that i've gotten use to 1 sms a day only. Too immune to silent phone already.
I seriously wonder y Peilin and Jt can burst their handphone bills. =.= power!
Even my sister also manage to do that. But she'll always get to sms again by using MINE. =.= As i said, mine is fully loaded.

Anyway, y the hell m i tryin to show how pathetic i m?
Im outa my mind.

nvm, ignore me.
I'll quickly post another to cover this random post tmr.
Ok, set!

When I'm stranded alone in the dark woods, I hope to have somebody by my side too.
To hold my hands and lead the way.

EDITED**
Suddenly feel that this post feels kinda despo. Well wadever, i din mean it that way either.

2009-06-15T14:49:00.000+08:00

Remember i post those pics on tomboys?
Got one that resembles Kim John Hoon?
Well, nvm if u dun rmb.

Anyway, manage to find HER videos in youtube... sia la.. haha.
She damn cool and cute can. LOLS...
AND,
i WAN her hair! Her hair her hair!! Darn nice!

Hahaha, Love the way the diao us. LOLS..
Theres more videos she made out of boredom, and seriously she's cute.
Well, if u guys at least bother.
Nvm..
Heres her pictures. If u r interested in tomboy too. Dun watch if u dun like or bother.

Alot of 'F.L.' there right?! Hahaha! MY NAME! >.<
No la, thats her name i suppose.
ALot of ppl mistaken her as korean. I tot she was taiwanese. >.<
well, she's not. She live in france/sete. And shes 75%(?) vietnamese and 25% chinese. Lols. She describes using percentages. Haha. And the cool thing is that she speak France, English, Vietnam, Thailand and one more that i couldn't hear her clearly. Norway or sth like that.
And and and, her name is France. How cool is that? WALIEW. Sibei cool ah she. Haha.

Aye, cannot find Kim BiHyul de videos. Coz shes not a celeb. Haix, cannot find out more abt her. sadded. Kim Bihyul rocks. She is the shuaitest girl on earth. Well, to me la can.

And well, i came upon a music while viewin these video. Very de nice. Its music without anybody singing. AND, if u like band music, then listen to it. Very very nice.
Seventeen years by Ratatat.
Maybe u've heard b4. Good! we have the same taste! >D

Hmm, eatin a packet of twisties now. WALAO EH!. Lao hong one lor! Not crunchy at all. Machiam like chewing a rubber now siol. Ugh. Father bot one packet of lao hong twisties. =.= Later complain to him ah. Haha...
No la, I not that bad la.

Being so random now.

Oh, previously my post i wrote sth down. But this stupid, lousy, kanasai blogger code got problem again then the whole thing gone. =.=

Nvm, i shall post it here.

David told me sth that stunned me the entire day when i went out with her on fri. I'm still kinda shock and surprise right now coz i find it unbelievable. But still, thanks for telling me that i was once wanted uh. At least i was wanted b4 and not a worthless and unwanted piece of rubbish that i tot i was. Wad u said seriously gave me a jab of confidence. Nv tot there was this 'sb' out there . Im glad u told me. This shows that u still trust me and willing to tell me although i can sense that u regret abit after u spoke. Haha. I admit im happy to no this. And im still happy about it now. At least i no i was something once.
Haha, glad I'm still that trustable after like 2 years of cold shouldering with each other. Tsk, we wasted 2 years of our sec sch sia.. Thanks to rachelle that brought our friendship back. =)

Anyway, thats all i suppose. Nothing more to write. And huh, now im finding goin online is very de sian. Got nothing to do de! Tsk. Siansss ah..
And I still dun wanna start on those stupid assignment. Piss me off seh. =.=

If you're at least bothered,
do something then.

Although I still bother alot,
although I'm still hoping,
although I'm still pending for some changes,
I no one day i can.
I no I'll be able to get over it,
And i will.

2009-06-14T04:45:00.000+08:00

Undeneh Undeneh, yeepah yeepah!

Few days nv post le.
Gonna talk abt 12/06/09, which is on friday.

Er, a very sudden outing with David. Haha, we were planing to meet up someday to catch up with each other. Then the day b4 fri, she suddenly wanted to meet on fri. So overall, the outing is like very abrupt. Lol.

Went to Jurong Point.
Oh, we decide to meet coz we were sharing each others problems. Coz that time we only had one hour to crap our problems out. In the end , my problems were only shared halfway. So we plan to meet again to finish up my story.

Dunno y when i told her abt current crush, she look at me as though i just place a cockcroach in my mouth right in front of her. LOLS sia! Big reaction she's got. And she still couldn't understand y its him. She graded him until even i also felt pity for him. Damn bad uh David. Haha!
Upon tellin her everything that happened .. she was like discouraging me from continuin coz its like he's not worth it. I deserve sth better. Think thats wad she said. I could have find someone better than wastin time on him. LOL. she really judge him until damn jialat siol.
Anyway, her psychoing works! The way she 'psychoed', amazingly manage to lessen the crush i had and yea, i think im able to let it go slowly le. Sia la, David u damn pro. One day nia, u manage to make me like let go of something that i hung on for so long. When i tried means and ways for a few months. Haha.
After talkin to David, felt my a heavy burden lessened so much. Good to have someone to talk to.
(P.S Although i feel that u r not actually interested in wad im saying or even listening to me. >.<)

Then it was 13/06/09, which is ,well.. ytd only la.. Haha. Make until so grand liddat.

Ok, so as according to plan, I met up with my VAF group(JT,Peilin,Erika) and Hanfeng(Our actor) and Junhao xiao di (XD) to do our assignment.Managed to chiong all the indoor scenes by ytd. Woo! Big big BIG credits to our dear actor, and junhao. Without them uh, we cant possibly finish everything that we were suppose to film ytd.

Firstly, Hanfeng. U r very de great in acting. Pro siol! Good good! Very little NGs. Pei fu ah. Thanks for compromising with us, and doin things when u r gettin nothing in return. And sorry for my 'ordering' to u ytd. Dun mind uh? And sorry for askin u to retake some shots. Thanks marni marni! >D
Secondly, Junhao. Thanks for giving us filmin advise, helpin us as much as u could. And sacrificing ur work just to help us. (or maybe an excuse for u to skip work XD) Ur advise gave us a great push. Or not we will still be halfway done, still stuck on how we r gonna continue with our filming. Coz we abit noob ah. Haha. Hope we r not that boring that bores u to death.
Still, very grateful for doin thing without askin for returns. Arigatou! Thanks marni marni!
Thirdy, not forgettin my group.. duh! Thanks for erika willingly lendin us her house to film. Jt that naoty girl, sick le still wan crawl to bishan, and peilin for carrying so many things here, when its not needed at all. We all did a very good work, although our plan very scattered, still manage to team up and get everything done. Hooray for u guys! We r a GREAT team! Woohoo!

Filming ytd was like VERY fun! Laugh until like wad. Hanfeng nv fail to blast us with his exaggerating expression la. And i love the part where we have to redo so many times to get the frisbee shot correct. Haha! Peilin and i was doin the catchin of frisbee as Junhao threw them. Have to redo SO many times coz we always miss catchin the frisbee and lettin it drop. But was worth the time la, fun ! Haha, i dun mind redo-ing it again. XD
Then after filming, went to eat dinner at mac. Hais, JT and hanfeng have to go off first. Coz Jt got curfew. Sadded.
Oh, and i HAVE to mention. JT.. HAHAH! I think her previous life ah, offended alot of doors... Haha!, always kena hit by doors! SIA LA. Ytd she was owned by the lift doors. The door just close and bang into her. Hahaha! XD
And and and! JUNHAO. Mwuahahaha! He is previously in his life offended Erika house. Just when he entered the door, he nv see the lock up there, heng heng so knock into it! LAUGHS!!!
And he knock into the lower shelf later in the house. LOLS LA!!
Think he got head concussion already. Each time he knock into his head ah.. everybody can't help but to laugh damn hard la! Waliew! Farni sia he. Hahaha! Junhao, i hope u dun see my blog. Seriously. >D
Great memories kept. =D

Ok, all text again. So maybe just recommend a song or two.
Dunno if u all listen b4 anot. Its not the best, but still manageable.
Lol.. jus tryin to add something to this very sian de post la. Haha.
Song called One by Epik high.
Abit of the techno style.

This is wad i have been listening recently. Haha, sth to catch up with MOI! (like you care)

Well anyway. I seriously like the song Noona is pretty by Shinee . Love their dance also.
Well, put here for those who nv hear b4, although i bet alot of ppl knew this song already. Knew this song in Peilin's blog. Peilin, u got alot of nice song in ur blog ah. >D

Love this song. Iwanna learn their dance!!!! >.< I wan I wan I wan!!!They dance until damn power la! Sibei pro. Fell in love with their MV man. I'm Lovin' It!
Seriously, if got chance i wan learn. I dun care! XD

Hmm.. Yeoh Wei Jie praised that my blog is is kinda interesting to read.
-Stunned plus shocked plus laughed out loud-

LOL?! Sorry Night mouse. I din mean to react sarcastically to you when u praised my blog. But seriously, i only find my blog boring, and well, BORING. Lol. Ok, i have to admit I am very very happy when u said my blog is good. At least some ppl like you take the effort to read it. But i always dun find my blog readable nor interesting at all. Haha.
Well, alot of ppl have great blogs too. Can learn from them also. haha.
I dunno who would actually visit my blog. Think its like less than around 5 ppl each day? Ya la, quite pathetic. Nvm, dun brood so much. The lesser ppl come, the better! Can badmouth them. Mwuahaha!

But i still think my blog is boring.
Anyway, that's all for today i suppose.

EDITED**
Accidentally delete some tags in my tagboard. Paiseh. Repaste the newest tag.

14 Jun 09, 17:16
jingting: hahahha!! doors== LOL..hmm..ytd not really curfew leys..hahahas..is because i sick, so had to go home early T.T LOLS..hope u all had fun ytd ^^

14 Jun 09, 17:11
ah feng: [Esther] Ya la! He really died in India lor, no news de. sianz.. >D

14 Jun 09, 17:11
ah feng: [corrine] Lol. won hide le la.. later u emo again.. coz u love me too much le XD Haha!

14 Jun 09, 17:10
ah feng: [xiaolin] YA YA YA!!! BiHyun is HOT!!! She the shuaitest on earth uh.. >D

14 Jun 09, 14:59
Esther: Ya. I think he die already. LOL

14 Jun 09, 10:37
C,orrine: You sayyy de uh! ;D. So better dnt hide from me when u see me uhuhuh! missyou! xoxo

14 Jun 09, 03:39
xiaolin: feng, jiayou!! BiHyul super shuai lah!! XD

Seriously are u dead or sth?
Almost a week since u last online!
Where r you?
What r you busying abt?
Hais.